Viewing Thread:
"How many goals will I score tonight?"

I'm playing 5 a side football later from 4 - 5 and hopefully I'll put loads of goals in.

So how many goals will I score?

The winner will receive a signed pair of nice sweaty boxers I'll be wearing whilst I score these goals.*

Place your bets now.

BBBAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIII

*This may be a lie

In which case, you lied.

For instance, I phoned someone up at work today:

"Hi, I'm calling from... yadda yadda... What profession do you work in?"

"Erm.. I'm a Professional Mechanic with a 300% profit"

"So you're a mechanic?"

"Yes..."

Hmm.

Oh for god's sake!!!!!!!

Here's the truth then - I do play for Celtic Under-14's but I am not a prolific goalscorer like I said. I have scored 14 goals in 15 games and play right midfield. I got the captains armband because the captain got injured and I have kept it since. I lost it recently because I broke my ankle and couldn't play and have still not got it back.

Now, for the love of God, will you guys get off my back?!

Azul wrote:
> 2. Only twelve but I am the captain of Celtic Under 14's.

Wow, thats impressive. Still id better not let my dad know i fraternise with you, he'd have a fit.

Wakka wrote:
> Well I suggest that you check the date of that website. December the
> 3rd, 2003. I wasn't playing for them then.

Erm what?
Well if you wernt playing for them then, then how the furk have you been playing for them for a whole season? If you were not playing for them in december, it means you've only had a MAXIMUM of half a season.

Continue digging Wakka........

"have had one offer from Aberdeen Pro Youth Under 14's last week."

You wouldn't ever, ever, ever get offered a legally binding contract at twelve, considering it's, er...illegal. And also, you wouldn't get offered a contract from another club at your level after only being there a year.

I said no as I:
1. Am the youngest player in my team and I still get a game every week.
2. Only twelve but I am the captain of Celtic Under 14's.

You moron. You became captain after being there a year?
I'm sure you did.
Christ almighty...

"I scored a hat-trick against Dunfermilne last week which takes my goals to games tally up to 40/31."

Oh my. Yet this other bloke has scored more goals than you? I really don't think so.

Well I suggest that you check the date of that website. December the 3rd, 2003. I wasn't playing for them then. I know Euan Moyes, Billy Guvenenar, David Wotherspoon and Michael Graham but I will ask who is Carlo Monti next time I am training. And yes, Michael Graham has scored more than me this season.

Im going to ask him when he's on next.

Heh, i notice Wakka avoided this thread when he was online a little earlier.

You're busted dood. Well and truly.

AfroJoe wrote:
> Yep, he's mentioned. Funny Wakka isn't, despite being a player that
> has scored 41 this season...

He's also their 12 year old captain, hmmmm, supposedly a month ago he was also 13. Wait a minute, that can't be right?

He's gone all quiet now...

And crew should be spelt with a trendy "k". Krew. See?