Viewing Thread:
"How many goals will I score tonight?"

I'm playing 5 a side football later from 4 - 5 and hopefully I'll put loads of goals in.

So how many goals will I score?

The winner will receive a signed pair of nice sweaty boxers I'll be wearing whilst I score these goals.*

Place your bets now.

BBBAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIII

*This may be a lie

Wakka, I must say it's wonderful to watch you flail around in panic as everyone else outsmarts you. You really should tell more lies sometime, it's brilliant to watch you fail in every aspect.

I pity you kiddo.

Wakka's Celtic record:

> I was awful in my first game and they said no.

> Later on in the season they called me up and said yes. 2 months after
> joining for Celtic I broke my wrist so they said I couldn't play for a
> few weeks.

> Then in my return game, a Dunfermline player (Andy Booth, I think his
> name was) hacked me and I broke my ankle.

Right-o.

> So here I am now, back in the team at last.

Indeed. But given the less than impressive track record that you've had with the club (above) and the fact that you joined half way through the season, how on earth did it work out to you being the first team captain?

Ashman wrote:
> Oooh, how fortunate is that. You join a mere two weeks after that
> site was updated.
>
> *jaw drops*

I hope they update the site soon so that I can prove to you that I do play for Celtic.

Ashman wrote:

> But wait, were you not friends with all those U14 people. Or was that
> another lie?

Not friends but I do know them. Sometimes we go up and train with them.

Ahaha, this is fantastic. Wakka, you really do know how to talk a load of crap.

Y'know.

My Carlo Monti tricked worked way too well....

I didn't think you'd fall for it...

Wakka wrote:
"Oh well I better let it all out now. You guys have annoyed me for long
enough so I am going to tell the total truth."

Great, so here comes another lie-ridden piece.

"I play for the Under-13's and am captain of them."

But wait, were you not friends with all those U14 people. Or was that another lie?

"I am the fourth oldest player in the team and I play out on the right wing. I have scored 14 goals in 15 games and joined in early January from my local club West Park United."

Oooh, how fortunate is that. You join a mere two weeks after that site was updated.

*jaw drops*

Oh well I better let it all out now. You guys have annoyed me for long enough so I am going to tell the total truth.

I play for the Under-13's and am captain of them. I am the fourth oldest player in the team and I play out on the right wing. I have scored 14 goals in 15 games and joined in early January from my local club West Park United. There I scored 40 odd goals a season and we won the league easily. For one of our pre-season games we played Rangers Pro Youth Under 12's and got demolished, 14-0. The next game we played Clyde U-12's and beat them 3-1. (I was played U-12's at that time) I scored a hat-trick so I got called up to Celtic to train. I was awful in my first game and they said no. Later on in the season they called me up and said yes. 2 months after joining for Celtic I broke my wrist so they said I couldn't play for a few weeks. Then in my return game, a Dunfermline player (Andy Booth, I think his name was) hacked me and I broke my ankle. So here I am now, back in the team at last.

1. Surely you'd play for the U12's.
2. You'd have to be a bloody footballing prodigy to be two years younger than your age group but captain the first team.

Well you'd be more likely to captain the U13's wouldn't you? And they'd most obviously choose a senior member who'd been there for a while.