Viewing Thread:
"I'm beginning to like the Olympics."

It's excellent, like a live version of Auntie's Sporting Bloomers. So far 'Great' Britain has managed to lose nearly every event, except for the badminton, and after 4 years of training, came second in the bombing competition. Then one of our most prized athletes jumped in a swimming pool and hit a camera (wtf!?), and proceeded to sob live on television, to millions of people, about how she's wasted 4 years of her life. *slow claps* you spend your life training for this one day, then crap your legs up. Better than that was the bike-riding-lady who rode into a wall. It's like there's been a huge mix-up and we sent our Special Olympics team in for the real thing.

The women's volleyball was pretty good though...

For some reason, I'm compelled to watch the damn thing. Even though I don't have the remotest interest in it, and even though I'd normally need to have threats of physical violence to my testicles as an alternative, I find myself transfixed by diving and cycling. Proof of the power of hype? Or just me being sad gimboid? I suspect the latter...

I watched it today.

How boring, horse jumping and rowing or whatever.

monkey_man wrote:

> The women's volleyball was pretty good though...

Dunno if the rule still applys but at first girls had to wear something revealing in competitions eg a bikini. Was or is that the coolest rule ever?

Stryke wrote:

> OK. But she still has a face like a horse. And if she doesn't get a
> medal then her and me are both in the same situation, only it took me
> less effort to get there.

Ouch. On a different note, saw a bit of women's volleyball between the Brazilians and Italians today. Phwoar.

Mumbai Duck wrote:
> Oh, and leave 'Tweedle' alone
>
> She's mixing it with the best in the world in her chosen field while
> you (and the rest of us) sit on our asses in abject mediocrity.

--

Now you've gone and made me sad.

--


> And the cheap shots at peoples' appearance aren't really called for.
> I'm sure you're not so perfect yourself.

--

OK. But she still has a face like a horse. And if she doesn't get a medal then her and me are both in the same situation, only it took me less effort to get there.

As Barry Chuckle fell into the pool the microphone picked up his last ever words.

"it is ended" he said.

The other Chuckle simply said "to me too".

A Greek tragedy.

the sagacious one wrote:
> The sight of poor Barry Chukle floating in the shallow end, his arm
> bands as red as the water, will haunt me for ever.

I imagine their hair would be the only thing keeping their bullet-ridden corpses afloat. The Olympic Village is mourning tonight.

The sychronised men's diving is possibly the most homoerotic "sport" I've seen. Two guys in tight speedos perform girly twists and tumbles into a pool so they don't hurt themselves (real men would dive onto concrete) and then emerge from the pool like that bird from James Bond in the bikini. You know the one. The attractive one in the bikini. How many Bond girls have been attractive and wore bikins? Ok then, the one in Dr No.

I digress, the guys then proceeed to shower in full view of the camera/other competitors/the "crowd" and then towell themselves with a piece of material no bigger than a hanky.

Needless to say that Britain's 5m divers performed atrociously and got disqualified in the first round for taking too long to dive. The two brothers Chuckle, seemed to have some good sychronisation occuring on the board but after 10 minutes of "to me, to you, to me, to you" the judges ordered a sniper on the roof opposite, to make them plunge into the pool, with extreme predudice.

The sight of poor Barry Chukle floating in the shallow end, his arm bands as red as the water, will haunt me for ever.

I just find it hard to accept that we can fund these people for four years, or they get sponsored or whatever, and then they jump on metal boxes, or ride bikes into walls, and that's it - it's all over. These are our supposedly finest athletes, yet they can't navigate bends in roads. Still, at least we're not Romania. Saw last night they were doing that thing where they swing round the pole and some bloke missed it on the way down. Ouch. We didn't even have an entrant for that though, so technically the freshly-crippled man is better than us.

Mumbai Duck wrote:
> They're trying to get pool into the olympics.

Worse than that they're trying to get Darts into it.