Viewing Thread:
"I'm beginning to like the Olympics."

It's excellent, like a live version of Auntie's Sporting Bloomers. So far 'Great' Britain has managed to lose nearly every event, except for the badminton, and after 4 years of training, came second in the bombing competition. Then one of our most prized athletes jumped in a swimming pool and hit a camera (wtf!?), and proceeded to sob live on television, to millions of people, about how she's wasted 4 years of her life. *slow claps* you spend your life training for this one day, then crap your legs up. Better than that was the bike-riding-lady who rode into a wall. It's like there's been a huge mix-up and we sent our Special Olympics team in for the real thing.

The women's volleyball was pretty good though...

Stryke wrote:

> Give me a day and I'll be out there, uniting the nations and the
> noble sport of cross-country horse jumping by attempting the course
> on a sheep.

I think that you are onto something. The equestrian events are the only Olympic sports that feature animals apart from Clay pigeon shooting and Greyhound racing. You'd certainly win the crowd if you turned up on a diseased Donkey rescued from a sanctuary, which spent the whole of the dressage event urinating, defecating and rhuminating with equal abandon. The commentator would be in tears as they described the Donkey's, Ollie the Orphan, attempt for gold. "Even though he has alopecia and only three legs, this animal has proved that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, having only one eye itself doesn't seem to hinder him as he stands rather awkwardly in the ring, embracing the true spirit of the olympics. As for his rider, it's nice to see that even the dead get the chance to compete. People ask me if he can win. Of corpse he can".

Dirty. Heh.

To be honest, it's the horse thing that does it for me. WHy else would I be watching Dressage?

gerrid wrote:
> Stryke wrote:
> But the gymnast that they love annoys me. Tweedle, or something. She
> has a face like a dressage horse.
>
> Bet she's a right goer in the bedroom though.

--

You sound as if you speak from experience. I am instantly judging you as a serial stalker of young teenage gymnasts. You must live with this.

the sagacious one wrote:
> We've still not seen this year's hopeless "athlete" or
> competitor who represents their country because they don't have
> anyone [better] and humiliates themself by performing abysmally. Of
> course everyone then loves them and the commentator will latch onto
> this stating that "Borat has embraced the true Olympic
> spirit" as he trails in last in the marathon, in a time of three
> weeks and four days.

--

Give me a day and I'll be out there, uniting the nations and the noble sport of cross-country horse jumping by attempting the course on a sheep.

Stryke wrote:
> But the gymnast that they love annoys me. Tweedle, or something. She
> has a face like a dressage horse.

Bet she's a right goer in the bedroom though.

We've still not seen this year's hopeless "athlete" or competitor who represents their country because they don't have anyone [better] and humiliates themself by performing abysmally. Of course everyone then loves them and the commentator will latch onto this stating that "Borat has embraced the true Olympic spirit" as he trails in last in the marathon, in a time of three weeks and four days.

She's Welsh, so I find it hard to hate her.

But the gymnast that they love annoys me. Tweedle, or something. She has a face like a dressage horse. It's really disconcerting. I remember seeing an article about her on BBC South today ages ago, but I wasn't listening because I wanted Neighbours to start.

Bring back Olga, that's what I say.

Dressage is the most exciting, exhilarating Olympic event

"That was a superb change there"
"And a beautiful curve that's sure to score points"
"She's coming in for the extended canter now"
"She's exhibiting great control over her horse, just look at that half-canter"

Wonderful.

Also, did anyone hear that cycling lady talking about how she thnks "I deserve to win more than you" when she looks at her opponents? She was the most arrogant person I've EVER seen. She was also very very smug. And then she bombed hardcore.

I find it amusing to look at some dead-eyed presenter (who wishes he was in the studio instead of that annoying git from the holiday programmes) chatting to some dull riding person about how exciting that double-reverse ass-rein was that Fox-Toff-Pitt-The Fifth just managed to do in the dressage, which brings Britain into gold medal contention, or something.