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So it's half eight in the morning, I'm walking my girlfriend and her Mother to the town. In the dis**tance I see some children mucking about, jumping and rolling on the wet ground. But as I get closer, I realise that these aren't children, they are but men. Two men in their twenties, clearly unable to get any form of employment, smacked out (possibly on smack), at half eight in the morning. They were saying the queeres**t things too: "I'll sh*t in your mouth", was what they were mos**tly saying, to people in suits, passers-by, and even an old lady with a push trolley.
It dawned on me after a second or two, that there was no way pas**t these two goons without me getting my fair share of their unique brand of Chris**tmas spirit. They'd moved on a bit as we were walking, but we had to pass them in a narrow gap, and that's when we got our honours. I laughed, my girlfriend laughed, and my girlfriend's Mother laughed. "Why is everyone laughing at me, I'll sh*t in their mouths", they said, "Hey Bruv (yes, he actually said that), I'll sh*t in your mouth". Me and the girlfriend walk off giggling, GF's Mum goes in shop, giggling.
Not exactly what I wanted to happen that early in the morning, and I have to admit that I was tempted to one-inch punch them both, then drop their corpses off at the Police s**tation. But the real Police got there firs**t. "The girls in Next were f**king asking for it", I hear one of them say as I make my way home.
Leah Betts had the right idea.
It dawned on me after a second or two, that there was no way pas**t these two goons without me getting my fair share of their unique brand of Chris**tmas spirit. They'd moved on a bit as we were walking, but we had to pass them in a narrow gap, and that's when we got our honours. I laughed, my girlfriend laughed, and my girlfriend's Mother laughed. "Why is everyone laughing at me, I'll sh*t in their mouths", they said, "Hey Bruv (yes, he actually said that), I'll sh*t in your mouth". Me and the girlfriend walk off giggling, GF's Mum goes in shop, giggling.
Not exactly what I wanted to happen that early in the morning, and I have to admit that I was tempted to one-inch punch them both, then drop their corpses off at the Police s**tation. But the real Police got there firs**t. "The girls in Next were f**king asking for it", I hear one of them say as I make my way home.
Leah Betts had the right idea.
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So it's half eight in the morning, I'm walking my girlfriend and her Mother to the town. In the dis**tance I see some children mucking about, jumping and rolling on the wet ground. But as I get closer, I realise that these aren't children, they are but men. Two men in their twenties, clearly unable to get any form of employment, smacked out (possibly on smack), at half eight in the morning. They were saying the queeres**t things too: "I'll sh*t in your mouth", was what they were mos**tly saying, to people in suits, passers-by, and even an old lady with a push trolley.
It dawned on me after a second or two, that there was no way pas**t these two goons without me getting my fair share of their unique brand of Chris**tmas spirit. They'd moved on a bit as we were walking, but we had to pass them in a narrow gap, and that's when we got our honours. I laughed, my girlfriend laughed, and my girlfriend's Mother laughed. "Why is everyone laughing at me, I'll sh*t in their mouths", they said, "Hey Bruv (yes, he actually said that), I'll sh*t in your mouth". Me and the girlfriend walk off giggling, GF's Mum goes in shop, giggling.
Not exactly what I wanted to happen that early in the morning, and I have to admit that I was tempted to one-inch punch them both, then drop their corpses off at the Police s**tation. But the real Police got there firs**t. "The girls in Next were f**king asking for it", I hear one of them say as I make my way home.
Leah Betts had the right idea.
It dawned on me after a second or two, that there was no way pas**t these two goons without me getting my fair share of their unique brand of Chris**tmas spirit. They'd moved on a bit as we were walking, but we had to pass them in a narrow gap, and that's when we got our honours. I laughed, my girlfriend laughed, and my girlfriend's Mother laughed. "Why is everyone laughing at me, I'll sh*t in their mouths", they said, "Hey Bruv (yes, he actually said that), I'll sh*t in your mouth". Me and the girlfriend walk off giggling, GF's Mum goes in shop, giggling.
Not exactly what I wanted to happen that early in the morning, and I have to admit that I was tempted to one-inch punch them both, then drop their corpses off at the Police s**tation. But the real Police got there firs**t. "The girls in Next were f**king asking for it", I hear one of them say as I make my way home.
Leah Betts had the right idea.
Oh Harlow what a mess, thats why i only come back for holidays. Glad you didn't get to much abuse from them.
theres a guy in preston city centre who really does belive hes micheal jackson dresses the same and sings and dances ! if you go to talk to him he gets in his pretend limo and drives away ! it really is very funny !
sweet tooth wrote:
> theres a guy in preston city centre who really does belive hes micheal
> jackson dresses the same and sings and dances ! if you go to talk to
> him he gets in his pretend limo and drives away ! it really is very
> funny !
Wish i could see that i would race him in my pretend 'supra' (spell?)
> theres a guy in preston city centre who really does belive hes micheal
> jackson dresses the same and sings and dances ! if you go to talk to
> him he gets in his pretend limo and drives away ! it really is very
> funny !
Wish i could see that i would race him in my pretend 'supra' (spell?)
people do race him in there pretend cars ! he also has a bodyguard ! they have just closed one of the biggest funny farms in preston and let all of them loose but not the ones who are locked away in padded cells !
sweet tooth wrote:
> people do race him in there pretend cars ! he also has a bodyguard !
> they have just closed one of the biggest funny farms in preston and
> let all of them loose but not the ones who are locked away in padded
> cells !
That would make great reality tv.
> people do race him in there pretend cars ! he also has a bodyguard !
> they have just closed one of the biggest funny farms in preston and
> let all of them loose but not the ones who are locked away in padded
> cells !
That would make great reality tv.
it would make great tv they might even give him his own show !
monkey_man wrote:
> They were
> saying the queeres**t things too: "I'll sh*t in your mouth",
> was what they were mos**tly saying, to people in suits, passers-by, and
> even an old lady with a push trolley.
This may very well be my former housemate...
> They were
> saying the queeres**t things too: "I'll sh*t in your mouth",
> was what they were mos**tly saying, to people in suits, passers-by, and
> even an old lady with a push trolley.
This may very well be my former housemate...
Light wrote:
> This may very well be my former housemate...
Is that like the 'one of my friends' statments when you really mean yourself.
Were you playing on the ground again? :P
> This may very well be my former housemate...
Is that like the 'one of my friends' statments when you really mean yourself.
Were you playing on the ground again? :P
Thing is, I'm serious.
The S**t in My Mouth thing was one of his regular drunken tirades...
The S**t in My Mouth thing was one of his regular drunken tirades...
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