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This isn’t some craftily worded little parody or a creative piece of writing, I’m actually leaving the forums. I know lately I’ve been the malignant little tumour and done nothing of much use around here except be ‘controversial’ and annoy people – for this I am sorry. Lately I haven’t been pleasant to be around at all. Truth be told I’m depressed – not in a trendy gothic way, in a real haunting way. There’s not much in my life that makes me happy, in fact I’m struggling to find a simple example.
Nothing is wrong with my life, I think I’m just sick of the same routine. Wake up, go to school, learn, homework, essays. My plan is to gain perspective. See life from a different side, change parts of my life that I’m not happy with, and it somehow seems wasteful posting on an Internet forum when I should be learning life skills and stuff that I really know nothing about.
I’ve gone on and on about wanting to be a writer but I don’t think that will make me happy. This kind of messes up my future plans because my university plans are all set – however I’m starting to realise that perhaps this isn’t all that important to have a plan, I’m just going to take things as they come – try and enjoy life for once. Enjoying life is something I haven’t done for quite some time now. I know I’m not a particularly pleasant person but I’m going to try and get my piece of enjoyment from life. Maybe it’s something we’re all entitled to.
I’ve basically come to realise that I’m a very unbalanced person – either I’ll be happy or depressed – there’s no real equilibrium for me. I finally admitted my situation to a ‘real’ person, my mum. I told her everything about how I am unhappy with life, that I’m a confused little boy with no real plans or ideas and that I am pretty much depressed to the point of considering killing myself. She’s going to take my to the doctors, she thinks they can help me with medicine or something. Maybe balance me out somehow. I always knew I was unbalanced and that I wasn’t like other people but I didn’t know I was this bad. Since I’ve told my mum my family have treated me like I’m seriously ill, telling me I can “talk to them about anything” and they “just want to do what’s best for me”
I hope I don’t end up in a ward in a straightjacket eating all my meals through straws because I’m not allowed near cutlery. I don’t think I’d like that.
So, is this goodbye forever? Perhaps. Perhaps not. I need to sort my life out and that involved changing aspects of my life – and sitting at a computer nearly every night isn’t such a great achievement. The way I’ve been going lately I’ve been looking at a banning anyway and I doubt I’d have returned if that happened, again. So whilst I’m not banned here’s my little farewell. I’ve made something of a big deal about it – to be perfectly honest because it is a big deal for me. These forums have been a part of my life for nigh on 4 years and up-and-leaving isn’t the easiest thing in the world.
For the times I have had I am grateful. I remember fondly the early days – the spoofs and the constant parodies of stuff. I remember gaining an interest in writing due to the stuff I’ve seen here, something which has probably changed my means of self expression forever. I’ve talked to people here with fantastic outlooks on life, then again I’ve talked to some utter idiots.
I don’t know what my standing in the popularity stakes is at the moment, nor do I really care any more. Craving acceptance from Internet people is no longer on my agenda. I hope, however, that as I leave it is a fond farewell and not a good riddance.
A few of you are still on my msn list and when I am online (which will not be as much) I will gladly chat to you. I’m not trying to sever links I’ve made, just to change my life and be happy.
I’ll leave you with a quote that has offered me a reasonable level of comfort over the years.
“Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know”
- Ernest Hemmingway
Nothing is wrong with my life, I think I’m just sick of the same routine. Wake up, go to school, learn, homework, essays. My plan is to gain perspective. See life from a different side, change parts of my life that I’m not happy with, and it somehow seems wasteful posting on an Internet forum when I should be learning life skills and stuff that I really know nothing about.
I’ve gone on and on about wanting to be a writer but I don’t think that will make me happy. This kind of messes up my future plans because my university plans are all set – however I’m starting to realise that perhaps this isn’t all that important to have a plan, I’m just going to take things as they come – try and enjoy life for once. Enjoying life is something I haven’t done for quite some time now. I know I’m not a particularly pleasant person but I’m going to try and get my piece of enjoyment from life. Maybe it’s something we’re all entitled to.
I’ve basically come to realise that I’m a very unbalanced person – either I’ll be happy or depressed – there’s no real equilibrium for me. I finally admitted my situation to a ‘real’ person, my mum. I told her everything about how I am unhappy with life, that I’m a confused little boy with no real plans or ideas and that I am pretty much depressed to the point of considering killing myself. She’s going to take my to the doctors, she thinks they can help me with medicine or something. Maybe balance me out somehow. I always knew I was unbalanced and that I wasn’t like other people but I didn’t know I was this bad. Since I’ve told my mum my family have treated me like I’m seriously ill, telling me I can “talk to them about anything” and they “just want to do what’s best for me”
I hope I don’t end up in a ward in a straightjacket eating all my meals through straws because I’m not allowed near cutlery. I don’t think I’d like that.
So, is this goodbye forever? Perhaps. Perhaps not. I need to sort my life out and that involved changing aspects of my life – and sitting at a computer nearly every night isn’t such a great achievement. The way I’ve been going lately I’ve been looking at a banning anyway and I doubt I’d have returned if that happened, again. So whilst I’m not banned here’s my little farewell. I’ve made something of a big deal about it – to be perfectly honest because it is a big deal for me. These forums have been a part of my life for nigh on 4 years and up-and-leaving isn’t the easiest thing in the world.
For the times I have had I am grateful. I remember fondly the early days – the spoofs and the constant parodies of stuff. I remember gaining an interest in writing due to the stuff I’ve seen here, something which has probably changed my means of self expression forever. I’ve talked to people here with fantastic outlooks on life, then again I’ve talked to some utter idiots.
I don’t know what my standing in the popularity stakes is at the moment, nor do I really care any more. Craving acceptance from Internet people is no longer on my agenda. I hope, however, that as I leave it is a fond farewell and not a good riddance.
A few of you are still on my msn list and when I am online (which will not be as much) I will gladly chat to you. I’m not trying to sever links I’ve made, just to change my life and be happy.
I’ll leave you with a quote that has offered me a reasonable level of comfort over the years.
“Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know”
- Ernest Hemmingway
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>
> “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know”
> - Ernest Hemmingway
Tsk, obviously he took a blind eye (no pun intended) to those who had both.
> “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know”
> - Ernest Hemmingway
Tsk, obviously he took a blind eye (no pun intended) to those who had both.
mattributé wrote:
> Paradox: wrote:
> “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know”
> - Ernest Hemmingway
>
> I didn't read your post, but I've just seen this at the bottom and,
> to be frank, it's the most self indulgent thing I've read in recent
> memory. Kyle you may have a bit of a gift with writing (key word =
> bit), but your ego ruins any chance anyone has of appreciating it.
You are one arrogant feck sometimes, Kyz.
And terribly over-defensive of anything you write - if people don't like it, they obviously don't get you, or are too stupid to appriciate such genius.
Lighten up while you're away.
> Paradox: wrote:
> “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know”
> - Ernest Hemmingway
>
> I didn't read your post, but I've just seen this at the bottom and,
> to be frank, it's the most self indulgent thing I've read in recent
> memory. Kyle you may have a bit of a gift with writing (key word =
> bit), but your ego ruins any chance anyone has of appreciating it.
You are one arrogant feck sometimes, Kyz.
And terribly over-defensive of anything you write - if people don't like it, they obviously don't get you, or are too stupid to appriciate such genius.
Lighten up while you're away.
What highly bit?
So long.
Urgh. Damn, I won't edit, just so people who read through this know that I am, in fact, human, and make stupid mistakes such as that.
Forget that 'highly' bit, yes?
Forget that 'highly' bit, yes?
mattributé wrote:
> “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know”
> - Ernest Hemmingway
> Kyz is saying that he's highly intelligent
Oh? I thought he was saying he was just intelligent.
> “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know”
> - Ernest Hemmingway
> Kyz is saying that he's highly intelligent
Oh? I thought he was saying he was just intelligent.
Paradox: wrote:
> I’ll leave you with a quote that has offered me a reasonable level of
> comfort over the years.
>
> “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know”
> - Ernest Hemmingway
Azul, look. I didn't quote the whole thing for whatever reason in my original post, so I'll do it here.
Basically, Kyz is saying that he's highly intelligent. And is also depressed. Which does make it seem like the 'cool gothic' type of depression he claimed it wasn't.
So hush, young one, and get to bed.
> I’ll leave you with a quote that has offered me a reasonable level of
> comfort over the years.
>
> “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know”
> - Ernest Hemmingway
Azul, look. I didn't quote the whole thing for whatever reason in my original post, so I'll do it here.
Basically, Kyz is saying that he's highly intelligent. And is also depressed. Which does make it seem like the 'cool gothic' type of depression he claimed it wasn't.
So hush, young one, and get to bed.
Yeah but, the way quotes work tribute is that they're by someone else.
Good luck Kyle, though you may not feel it now, your current depression will come in useful in your happier, later life. Trust me.
Paradox: wrote:
> “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know”
> - Ernest Hemmingway
I didn't read your post, but I've just seen this at the bottom and, to be frank, it's the most self indulgent thing I've read in recent memory. Kyle you may have a bit of a gift with writing (key word = bit), but your ego ruins any chance anyone has of appreciating it.
Good riddens.
> “Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know”
> - Ernest Hemmingway
I didn't read your post, but I've just seen this at the bottom and, to be frank, it's the most self indulgent thing I've read in recent memory. Kyle you may have a bit of a gift with writing (key word = bit), but your ego ruins any chance anyone has of appreciating it.
Good riddens.
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