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"HERES SOME TRUE STORIES ABOUT THE WORLDS MOST STUPID PEOPLE"

Some of these true stories are too hard to beleive its been said that these poor ffolk are unfit to live due to theire complete and utter stupidity.


(1999, Tokyo) The recent craze for
hydrogen beer is at the heart of a
three-way lawsuit between
unemployed stockbroker Toshira
Otoma, the Tike-Take karaoke bar, and
the Asaka Beer Corporation. Mr.
Otoma is suing the bar and the
brewery for selling toxic substances,
and is claiming damages for grievous
bodily harm leading to the loss of his
job. The bar is counter-suing for
defamation and loss of customers.

The Asaka Beer corporation brews
"Suiso" brand beer, in which the
carbon dioxide normally used to add
fizz has been replaced by the more
environmentally friendly hydrogen gas.
Two side effects of the hydrogen gas
have made the beer extremely popular
at karaoke sing-along bars and
discotheques.

First, because hydrogen molecules are
lighter than air, sound waves are
transmitted more rapidly, so individuals
whose lungs are filled with the nontoxic
gas can speak with an
uncharacteristically high voice.
Exploiting this quirk of physics, chic
urbanites can now sing soprano parts
on karaoke sing-along machines after
consuming a big gulp of Suiso beer.

Second, the flammable nature of
hydrogen has also become a selling
point, though it should be noted that
Asaka has not acknowledged that this
was a deliberate marketing ploy.

The beer has inspired a new fashion of
blowing flames from one's mouth using
a cigarette as an ignition source. Many
new karaoke videos feature singers
shooting blue flames in slow motion,
while flame contests take place in pubs
everywhere. "Mr. Otoma has no one to
blame but himself. If he had not
become drunk and disorderly, none of
this would have happened. Our
security guards undergo the most
careful screening and training before
they are allowed to deal with
customers," said Mr. Takashi Nomura,
Manager of the Tike-Take bar.

"Mr. Otoma drank fifteen bottles of
hydrogen beer in order to maximize the
size of the flames he could belch
during the contest. He catapulted balls
of fire across the room that Godzilla
would be proud of, but this was not
enough to win him first prize since the
judgment is made on the quality of the
flames and the singing, and after fifteen
bottles of lager he was badly out of
tune."

"He took exception to the result and
hurled blue fireballs at the judge,
singeing the front of a female judge's
hair and entirely removing her
eyebrows and lashes, and ruining the
clothes of two nearby customers. None
of these people have returned to my
bar. When our security staff
approached Mr. Otoma, he turned his
attentions to them, making it almost
impossible to approach him. Our head
bouncer had no choice but to hurl
himself at Mr. Otoma's knees,
knocking his legs from under him."

"The laws of physics are not to be
disobeyed, and the force that propelled
Mr. Otoma's legs backwards also
pivoted around his center of gravity and
moved his upper body forward with
equal velocity. It was his own fault that
he had his mouth open for the next
belch, his own fault that he held a
lighted cigarette in front of it, and his
own fault that he swallowed that
cigarette."

"The Tike-Take bar takes no
responsibility for the subsequent
internal combustion, rupture of his
stomach lining, nor the third degree
burns to his esophagus, larynx and
sinuses as the exploding gases forced
their way out of his body. Mr. Otoma's
consequential muteness and loss of
employment are his own fault."

Mr. Otoma was unavailable for
comment

"America's Dummest Criminals"

Does that programme not just say it all??

yep cos wre all sensebile and decent folk .

None of the ones mentioned are from the UK as we aren;t as stupid as Americans.

Notice how all the people mentioned aren't from the UK.

lovely jubely

good one take this on for size





(1998) A 39-year-old
Charlottesville man died
Thursday in a freak accident
involving his washing
machine. According to police
reports, Samuel Randolph
Strickson was doing laundry
when he tried to speed up the
process. Strickson apparently
tried to stuff approximately 50
pounds of laundry into his
washing machine by climbing
on top of the washer and
attempting to force the clothing
into the basin. Strickson then
apparently accidentally kicked
the washing machine's ON
button. When the machine
turned on, Strickson lost his
balance and both feet went
down into the machine, where
they got stuck.

The machine started its cycle,
and Strickson, unable to free
himself, started thrashing
around as the machine's
agitator went into gear.
Strickson's head banged
against a nearby shelf in the
laundry room, knocking over a
bottle of bleach, which poured
over Strickson's face, blinding
him. Forensic reports

Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it.
Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

(NICE)

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house.
The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him, and the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone and summoned the ambulance.
Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the wife up righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside.

Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some
paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.
The man was treated and released to come home.
Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette.
After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while seated.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin.
The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street.
The paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and began carrying him to the street.

While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself.
She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out.
He fell down the remaining stairs and broke his arm.

Taken from a Florida Newspaper.

(THIS IS MEANT TO BE A TRUE STORY,BUT THE CHANCES OF IT ACTUALLY HAPPENING ARE PRETTY RARE DON'T YOU THINK?)

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and facemask. Cause of death was massive internal injuries.
Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went
for a diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and then flown to the forest fire and emptied.

You guessed it.

One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific,
the next he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.
Apparently he extinguished exactly 5' 10" of the fire.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

This article was taken from the California Examiner, March 20,1998

oh ha ha ha just read them there really funny it just depebds what type of sense of houmor you have