Viewing Thread:
"Forever Me"

Forever Me

I'm in a state of depression. At a crossroads at which each path looks bleak and dank.They always say to be yourself but that is what they say and i am not one of them.
I could ignore who i am and continue down my original path after all change is hard.I long to see the end of my time to lie alone and know that it is over, that there is nothing more that i have to do. But that is a long way off and all though i long for the end i must wait, i will not shorten the time it takes it to come. To be my self would be bliss i could for once stop hiding, i would be free. But they would not like that for i am not one of them.
So i hide i push my true self down and cover it in layers of a reflected personality. When they are happy i will be happy, when they are sad i will be sad. Maybe one day the part of me that is me will burn out, the flicker of soul will extingush and i will truely be one of them. But if it will not die if i am to be me for the rest of my existance what then? They know i am not one of them they sense it. I am not one of them.
I push everyone away so that they do not see my soul, the true me but it does not always work. When the walls weaken and the true me escapes they do not like it. I am the enemy. They wish to hunt me down and stamp out the fire that burns within me, but when they leave and I am nothing but ashes the fire rekindles itself and the walls rebuild themselves and i will remain forever me.
I am not one of them.

You know what could help? A bit of retail therapy - head to ebay :-D

Just incase anyone was wandering i'm still here and although my life is still s**t and nothings changed for some reason i feel better... so i just want to say thanks to everyone

Aren't you then succumbing to society and showing that you're easily amused and curable.

Jeez

And you don't get attention using that method either.

cheer up it could be worse, when i get depressed i watch a dvd

peter kay-live at the bolton albert halls.

You are not a natural follower, when you try to be it will show and they will attack you for being false, the only way out is to be yourself, anything else is a fraud.
We are not all social wonders(especially not in here) some people can put their own thought's to one side and follow, you cannot.
Either they will accept you in all your wonderful weirdness or you will find others similar, there is no possible balancing act, you are one or the other.
The first thing you need is enough strength in who you are not to fold when you are questioned about your difference.

I'll check out your thread here and do my best to encourage and help you, Deathskitten.

thank you i'll try. talk to you later

Deathskitten wrote:
> I've always been slightly depressed but lately it's gotten a helluva
> alot worse i hate being depressed but i have no one to talk to. I'm
> gonna go now so if any one wants to say anything to me say it now
> cause i won't be bak on till Thursday

Basically between then and now, try making a list. It sounds corny but it might just work.

Make a list of everything that's making you depressed in life, it might be extensive but that doesn't matter - I'll try and help you overcome it. I've been badly depressed before but I got over it, it took a long time, granted, but I'm happy with life now. Take care of yourself until then and dont let life get to you.

I wouldn't like Kyle to be the police negotiater if I ever stood on the roof of a building with suicidal tendancys....

Me: I'm gonna jump!

Kyle: Hurry up biotch

loki wrote:
> Which part of the following symbol: ;) - didn't make it clear that my
> post was light-hearted?

What the heck is that?
>
> But seriously, saying 'if you want to die, do it' may reasonably be
> perceived as unhelpful if directed at someone who turned out to be
> genuinely suicidal. Dont'ya think?

I edited my post and took that bit off for exactly that reason.