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"The Stare"

So these kids were playing football outside, when one of these extremely untalented kids landed the ball smack on the front wall of my house. They edged around the place, deciding who should dare enter my den of a garden. One of them summonded up the courage, to which he recived a mighty stare. They're not suprisingly playing somewhere else now.

Timmargh wrote:

> After you've used the GlowerShowerTM, you should apply that
> cream I sent with it, the one marked "for use after a nuclear
> attack".

Oh dear lord, I've given it to my Grandad to rub onto his Piles.

Steve is having a few problems with his teleporter - we tested it the other day with a coin, but it only got transported across the room and down the back of the sofa.

After you've used the GlowerShowerTM, you should apply that cream I sent with it, the one marked "for use after a nuclear attack".

I had you earmarked as some kind of Bond-esque villian, who'd happily reveal his dastardly plan without a moments hesitation.

By the way on an unrelated subject, has your mate Hawking finished his prototype teleportation device?

Oh and that Pod style shower you sent me the other day seems very effective. I stand inside it, press a button, there's a flash of light and the dirt just disappears. Sometimes so does my skin but I can't really complain.

the sagacious one wrote:
> Stuff.

Oh, is this the bit where I say "No, I wasn't going to do that" and then inadvertently reveal my plan to you? Well, Mr. Sag, I'm smarter than that, thank you very much.

*leaves*

*trees*

*etc.*

i know someone who did that. next morning there was eggs on his window

Comedy gold.

Timmargh wrote:
> the sagacious one wrote:

> *Timmargh finally realises the vulnerability in Saggy's defences*
>
> *Timmargh wheels off to make plans, laughing maniacally as he goes*

Don't think that I'm falling for that whole "I'm your Helpful House Helper Robot" free trial, tinfoiled up trick again. You never cleaned the carpet properly anyway. I knew that Robots would use a bigger straw.

And don't try posting yourself to my house either. If you get a Postie like Goatboy you'd probably end up in a Canal anyway, with some Kittens in a sack (filled with precious pieces of Art to weigh it down) and a special delivery containing the only batch of the AIDS vaccine in existence.

And your god rains fire and brimstone down on them from the heavens.

Considering my age, I hardly think they're worried about that. They're more concerned about getting out the garden before their mates desert them.

When you gave them the mighty stare, they might well have thought you were a perv. Why didn't you just say:

"Won't you come inside for some cookies..."