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"The Stare"

So these kids were playing football outside, when one of these extremely untalented kids landed the ball smack on the front wall of my house. They edged around the place, deciding who should dare enter my den of a garden. One of them summonded up the courage, to which he recived a mighty stare. They're not suprisingly playing somewhere else now.

Well, I wouldn't want to give them nightmares, now would I? They play elsewhere now so it appears to have worked.

Forest Fan wrote:
> So these kids were playing football outside, when one of these
> extremely untalented kids landed the ball smack on the front wall of
> my house. They edged around the place, deciding who should dare enter
> my den of a garden. One of them summonded up the courage, to which he
> recived a mighty stare. They're not suprisingly playing somewhere
> else now.

Wow, I can't think of anything less threatening than you. Maybe Jesus appeared behind you, but vanished when you turned round, like that film with the bear?

Alright, I confess!

witch-king wrote:
> Guy: Hello, kids. Can ya keep the ball away from the windows?
>
> Kid: Go to hell, b*tch. Get him!
>
> And they advance on you brandishing weapons.
Then you run, probably in doors and then call the cops

what if Timmargh pretends to be your mother?

the sagacious one wrote:
> You're not getting in, simple as that ...

*Timmargh reads whole post*

*Timmargh thinks for a while*

...

*Timmargh thinks for a while longer*

...

*Timmargh finally realises the vulnerability in Saggy's defences*

*Timmargh wheels off to make plans, laughing maniacally as he goes*

Afternoon wrote:
> You can't murder someone for kicking a ball at your wall (unless it
> squashes a rare plant worth thousands)

Still a bit of a stretch I would,ve thought. You might be able to murder them if this happened:

Guy: Hello, kids. Can ya keep the ball away from the windows?

Kid: Go to hell, b*tch. Get him!

And they advance on you brandishing weapons.

You can't murder someone for kicking a ball at your wall (unless it squashes a rare plant worth thousands)

I always thought it would be great to train a perrigran(sp) to gouge peoples eyes out.

Then they would know I was the king, as I walked amongst them with a necklace of eyes.

Timmargh wrote:
> If you mined your garden, Saggy, would you still leave the magnet in
> the driveway?

You're not getting in, simple as that. I'm also considering training a Hawk to attack anyone who tries to parachute onto my roof. Or maybe I'll simply deploy my Doberman Hang-gliding guard dogs.

Also I have some deadly Moles on standby for any underground approach (I've stuffed a grenade up each of their asses).