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Following the recent horrific bombing of rush-hour trains in Spain, President George W Bush gave an historic press conference outside of Camp David where he had retreated for the week to do jigsaws and potato-paintings of tanks.
Standing sombrely safely within the camp, President Bush began his speech, pausing only for dramatic effect and the correct pronunciations of really big words through his ear-piece.
“Ladies and Generalmen, what happened in France is a terrible, terrible act of despicable terror. We show our support and solidarity with that brave country by doing absolutely nothing and privately using this as an excuse to ramp up the Home Protection Act, which gives us powers to look into your brains with big space lasers and see if you are a communist. But rest assured, Al-Queda is to blame. Not ETA or other minor separatist terror groups operating for almost 40 years. Nope, it’s Al-Queda without doubt. I have here some intelligence that proves, beyond any pail of a doubt, that those evil Arabs did it.”
(at this point, it should be noted that President Bush showed an impressively thick sheaf of papers, which he wiggled aloft like a newborn baby. But a baby made of paper and badly-researched intelligence from 12 year old thesis reports downloaded with Kazak)
“So you can see, our detention of people that couldn’t run away fast enough in Afghanhoundiran is entirely justified. Now, I’m aware that major media outlets around the world are criticising Camp X-Ray for torturing people held without charge for over two years. But the actions of evil killer Muslims today prove that surely it’s safer to snatch and torture innocent civilians away from your prying, do-goody eyes than it is to simply let this happen.
Ok, so it did happen despite the moral outrage and international condemnation of the tactics and treatments in Guantanemo. And I grant you, it would appear that the terror attacks in Germany today do indicate that our actions in detaining people without charge indefinitely would actually appear to be doing nothing at all to combat terrorism. But surely you can see how it might be a good thing, and today that is what this is all about.
Al-Queda is an evil, barbaric group and I can conclusively report that they are to blame for everything in the entire world. Take it from me and pa, Hussein was only the first. Many many more former CIA-backed dictators will be brought to justice and whisked to godknows where.
So, Al-Queda does all the bad things in the world. And we suggest that you stay indoors and watch quality entertainment shows on Fox Network and drink lots and lots of alcohol to keep you stupid and oblivious. And should you feel the need to fear and loathe anybody not White Anglo-Saxon, then we shall assist you by creating lots and lots of big movies with Muslims, Arabs and darkies as the villains.
You have nothing to fear but evil-eyed immigrants who wish to do you harm, steal your grandmother and possibly want to borrow your hedge-strimmer and never give it back.”
Following this press conference, most major news networks decided to agree with the unofficial suggestion from government to not report the recently-freed innocent British civilians held without charge and subjected to mental/physical torture. They also agreed to never ever mention Saddam Hussein, indeed a recent poll shows that 87% of the public have completely forgotten about the now-disappeared former “Most Evil Man in The World”.
Chuck Deadweight, 43, said “Hell, ah figured that Hoo-sayn was dead. We saw that eye-raki being yanked from the ground like a weed and stuff, but since then there’s been nothin’ on the toob ‘cept war movies and adverts for beer”
Prime Minster Tony Blair was asked for his opinion, and offered little of interest in between that insincere, crocodile-smile he employs when feeling pressured.
He also refused to comment on the vandal that broke into the House of Commons and scrawled on the despatch box “Blair is a c###” (as in today’s Daily Mail, Express and Times).
Al-Queda spokesman, Neruh-Al-Jihad expressed outrage at the attacks in Spain.
“It sucks man, we’re getting blamed for that and everything else. I swear, we’re the bogeyman now. Used to be, after September 11th, you heard Al-Queda and were afraid. But now we’re responsible for everything from obesity in Americans to the decline in quality of recent Simpson episodes, people are losing the fear and respect we crave. It’s like, the boy who cried Camel and stuff. Pretty soon, Al-Queda will mean nothing, and we’ll have to strike with even more horrific attacks just to keep our membership in the Evil Groups Club”
When asked if the constant linking of Al-Queda to every single little incident anywhere on the planet would mean that, eventually, people thought of them as little more than a footnote in history, instead of the threat that they are, President Bush had this to say:
”Remember the Ayotollah? He was evil for a bit. As was Gadaffi. We used to hate those guys, but after a couple decades of insurgence, US-backed death squads and the rigging of elections to ensure a West-friendly dictator was installed, we like them now. Trust me, in 10 years from now, we’ll be inviting Bin-Laden back to America to chat to Rumsfeld again, like we did with Hussein in the 1980s. Right during his gassing period, strangely! It’s a wacky world I tells ya!”
A poll conducted with the British public to ascertain their feelings on the “War” on terror revealed that the average Briton was more concerned over who would win Big Brother and what happened in Eastenders.
Sociology Professor Dr. Hfuurrhhurrr was quoted as saying “Classic Ostrich syndrome, with the head in the sand and pretending everything is ok, things will never change. As long as it isn’t happening on their doorstep, nobody seems to care really.”
Indeed, it would appear that people are only too happy to read scare stories in tabloid newspapers and view strangers with fear and suspicion.
The Daily Mail knew exactly who is to blame in a 3-page pullout entitled
”Gays! Evil single mum muslim gays die die die”.
This article played up to the stereotype of the illegal immigrant smuggling themselves over inside a banana to move in next door to your granny and try to tempt her into Islam with a nice bit of fish (probably a BOMBFISH!!!!) and also managed to suggest that teenagers having sex were part of the problem.
As it stands, the recent attacks in Spain are being laid firmly at the door of Al-Queda. Whilst this does provide a decent excuse to bump the story of tortured, innocent civilians from the national conscience, it also allows a climate of bigotry, misunderstanding, hate and fear to prevail.
But don’t worry, because Eastenders may be going 5 nights a week soon.
So stay indoors, consume the opiate programming and be safe in the knowledge that your government is combating the war on terror.
By encouraging ignorance, rewarding stupidity and from refusing to even consider spending the billions they do on weapons on educating and helping the poor, young members of a culture that views The West with suspicion, hatred and fear.
A cycle that will never end as long as you keep swallowing lies and excuses instead of demanding action.
Standing sombrely safely within the camp, President Bush began his speech, pausing only for dramatic effect and the correct pronunciations of really big words through his ear-piece.
“Ladies and Generalmen, what happened in France is a terrible, terrible act of despicable terror. We show our support and solidarity with that brave country by doing absolutely nothing and privately using this as an excuse to ramp up the Home Protection Act, which gives us powers to look into your brains with big space lasers and see if you are a communist. But rest assured, Al-Queda is to blame. Not ETA or other minor separatist terror groups operating for almost 40 years. Nope, it’s Al-Queda without doubt. I have here some intelligence that proves, beyond any pail of a doubt, that those evil Arabs did it.”
(at this point, it should be noted that President Bush showed an impressively thick sheaf of papers, which he wiggled aloft like a newborn baby. But a baby made of paper and badly-researched intelligence from 12 year old thesis reports downloaded with Kazak)
“So you can see, our detention of people that couldn’t run away fast enough in Afghanhoundiran is entirely justified. Now, I’m aware that major media outlets around the world are criticising Camp X-Ray for torturing people held without charge for over two years. But the actions of evil killer Muslims today prove that surely it’s safer to snatch and torture innocent civilians away from your prying, do-goody eyes than it is to simply let this happen.
Ok, so it did happen despite the moral outrage and international condemnation of the tactics and treatments in Guantanemo. And I grant you, it would appear that the terror attacks in Germany today do indicate that our actions in detaining people without charge indefinitely would actually appear to be doing nothing at all to combat terrorism. But surely you can see how it might be a good thing, and today that is what this is all about.
Al-Queda is an evil, barbaric group and I can conclusively report that they are to blame for everything in the entire world. Take it from me and pa, Hussein was only the first. Many many more former CIA-backed dictators will be brought to justice and whisked to godknows where.
So, Al-Queda does all the bad things in the world. And we suggest that you stay indoors and watch quality entertainment shows on Fox Network and drink lots and lots of alcohol to keep you stupid and oblivious. And should you feel the need to fear and loathe anybody not White Anglo-Saxon, then we shall assist you by creating lots and lots of big movies with Muslims, Arabs and darkies as the villains.
You have nothing to fear but evil-eyed immigrants who wish to do you harm, steal your grandmother and possibly want to borrow your hedge-strimmer and never give it back.”
Following this press conference, most major news networks decided to agree with the unofficial suggestion from government to not report the recently-freed innocent British civilians held without charge and subjected to mental/physical torture. They also agreed to never ever mention Saddam Hussein, indeed a recent poll shows that 87% of the public have completely forgotten about the now-disappeared former “Most Evil Man in The World”.
Chuck Deadweight, 43, said “Hell, ah figured that Hoo-sayn was dead. We saw that eye-raki being yanked from the ground like a weed and stuff, but since then there’s been nothin’ on the toob ‘cept war movies and adverts for beer”
Prime Minster Tony Blair was asked for his opinion, and offered little of interest in between that insincere, crocodile-smile he employs when feeling pressured.
He also refused to comment on the vandal that broke into the House of Commons and scrawled on the despatch box “Blair is a c###” (as in today’s Daily Mail, Express and Times).
Al-Queda spokesman, Neruh-Al-Jihad expressed outrage at the attacks in Spain.
“It sucks man, we’re getting blamed for that and everything else. I swear, we’re the bogeyman now. Used to be, after September 11th, you heard Al-Queda and were afraid. But now we’re responsible for everything from obesity in Americans to the decline in quality of recent Simpson episodes, people are losing the fear and respect we crave. It’s like, the boy who cried Camel and stuff. Pretty soon, Al-Queda will mean nothing, and we’ll have to strike with even more horrific attacks just to keep our membership in the Evil Groups Club”
When asked if the constant linking of Al-Queda to every single little incident anywhere on the planet would mean that, eventually, people thought of them as little more than a footnote in history, instead of the threat that they are, President Bush had this to say:
”Remember the Ayotollah? He was evil for a bit. As was Gadaffi. We used to hate those guys, but after a couple decades of insurgence, US-backed death squads and the rigging of elections to ensure a West-friendly dictator was installed, we like them now. Trust me, in 10 years from now, we’ll be inviting Bin-Laden back to America to chat to Rumsfeld again, like we did with Hussein in the 1980s. Right during his gassing period, strangely! It’s a wacky world I tells ya!”
A poll conducted with the British public to ascertain their feelings on the “War” on terror revealed that the average Briton was more concerned over who would win Big Brother and what happened in Eastenders.
Sociology Professor Dr. Hfuurrhhurrr was quoted as saying “Classic Ostrich syndrome, with the head in the sand and pretending everything is ok, things will never change. As long as it isn’t happening on their doorstep, nobody seems to care really.”
Indeed, it would appear that people are only too happy to read scare stories in tabloid newspapers and view strangers with fear and suspicion.
The Daily Mail knew exactly who is to blame in a 3-page pullout entitled
”Gays! Evil single mum muslim gays die die die”.
This article played up to the stereotype of the illegal immigrant smuggling themselves over inside a banana to move in next door to your granny and try to tempt her into Islam with a nice bit of fish (probably a BOMBFISH!!!!) and also managed to suggest that teenagers having sex were part of the problem.
As it stands, the recent attacks in Spain are being laid firmly at the door of Al-Queda. Whilst this does provide a decent excuse to bump the story of tortured, innocent civilians from the national conscience, it also allows a climate of bigotry, misunderstanding, hate and fear to prevail.
But don’t worry, because Eastenders may be going 5 nights a week soon.
So stay indoors, consume the opiate programming and be safe in the knowledge that your government is combating the war on terror.
By encouraging ignorance, rewarding stupidity and from refusing to even consider spending the billions they do on weapons on educating and helping the poor, young members of a culture that views The West with suspicion, hatred and fear.
A cycle that will never end as long as you keep swallowing lies and excuses instead of demanding action.
Page:
Belldandy wrote:
> Why do you persist with the weight related comments Light?
Hi, aren't you the gutbuster who thought it was amusing to make jokes about my former career as a solicitor? Now if I'm honest, I can't claim that as a full justification cos it was me who quit and if I'd got offended at the weak and unoriginal jibes you can manage, I wouldn't be much of a man. However, I did think that perhaps I'd take the opportunity to show you that petty and personal insults work both ways. You reap what you sow my dear boy, you reap what you sow.
>
> You can't exactly whine at me for commenting on Goatboy's Uncle when
> you persist in that, because I'll bet money you think my weight is
> solely down to overeating, which is where you would be wrong.
Right...insulting someone cos their uncle was killed in 9/11....thats comparable to being overweight is it?
>
> Hence you're making fun of someone whose weight is a result of an, at
> the time unknown, side effect of a poweful drug used to treat a
> childhood disease. The effect being that weight loss is made scores
> more difficult than it is for a person who was not treated with that
> drug, amongst other things.
Can you here the violins playing? Tell me, do you use your poor diseased childhood as an excuse to be so utterly cowardly and obnoxious? Guess what? Everyone has their problems; Timmargh is in a wheelchair; didn't stop you belittling him for using cannabis to ease his pain. I'm afraid I can't take your heartfelt exhortations seriously because they're motivated solely by the "Leave me alone so I can continue to throw insults at everyone else" rather than the "What you say about me is awful and it makes me realise I shouldn't wade in to someone else with whatever comes into my head".
>
> In other words, SHUT THE FECK UP
Hmmm....for someone who is just 'playing everyone', you're getting awfully upset about this, aren't you? I'll tell you what Bell, I'll make you a deal; I'll only throw in the personal insults when your behaviour crosses the line into bullying cowardice, 'kay?
> Why do you persist with the weight related comments Light?
Hi, aren't you the gutbuster who thought it was amusing to make jokes about my former career as a solicitor? Now if I'm honest, I can't claim that as a full justification cos it was me who quit and if I'd got offended at the weak and unoriginal jibes you can manage, I wouldn't be much of a man. However, I did think that perhaps I'd take the opportunity to show you that petty and personal insults work both ways. You reap what you sow my dear boy, you reap what you sow.
>
> You can't exactly whine at me for commenting on Goatboy's Uncle when
> you persist in that, because I'll bet money you think my weight is
> solely down to overeating, which is where you would be wrong.
Right...insulting someone cos their uncle was killed in 9/11....thats comparable to being overweight is it?
>
> Hence you're making fun of someone whose weight is a result of an, at
> the time unknown, side effect of a poweful drug used to treat a
> childhood disease. The effect being that weight loss is made scores
> more difficult than it is for a person who was not treated with that
> drug, amongst other things.
Can you here the violins playing? Tell me, do you use your poor diseased childhood as an excuse to be so utterly cowardly and obnoxious? Guess what? Everyone has their problems; Timmargh is in a wheelchair; didn't stop you belittling him for using cannabis to ease his pain. I'm afraid I can't take your heartfelt exhortations seriously because they're motivated solely by the "Leave me alone so I can continue to throw insults at everyone else" rather than the "What you say about me is awful and it makes me realise I shouldn't wade in to someone else with whatever comes into my head".
>
> In other words, SHUT THE FECK UP
Hmmm....for someone who is just 'playing everyone', you're getting awfully upset about this, aren't you? I'll tell you what Bell, I'll make you a deal; I'll only throw in the personal insults when your behaviour crosses the line into bullying cowardice, 'kay?
I think you'll find Al-Queda had nothing to do with all those atrocities.
IB is guilty.
IB is guilty.
Belldandy wrote:
> Hence you're making fun of someone whose weight is a result of an, at
> the time unknown, side effect of a poweful drug used to treat a
> childhood disease. The effect being that weight loss is made scores
> more difficult than it is for a person who was not treated with that
> drug, amongst other things.
Out of interest.......why? If you aren't still on it, and it's had time to remove itself from your system, surely you're no different to anyone else in that position who was put there through overeating?
> Hence you're making fun of someone whose weight is a result of an, at
> the time unknown, side effect of a poweful drug used to treat a
> childhood disease. The effect being that weight loss is made scores
> more difficult than it is for a person who was not treated with that
> drug, amongst other things.
Out of interest.......why? If you aren't still on it, and it's had time to remove itself from your system, surely you're no different to anyone else in that position who was put there through overeating?
Why do you persist with the weight related comments Light?
You can't exactly whine at me for commenting on Goatboy's Uncle when you persist in that, because I'll bet money you think my weight is solely down to overeating, which is where you would be wrong.
Hence you're making fun of someone whose weight is a result of an, at the time unknown, side effect of a poweful drug used to treat a childhood disease. The effect being that weight loss is made scores more difficult than it is for a person who was not treated with that drug, amongst other things.
In other words, SHUT THE FECK UP
You can't exactly whine at me for commenting on Goatboy's Uncle when you persist in that, because I'll bet money you think my weight is solely down to overeating, which is where you would be wrong.
Hence you're making fun of someone whose weight is a result of an, at the time unknown, side effect of a poweful drug used to treat a childhood disease. The effect being that weight loss is made scores more difficult than it is for a person who was not treated with that drug, amongst other things.
In other words, SHUT THE FECK UP
Belldandy wrote:
>
> You wish. You assume I'm still being serious and bothering with any
> effort...because from now on it's mostly provocation and playing
> you...you're that predictable, especially now you have your monkey
> Hedfix...
Bwah ha ha hahaaaaaa! You're playing me eh? Not making any effort? Heh. You know, if you weren't the cholesterol rich 'tard who spent a whole day wailing about IB insulting you, and if you weren't spending all your spare time posting responses that you ask to be taken seriously, then you'd maybe have a chance of being believed. As is, your long LONG history of wailing cowardice and trying to pretend that a thread where you've been humiliated (ie. all of 'em) 'doesn't matter' kinda shows this rather desperate attempt for what it is; a plea from a bully to be allowed to carry on bullying.
Sorry tubbs, but it doesn't wash. More to the point, what kind of masochist 'plays' someone in such a way that they end up being very badly verbally raped?
>
> You wish. You assume I'm still being serious and bothering with any
> effort...because from now on it's mostly provocation and playing
> you...you're that predictable, especially now you have your monkey
> Hedfix...
Bwah ha ha hahaaaaaa! You're playing me eh? Not making any effort? Heh. You know, if you weren't the cholesterol rich 'tard who spent a whole day wailing about IB insulting you, and if you weren't spending all your spare time posting responses that you ask to be taken seriously, then you'd maybe have a chance of being believed. As is, your long LONG history of wailing cowardice and trying to pretend that a thread where you've been humiliated (ie. all of 'em) 'doesn't matter' kinda shows this rather desperate attempt for what it is; a plea from a bully to be allowed to carry on bullying.
Sorry tubbs, but it doesn't wash. More to the point, what kind of masochist 'plays' someone in such a way that they end up being very badly verbally raped?
Light wrote:
> Hedfix wrote:
>
>
> So now it appears that Bell has been reduced to the jester of the
> life forum that people will poke every-so-often to hear him say
> cretinous, yet unconsciously amusing, things.
>
>
> Man...is it that obvious to everyone now?
>
> Does baiting a 'tard until his mouth foams and his nappy fills make
> me a bad man?
You wish. You assume I'm still being serious and bothering with any effort...because from now on it's mostly provocation and playing you...you're that predictable, especially now you have your monkey Hedfix...
> Hedfix wrote:
>
>
> So now it appears that Bell has been reduced to the jester of the
> life forum that people will poke every-so-often to hear him say
> cretinous, yet unconsciously amusing, things.
>
>
> Man...is it that obvious to everyone now?
>
> Does baiting a 'tard until his mouth foams and his nappy fills make
> me a bad man?
You wish. You assume I'm still being serious and bothering with any effort...because from now on it's mostly provocation and playing you...you're that predictable, especially now you have your monkey Hedfix...
not everything, but most things. bl**dy gits!
Goatboy wrote:
> Man, I should write for The Daily Mail
But do you know anything about little black dresses, or onions shaped like Lord Of the Rings characters, or even dogs in fancy dress? Honestly, the stories in that paper are so Victorian, it makes Richard and Judy look like well-informed, up to the minute geniuses.
And Micheal Hanlon, "Science Editor", since when was Atlantis, The Bible Code, UFOs and a lost race of "Super-beings", science? I love the way he's talked his job up to make him sound like a proper journalist.
> Man, I should write for The Daily Mail
But do you know anything about little black dresses, or onions shaped like Lord Of the Rings characters, or even dogs in fancy dress? Honestly, the stories in that paper are so Victorian, it makes Richard and Judy look like well-informed, up to the minute geniuses.
And Micheal Hanlon, "Science Editor", since when was Atlantis, The Bible Code, UFOs and a lost race of "Super-beings", science? I love the way he's talked his job up to make him sound like a proper journalist.
Bagsie the 100th post!!!!eleven
Man, I should write for The Daily Mail with the amount of red-faced misconception I can summon from right-wing tools that fail to grasp the actual content of an idea.
Man, I should write for The Daily Mail with the amount of red-faced misconception I can summon from right-wing tools that fail to grasp the actual content of an idea.
Hedfix wrote:
>
> So now it appears that Bell has been reduced to the jester of the
> life forum that people will poke every-so-often to hear him say
> cretinous, yet unconsciously amusing, things.
Man...is it that obvious to everyone now?
Does baiting a 'tard until his mouth foams and his nappy fills make me a bad man?
>
> So now it appears that Bell has been reduced to the jester of the
> life forum that people will poke every-so-often to hear him say
> cretinous, yet unconsciously amusing, things.
Man...is it that obvious to everyone now?
Does baiting a 'tard until his mouth foams and his nappy fills make me a bad man?
Page: