Viewing Thread:
"Van Helsing"

Muuuuuuuuuuuuh.

Worst film I've seen in ages.

"I'm Hugh Jackman, and I can't remember my past! What an original concept for you to get your heads around!"
"I'm a CGI beast and pose almost no threat!"
[CGI beast dies]
"I'm Kate Beckinsale and I have a terrible accent. I love you already, Van Helsing. Sorry, Van Haaalssing."
"No time for romance, I've got to fend off this CGI dog and a big gay man pretending to be Dracula!"
"Mwahahahaaa! I am Dracula! Watch as I make the most sinister character ever created look like a member of the Gypsy Kings!"
"We're Dracula's brides, can't act and are annoying"
"I'm Faramir, and I've wandered into the wrong movie. Oh well, how about I do some slapstick and you let me go back to Peter Jackson. No?"
"I'm Frankenstein's Monster. I'm saaad and want out of this movie."
"I'm the Wolfman and serve no real purpose, other than to be CG."
"Quiet, you distracting monsters. I must kill Dracula because he keeps trying to have kids with his annoying wives, and then they'll have really annoying children which will also have really bad accents. Watch as I act out scenes as a third-rate Indiana Jones, with my girlish locks and rubbish hat! Die Dracula, die in a really underwhelming and computer-generated way!"
[lots of other CGI beasts die, along with the entire film-loving community's hopes for a decent monster movie]
"Come Faramir, let us ride into the sunset, towards the inevitable sequel and action figures!"

And the funny thing is we've all seen it and lined the fat cat's pockets with shiney golden nuggets of cash!

On the one hand you have superbly crafted action films such as Blade 2 or the Hulk, on the other you have films made for retards with stupid plots, dumb dialogue and crap acting.

Problem is you can't judge a film until you've seen it and if I believed what people say about some films, like the Hulk, I'd have missed out. The problem is that most people are stupid.

Yes, that's the problem, our genes are stupidifying us every [MTV] generation that we spawn.

I'm really not suprised didn't the makers of 'The Mummy' do this film?
As soon as I heard that in the advert I knew it would be pants.

Mr Snuggly wrote:
> Van Helsing = Worse than Underworld
-----

Really? Jesus...

Is it what could be desribed as a toungue-in-cheek action film, because mostly they are crap, if you are going to be funny, be funny, if youre trying to be serious then be serious, but dont try and do both because it doesnt work.
How much did they spend on it !!!

Nope, sorry, I don't buy the whole 'but what did you expect?' argument. Just because something is an action film, doesn't mean it can't be halfway intelligent. Die Hard is an action film. The Matrix is an action film. Raiders of the Lost Ark is an action film. All with great action, memorable characters and a decent story.

Van Helsing had none of those, it was a CGI sh itfest with characters I didn't care whether they lived or died. It's a prime example of lazy filmmaking, and it grates with me when people say 'it's an action film, what more do you want?' Filmmaking by numbers ie. taking popular elements from numerous films in the mistaken belief that spazzing them all together will make for a good film.

And the reason I went to see it was I wanted to see for my self whether it was really as bad as everyone said it was going to be. I'm more than capable of making up my own mind whether a film sucks or not, I'm not one of those morons who goes along with the general consensus.

Van Helsing = Worse than Underworld

$150m budget and it still bored me to tears. You could have paid Paul Ross that much to dance like a small girl on a hotplate for two hours, that would have been much more entertaining.

Its all your own bloody fault if you went to this movie in a hope that it would be 'good' (probably not the best word). I enjoyed it because I didn't look for the non-exisistent character development and/or plot. People need to stop expecting every movie to be as deep and meaningful as the boring s**t that always scores big at the Oscars. We need more movies like this, the ones that don't make you think and are made for the purpose of pure entertaintment.

Rikimaru Dark wrote:
> I think no C.G.I fight is memorable exept for the first matrix.

Which fight would that be?

Pah, vampires.
I can explain away vampires in one simple paragraph.

Mr Snuggly wrote:
> Are you Paul Ross?

No, not me.

I'm just expressing my views, and my opinion, just like you was.