The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
I'll admit straight out the gate that I'm biased, I love the original Star Wars trilogy like an illegitimate film baby.
They're being released on DVD later this year and I'll buy them - Special Edition or not, it doesn't matter.
Star Wars holds a place in my heart, my childhood and my memories. The defining movies of my generation, and they'll always be that way. No amount of tinkering or rejigging by Lucas can change that.
Why?
Because Star Wars was the first film I ever saw. And the first time I'd ever been to the cinema.
I was 4 yrs old, Saturday morning and my dad took me to the cinema to introduce me to films. This was when The Odeon in Harlow was a gigantic, single screen place with an upper balcony, the left-hand side reserved for smokers and a woman would come down after the adverts with her little tray and you could buy Ki-Ora and Cornettos before the film started.
They played a cartoon first, I had my drink and settled back.
The curtains drew back and everything went dark.
Then *that* music started and the opening crawl came up (dad read it to me in case I missed any).
Then a rumble started from the back of the cinema, I remember turning round and looking to see what it was.
And then that Star Destroyer hoved into view. It just slowly appeared and kept appearing for what seemed like an age. I'd never ever seen anything like it before. Then the corridor and the rebels running down, the silent anticipation of what was to come.
I was glued to my seat, saucer eyed and slack-jawed.
The door blows in and Stormtroopers come out, then from the smoke? The greatest screen villain in my history:
Darth Vader. Strolling out from the smoke, dressed in black, breathing strangely and strangling a rebel. Terrified me beyond words.
You can't imagine the effect that film had on a 4yr old Goatboy. No experience like it ever before, nothing to compare it to, a vocabulary too small to explain. I made my dad take me back 5 times to watch it, and I had all the toys. I loved that world completely.
I wanted to be Luke Skywalker - the innocent naive kid that wanted to be a Star Pilot at the Academy, wanted to have adventures and see things. We all wanted that. We wanted Chewbacca as a friend, droids as cool toys and we wanted Landspeeders, lightsabers and The Death Star.
It unlocked my imagination and gave birth to a love of movies in me.
You had the classic villain, Darth Vader. You had the shining good guy Luke Skywalker, you had the Princess, the nice old man Ben Kenobi etc.
This was a world we'd never even thought could exist before.
And then 4 years later came The Empire Strikes Back.
You better believe me and my mates were at the front of the queue.
We were 8 now, and much more adult and grown up. We'd all seen Star Wars dozens of times between us (this was before the birth of VHS remember, you couldn't see them anywhere else *but* the cinema) and we knew the story.
We settled back, almost bursting with excitement and we were taken to that world again.
Hoth? Snow? Luke attacked by a Yeti and left for dead? NO WAY! But here comes Han Solo and Chewie, just as we remembered them to save him.
His mates came looking for him, they'd never let their friend die. We understood that and would do the same, we swore to each other.
AT-AT Walkers? Yoda? Ben Kenobi back? This was so much more than we ever hoped.
And then *that* moment. The greatest twist and so unexpected. We had no idea it was coming and there was just no way it could be.
"I am your Father"
????????Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's dad????????
Han Solo frozen and taken away by Boba Fett????????
Luke with a robot hand??????
And Empire ends.
We had to wait another 4 years to find out what was happening.
12 years old. The final chapter.
Jabba The Hut, Leia is Luke's sister? Speederbike chases, Ewoks (meh), Yoda dies? Han & Leia get it together? The Emperor dead, Vader's face revealed, reconciliation between father & son. The whole gang back together, The Empire defeated, the universe is calm and safe.
Faultless.
Movies that we had began to watch aged 4. Characters we grew up with and wanted to be so badly. Dialogue we knew and quoted in the playground.
Han Solo, Stormtroopers, Jabba, The Cantina, Greedo, the trash-compactor, the Death Star finale, the trench-run, AT-AT walkers, Millenium Falcon, X-Wings, Darth Vader, Han Solo in carbonite, "I love you" "I know", Speederbikes.
All these things have become cinema iconography and etched in the memory of those that saw them at the cinema as kids, formative cinema years and introductions to movies and sci-fi.
Absolutely incomparable to anything else since, Star Wars led the way for summer blockbusters and invented the whole genre.
And then 22 years later after Star Wars came out, Lucas announces he's making another 3.
Millions of 25-30yr olds instantly arc streams of fanboy silk-love into the ether.
We see stills, hear snippets, watch the music video, see the toys appearing, see the posters months in advance. We hear rumours:
Obi-Wan is back, Yoda is there, the Droids.
This will be the coolest thing since I was 4 years old.
The Phantom Menace.
THAT music blares, the opening crawl. Idiot grin on my face, I'm 4 again. I'm right back there seeing it for the first time.
The ship flies over again...I'm ready for this after 22 years of waiting, I want this to be good.
...ummm.....
This sounds like Star Wars, it looks like Star Wars. But it's not Star Wars, something's wrong.
Where's the banter between characters?
Where's the loveable rogue?
Where's the innocent, lusting for excitement everyday kid?
Where's the villain?
Where's the stormtroopers?
Where are the set pieces?
Where is the memorable dialogue?
I see earnest cheesy "But Master" "No, you are young" from what are supposed to be Jedi Knights. Where's the "Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper"? Where's "Ah that conversation was getting boring anyway"? Where's "I don't care what you smell, get down there you big furball?"
There's no snappy wit, there's no jokes, there's no cynicism.
There's some crap about trade blockades, some pasty faced man-voiced Queen saying "I will nard give in do them Vice Chansellorrrr"
There's some annoying little kid that shouts "Wizards!" in a space battle.
There's no C3P0 and R2D2 banter, there's nothing in the dialogue.
There's no villain here. I saw Darth Maul in the trailer, I want Darth Maul. I want to feel like these guys are in danger, mortal danger from The Empire. Eh? There's no Empire????? What the fu-
No Stormtroopers? Just these tossy battle-droids that say "Roger Roger"?
Jar-Jar? A comedy character? What is this?
No wait, here's Darth Maul. Now it's gonna get good!...oh, he's dead.
And Schindler-Gon Jin is dead. Except he's not, it's exactly what happened to Obi-Wan in Star Wars.
Maaaan, this sucks. I don't care about some little 7yr old.
There's nobody here to identify with. Adults had Han Solo, the cocky space pirate who mocked everything. Kids had Luke who wanted adventure. Little girls had Princess Leia.
What's here? A little moppet, Renton-Kenobi and Leon's assassin helper in Pirot the Clown make-up sounding like a transexual?
This is awful.
Attack of The Clones.
I can't even go into the bowel-loosingly shiteness of that film.
"I'm Boba Fett, well reknowned Bounty Hunter. Here, another bounty hunter, kill Amidala for me whilst I do nothing."
"I'm Darth Vader. Why can't I touch her boobs master? Wah wah wah, this is so unfair, I like, hate you and stuff"
"I'm Saruman, see me fight Yoda in the one good scene even remotely echoing the first 3 movies"
These new movies blow. They're not Star Wars.
"Oh well Lucas meant for it to be in this order"
Really? Wrong.
If I have kids, they'll see Episode 4 first, as it was originally.
Why?
Because otherwise what do you have?
You reach Episode 3 and you know the entire backstory.
Star Wars Episode 4 starts and you think "There's Luke Skywalker, son of Annakin who was good once but fell to the Dark Side and is now Darth Vader under command of The Emperor"
Obi-Wan talks to Luke about his father and hands him his lightsabre and you think "I know all this already, his dad is Darth Vader, get on with it"
Empire holds no revelations.
"Search your feelings Luke, you know it to be true"
"No"
"I am your father"
"Never!"
Audience "Well done Luke, we knew this 4 movies ago you spaz"
And what really annoys me?
I'll go watch Episode 3 and I'll buy them all on DVD because the first 3 hold such powerful memories for me.
Damn you Lucas.
They're being released on DVD later this year and I'll buy them - Special Edition or not, it doesn't matter.
Star Wars holds a place in my heart, my childhood and my memories. The defining movies of my generation, and they'll always be that way. No amount of tinkering or rejigging by Lucas can change that.
Why?
Because Star Wars was the first film I ever saw. And the first time I'd ever been to the cinema.
I was 4 yrs old, Saturday morning and my dad took me to the cinema to introduce me to films. This was when The Odeon in Harlow was a gigantic, single screen place with an upper balcony, the left-hand side reserved for smokers and a woman would come down after the adverts with her little tray and you could buy Ki-Ora and Cornettos before the film started.
They played a cartoon first, I had my drink and settled back.
The curtains drew back and everything went dark.
Then *that* music started and the opening crawl came up (dad read it to me in case I missed any).
Then a rumble started from the back of the cinema, I remember turning round and looking to see what it was.
And then that Star Destroyer hoved into view. It just slowly appeared and kept appearing for what seemed like an age. I'd never ever seen anything like it before. Then the corridor and the rebels running down, the silent anticipation of what was to come.
I was glued to my seat, saucer eyed and slack-jawed.
The door blows in and Stormtroopers come out, then from the smoke? The greatest screen villain in my history:
Darth Vader. Strolling out from the smoke, dressed in black, breathing strangely and strangling a rebel. Terrified me beyond words.
You can't imagine the effect that film had on a 4yr old Goatboy. No experience like it ever before, nothing to compare it to, a vocabulary too small to explain. I made my dad take me back 5 times to watch it, and I had all the toys. I loved that world completely.
I wanted to be Luke Skywalker - the innocent naive kid that wanted to be a Star Pilot at the Academy, wanted to have adventures and see things. We all wanted that. We wanted Chewbacca as a friend, droids as cool toys and we wanted Landspeeders, lightsabers and The Death Star.
It unlocked my imagination and gave birth to a love of movies in me.
You had the classic villain, Darth Vader. You had the shining good guy Luke Skywalker, you had the Princess, the nice old man Ben Kenobi etc.
This was a world we'd never even thought could exist before.
And then 4 years later came The Empire Strikes Back.
You better believe me and my mates were at the front of the queue.
We were 8 now, and much more adult and grown up. We'd all seen Star Wars dozens of times between us (this was before the birth of VHS remember, you couldn't see them anywhere else *but* the cinema) and we knew the story.
We settled back, almost bursting with excitement and we were taken to that world again.
Hoth? Snow? Luke attacked by a Yeti and left for dead? NO WAY! But here comes Han Solo and Chewie, just as we remembered them to save him.
His mates came looking for him, they'd never let their friend die. We understood that and would do the same, we swore to each other.
AT-AT Walkers? Yoda? Ben Kenobi back? This was so much more than we ever hoped.
And then *that* moment. The greatest twist and so unexpected. We had no idea it was coming and there was just no way it could be.
"I am your Father"
????????Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's dad????????
Han Solo frozen and taken away by Boba Fett????????
Luke with a robot hand??????
And Empire ends.
We had to wait another 4 years to find out what was happening.
12 years old. The final chapter.
Jabba The Hut, Leia is Luke's sister? Speederbike chases, Ewoks (meh), Yoda dies? Han & Leia get it together? The Emperor dead, Vader's face revealed, reconciliation between father & son. The whole gang back together, The Empire defeated, the universe is calm and safe.
Faultless.
Movies that we had began to watch aged 4. Characters we grew up with and wanted to be so badly. Dialogue we knew and quoted in the playground.
Han Solo, Stormtroopers, Jabba, The Cantina, Greedo, the trash-compactor, the Death Star finale, the trench-run, AT-AT walkers, Millenium Falcon, X-Wings, Darth Vader, Han Solo in carbonite, "I love you" "I know", Speederbikes.
All these things have become cinema iconography and etched in the memory of those that saw them at the cinema as kids, formative cinema years and introductions to movies and sci-fi.
Absolutely incomparable to anything else since, Star Wars led the way for summer blockbusters and invented the whole genre.
And then 22 years later after Star Wars came out, Lucas announces he's making another 3.
Millions of 25-30yr olds instantly arc streams of fanboy silk-love into the ether.
We see stills, hear snippets, watch the music video, see the toys appearing, see the posters months in advance. We hear rumours:
Obi-Wan is back, Yoda is there, the Droids.
This will be the coolest thing since I was 4 years old.
The Phantom Menace.
THAT music blares, the opening crawl. Idiot grin on my face, I'm 4 again. I'm right back there seeing it for the first time.
The ship flies over again...I'm ready for this after 22 years of waiting, I want this to be good.
...ummm.....
This sounds like Star Wars, it looks like Star Wars. But it's not Star Wars, something's wrong.
Where's the banter between characters?
Where's the loveable rogue?
Where's the innocent, lusting for excitement everyday kid?
Where's the villain?
Where's the stormtroopers?
Where are the set pieces?
Where is the memorable dialogue?
I see earnest cheesy "But Master" "No, you are young" from what are supposed to be Jedi Knights. Where's the "Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper"? Where's "Ah that conversation was getting boring anyway"? Where's "I don't care what you smell, get down there you big furball?"
There's no snappy wit, there's no jokes, there's no cynicism.
There's some crap about trade blockades, some pasty faced man-voiced Queen saying "I will nard give in do them Vice Chansellorrrr"
There's some annoying little kid that shouts "Wizards!" in a space battle.
There's no C3P0 and R2D2 banter, there's nothing in the dialogue.
There's no villain here. I saw Darth Maul in the trailer, I want Darth Maul. I want to feel like these guys are in danger, mortal danger from The Empire. Eh? There's no Empire????? What the fu-
No Stormtroopers? Just these tossy battle-droids that say "Roger Roger"?
Jar-Jar? A comedy character? What is this?
No wait, here's Darth Maul. Now it's gonna get good!...oh, he's dead.
And Schindler-Gon Jin is dead. Except he's not, it's exactly what happened to Obi-Wan in Star Wars.
Maaaan, this sucks. I don't care about some little 7yr old.
There's nobody here to identify with. Adults had Han Solo, the cocky space pirate who mocked everything. Kids had Luke who wanted adventure. Little girls had Princess Leia.
What's here? A little moppet, Renton-Kenobi and Leon's assassin helper in Pirot the Clown make-up sounding like a transexual?
This is awful.
Attack of The Clones.
I can't even go into the bowel-loosingly shiteness of that film.
"I'm Boba Fett, well reknowned Bounty Hunter. Here, another bounty hunter, kill Amidala for me whilst I do nothing."
"I'm Darth Vader. Why can't I touch her boobs master? Wah wah wah, this is so unfair, I like, hate you and stuff"
"I'm Saruman, see me fight Yoda in the one good scene even remotely echoing the first 3 movies"
These new movies blow. They're not Star Wars.
"Oh well Lucas meant for it to be in this order"
Really? Wrong.
If I have kids, they'll see Episode 4 first, as it was originally.
Why?
Because otherwise what do you have?
You reach Episode 3 and you know the entire backstory.
Star Wars Episode 4 starts and you think "There's Luke Skywalker, son of Annakin who was good once but fell to the Dark Side and is now Darth Vader under command of The Emperor"
Obi-Wan talks to Luke about his father and hands him his lightsabre and you think "I know all this already, his dad is Darth Vader, get on with it"
Empire holds no revelations.
"Search your feelings Luke, you know it to be true"
"No"
"I am your father"
"Never!"
Audience "Well done Luke, we knew this 4 movies ago you spaz"
And what really annoys me?
I'll go watch Episode 3 and I'll buy them all on DVD because the first 3 hold such powerful memories for me.
Damn you Lucas.
Page:
I'll admit straight out the gate that I'm biased, I love the original Star Wars trilogy like an illegitimate film baby.
They're being released on DVD later this year and I'll buy them - Special Edition or not, it doesn't matter.
Star Wars holds a place in my heart, my childhood and my memories. The defining movies of my generation, and they'll always be that way. No amount of tinkering or rejigging by Lucas can change that.
Why?
Because Star Wars was the first film I ever saw. And the first time I'd ever been to the cinema.
I was 4 yrs old, Saturday morning and my dad took me to the cinema to introduce me to films. This was when The Odeon in Harlow was a gigantic, single screen place with an upper balcony, the left-hand side reserved for smokers and a woman would come down after the adverts with her little tray and you could buy Ki-Ora and Cornettos before the film started.
They played a cartoon first, I had my drink and settled back.
The curtains drew back and everything went dark.
Then *that* music started and the opening crawl came up (dad read it to me in case I missed any).
Then a rumble started from the back of the cinema, I remember turning round and looking to see what it was.
And then that Star Destroyer hoved into view. It just slowly appeared and kept appearing for what seemed like an age. I'd never ever seen anything like it before. Then the corridor and the rebels running down, the silent anticipation of what was to come.
I was glued to my seat, saucer eyed and slack-jawed.
The door blows in and Stormtroopers come out, then from the smoke? The greatest screen villain in my history:
Darth Vader. Strolling out from the smoke, dressed in black, breathing strangely and strangling a rebel. Terrified me beyond words.
You can't imagine the effect that film had on a 4yr old Goatboy. No experience like it ever before, nothing to compare it to, a vocabulary too small to explain. I made my dad take me back 5 times to watch it, and I had all the toys. I loved that world completely.
I wanted to be Luke Skywalker - the innocent naive kid that wanted to be a Star Pilot at the Academy, wanted to have adventures and see things. We all wanted that. We wanted Chewbacca as a friend, droids as cool toys and we wanted Landspeeders, lightsabers and The Death Star.
It unlocked my imagination and gave birth to a love of movies in me.
You had the classic villain, Darth Vader. You had the shining good guy Luke Skywalker, you had the Princess, the nice old man Ben Kenobi etc.
This was a world we'd never even thought could exist before.
And then 4 years later came The Empire Strikes Back.
You better believe me and my mates were at the front of the queue.
We were 8 now, and much more adult and grown up. We'd all seen Star Wars dozens of times between us (this was before the birth of VHS remember, you couldn't see them anywhere else *but* the cinema) and we knew the story.
We settled back, almost bursting with excitement and we were taken to that world again.
Hoth? Snow? Luke attacked by a Yeti and left for dead? NO WAY! But here comes Han Solo and Chewie, just as we remembered them to save him.
His mates came looking for him, they'd never let their friend die. We understood that and would do the same, we swore to each other.
AT-AT Walkers? Yoda? Ben Kenobi back? This was so much more than we ever hoped.
And then *that* moment. The greatest twist and so unexpected. We had no idea it was coming and there was just no way it could be.
"I am your Father"
????????Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's dad????????
Han Solo frozen and taken away by Boba Fett????????
Luke with a robot hand??????
And Empire ends.
We had to wait another 4 years to find out what was happening.
12 years old. The final chapter.
Jabba The Hut, Leia is Luke's sister? Speederbike chases, Ewoks (meh), Yoda dies? Han & Leia get it together? The Emperor dead, Vader's face revealed, reconciliation between father & son. The whole gang back together, The Empire defeated, the universe is calm and safe.
Faultless.
Movies that we had began to watch aged 4. Characters we grew up with and wanted to be so badly. Dialogue we knew and quoted in the playground.
Han Solo, Stormtroopers, Jabba, The Cantina, Greedo, the trash-compactor, the Death Star finale, the trench-run, AT-AT walkers, Millenium Falcon, X-Wings, Darth Vader, Han Solo in carbonite, "I love you" "I know", Speederbikes.
All these things have become cinema iconography and etched in the memory of those that saw them at the cinema as kids, formative cinema years and introductions to movies and sci-fi.
Absolutely incomparable to anything else since, Star Wars led the way for summer blockbusters and invented the whole genre.
And then 22 years later after Star Wars came out, Lucas announces he's making another 3.
Millions of 25-30yr olds instantly arc streams of fanboy silk-love into the ether.
We see stills, hear snippets, watch the music video, see the toys appearing, see the posters months in advance. We hear rumours:
Obi-Wan is back, Yoda is there, the Droids.
This will be the coolest thing since I was 4 years old.
The Phantom Menace.
THAT music blares, the opening crawl. Idiot grin on my face, I'm 4 again. I'm right back there seeing it for the first time.
The ship flies over again...I'm ready for this after 22 years of waiting, I want this to be good.
...ummm.....
This sounds like Star Wars, it looks like Star Wars. But it's not Star Wars, something's wrong.
Where's the banter between characters?
Where's the loveable rogue?
Where's the innocent, lusting for excitement everyday kid?
Where's the villain?
Where's the stormtroopers?
Where are the set pieces?
Where is the memorable dialogue?
I see earnest cheesy "But Master" "No, you are young" from what are supposed to be Jedi Knights. Where's the "Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper"? Where's "Ah that conversation was getting boring anyway"? Where's "I don't care what you smell, get down there you big furball?"
There's no snappy wit, there's no jokes, there's no cynicism.
There's some crap about trade blockades, some pasty faced man-voiced Queen saying "I will nard give in do them Vice Chansellorrrr"
There's some annoying little kid that shouts "Wizards!" in a space battle.
There's no C3P0 and R2D2 banter, there's nothing in the dialogue.
There's no villain here. I saw Darth Maul in the trailer, I want Darth Maul. I want to feel like these guys are in danger, mortal danger from The Empire. Eh? There's no Empire????? What the fu-
No Stormtroopers? Just these tossy battle-droids that say "Roger Roger"?
Jar-Jar? A comedy character? What is this?
No wait, here's Darth Maul. Now it's gonna get good!...oh, he's dead.
And Schindler-Gon Jin is dead. Except he's not, it's exactly what happened to Obi-Wan in Star Wars.
Maaaan, this sucks. I don't care about some little 7yr old.
There's nobody here to identify with. Adults had Han Solo, the cocky space pirate who mocked everything. Kids had Luke who wanted adventure. Little girls had Princess Leia.
What's here? A little moppet, Renton-Kenobi and Leon's assassin helper in Pirot the Clown make-up sounding like a transexual?
This is awful.
Attack of The Clones.
I can't even go into the bowel-loosingly shiteness of that film.
"I'm Boba Fett, well reknowned Bounty Hunter. Here, another bounty hunter, kill Amidala for me whilst I do nothing."
"I'm Darth Vader. Why can't I touch her boobs master? Wah wah wah, this is so unfair, I like, hate you and stuff"
"I'm Saruman, see me fight Yoda in the one good scene even remotely echoing the first 3 movies"
These new movies blow. They're not Star Wars.
"Oh well Lucas meant for it to be in this order"
Really? Wrong.
If I have kids, they'll see Episode 4 first, as it was originally.
Why?
Because otherwise what do you have?
You reach Episode 3 and you know the entire backstory.
Star Wars Episode 4 starts and you think "There's Luke Skywalker, son of Annakin who was good once but fell to the Dark Side and is now Darth Vader under command of The Emperor"
Obi-Wan talks to Luke about his father and hands him his lightsabre and you think "I know all this already, his dad is Darth Vader, get on with it"
Empire holds no revelations.
"Search your feelings Luke, you know it to be true"
"No"
"I am your father"
"Never!"
Audience "Well done Luke, we knew this 4 movies ago you spaz"
And what really annoys me?
I'll go watch Episode 3 and I'll buy them all on DVD because the first 3 hold such powerful memories for me.
Damn you Lucas.
They're being released on DVD later this year and I'll buy them - Special Edition or not, it doesn't matter.
Star Wars holds a place in my heart, my childhood and my memories. The defining movies of my generation, and they'll always be that way. No amount of tinkering or rejigging by Lucas can change that.
Why?
Because Star Wars was the first film I ever saw. And the first time I'd ever been to the cinema.
I was 4 yrs old, Saturday morning and my dad took me to the cinema to introduce me to films. This was when The Odeon in Harlow was a gigantic, single screen place with an upper balcony, the left-hand side reserved for smokers and a woman would come down after the adverts with her little tray and you could buy Ki-Ora and Cornettos before the film started.
They played a cartoon first, I had my drink and settled back.
The curtains drew back and everything went dark.
Then *that* music started and the opening crawl came up (dad read it to me in case I missed any).
Then a rumble started from the back of the cinema, I remember turning round and looking to see what it was.
And then that Star Destroyer hoved into view. It just slowly appeared and kept appearing for what seemed like an age. I'd never ever seen anything like it before. Then the corridor and the rebels running down, the silent anticipation of what was to come.
I was glued to my seat, saucer eyed and slack-jawed.
The door blows in and Stormtroopers come out, then from the smoke? The greatest screen villain in my history:
Darth Vader. Strolling out from the smoke, dressed in black, breathing strangely and strangling a rebel. Terrified me beyond words.
You can't imagine the effect that film had on a 4yr old Goatboy. No experience like it ever before, nothing to compare it to, a vocabulary too small to explain. I made my dad take me back 5 times to watch it, and I had all the toys. I loved that world completely.
I wanted to be Luke Skywalker - the innocent naive kid that wanted to be a Star Pilot at the Academy, wanted to have adventures and see things. We all wanted that. We wanted Chewbacca as a friend, droids as cool toys and we wanted Landspeeders, lightsabers and The Death Star.
It unlocked my imagination and gave birth to a love of movies in me.
You had the classic villain, Darth Vader. You had the shining good guy Luke Skywalker, you had the Princess, the nice old man Ben Kenobi etc.
This was a world we'd never even thought could exist before.
And then 4 years later came The Empire Strikes Back.
You better believe me and my mates were at the front of the queue.
We were 8 now, and much more adult and grown up. We'd all seen Star Wars dozens of times between us (this was before the birth of VHS remember, you couldn't see them anywhere else *but* the cinema) and we knew the story.
We settled back, almost bursting with excitement and we were taken to that world again.
Hoth? Snow? Luke attacked by a Yeti and left for dead? NO WAY! But here comes Han Solo and Chewie, just as we remembered them to save him.
His mates came looking for him, they'd never let their friend die. We understood that and would do the same, we swore to each other.
AT-AT Walkers? Yoda? Ben Kenobi back? This was so much more than we ever hoped.
And then *that* moment. The greatest twist and so unexpected. We had no idea it was coming and there was just no way it could be.
"I am your Father"
????????Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's dad????????
Han Solo frozen and taken away by Boba Fett????????
Luke with a robot hand??????
And Empire ends.
We had to wait another 4 years to find out what was happening.
12 years old. The final chapter.
Jabba The Hut, Leia is Luke's sister? Speederbike chases, Ewoks (meh), Yoda dies? Han & Leia get it together? The Emperor dead, Vader's face revealed, reconciliation between father & son. The whole gang back together, The Empire defeated, the universe is calm and safe.
Faultless.
Movies that we had began to watch aged 4. Characters we grew up with and wanted to be so badly. Dialogue we knew and quoted in the playground.
Han Solo, Stormtroopers, Jabba, The Cantina, Greedo, the trash-compactor, the Death Star finale, the trench-run, AT-AT walkers, Millenium Falcon, X-Wings, Darth Vader, Han Solo in carbonite, "I love you" "I know", Speederbikes.
All these things have become cinema iconography and etched in the memory of those that saw them at the cinema as kids, formative cinema years and introductions to movies and sci-fi.
Absolutely incomparable to anything else since, Star Wars led the way for summer blockbusters and invented the whole genre.
And then 22 years later after Star Wars came out, Lucas announces he's making another 3.
Millions of 25-30yr olds instantly arc streams of fanboy silk-love into the ether.
We see stills, hear snippets, watch the music video, see the toys appearing, see the posters months in advance. We hear rumours:
Obi-Wan is back, Yoda is there, the Droids.
This will be the coolest thing since I was 4 years old.
The Phantom Menace.
THAT music blares, the opening crawl. Idiot grin on my face, I'm 4 again. I'm right back there seeing it for the first time.
The ship flies over again...I'm ready for this after 22 years of waiting, I want this to be good.
...ummm.....
This sounds like Star Wars, it looks like Star Wars. But it's not Star Wars, something's wrong.
Where's the banter between characters?
Where's the loveable rogue?
Where's the innocent, lusting for excitement everyday kid?
Where's the villain?
Where's the stormtroopers?
Where are the set pieces?
Where is the memorable dialogue?
I see earnest cheesy "But Master" "No, you are young" from what are supposed to be Jedi Knights. Where's the "Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper"? Where's "Ah that conversation was getting boring anyway"? Where's "I don't care what you smell, get down there you big furball?"
There's no snappy wit, there's no jokes, there's no cynicism.
There's some crap about trade blockades, some pasty faced man-voiced Queen saying "I will nard give in do them Vice Chansellorrrr"
There's some annoying little kid that shouts "Wizards!" in a space battle.
There's no C3P0 and R2D2 banter, there's nothing in the dialogue.
There's no villain here. I saw Darth Maul in the trailer, I want Darth Maul. I want to feel like these guys are in danger, mortal danger from The Empire. Eh? There's no Empire????? What the fu-
No Stormtroopers? Just these tossy battle-droids that say "Roger Roger"?
Jar-Jar? A comedy character? What is this?
No wait, here's Darth Maul. Now it's gonna get good!...oh, he's dead.
And Schindler-Gon Jin is dead. Except he's not, it's exactly what happened to Obi-Wan in Star Wars.
Maaaan, this sucks. I don't care about some little 7yr old.
There's nobody here to identify with. Adults had Han Solo, the cocky space pirate who mocked everything. Kids had Luke who wanted adventure. Little girls had Princess Leia.
What's here? A little moppet, Renton-Kenobi and Leon's assassin helper in Pirot the Clown make-up sounding like a transexual?
This is awful.
Attack of The Clones.
I can't even go into the bowel-loosingly shiteness of that film.
"I'm Boba Fett, well reknowned Bounty Hunter. Here, another bounty hunter, kill Amidala for me whilst I do nothing."
"I'm Darth Vader. Why can't I touch her boobs master? Wah wah wah, this is so unfair, I like, hate you and stuff"
"I'm Saruman, see me fight Yoda in the one good scene even remotely echoing the first 3 movies"
These new movies blow. They're not Star Wars.
"Oh well Lucas meant for it to be in this order"
Really? Wrong.
If I have kids, they'll see Episode 4 first, as it was originally.
Why?
Because otherwise what do you have?
You reach Episode 3 and you know the entire backstory.
Star Wars Episode 4 starts and you think "There's Luke Skywalker, son of Annakin who was good once but fell to the Dark Side and is now Darth Vader under command of The Emperor"
Obi-Wan talks to Luke about his father and hands him his lightsabre and you think "I know all this already, his dad is Darth Vader, get on with it"
Empire holds no revelations.
"Search your feelings Luke, you know it to be true"
"No"
"I am your father"
"Never!"
Audience "Well done Luke, we knew this 4 movies ago you spaz"
And what really annoys me?
I'll go watch Episode 3 and I'll buy them all on DVD because the first 3 hold such powerful memories for me.
Damn you Lucas.
Ha.
And you summed it all up perfectly with your title really.
I feel that the new fandangled hi-techness of the new Star Wars spoils it quite a bit.
The new ones are crap - I went to the cinema to see the Phantom Menace, and I hated it. Seriously, seriously hated it.
It was just crap.
Ah well.
And you summed it all up perfectly with your title really.
I feel that the new fandangled hi-techness of the new Star Wars spoils it quite a bit.
The new ones are crap - I went to the cinema to see the Phantom Menace, and I hated it. Seriously, seriously hated it.
It was just crap.
Ah well.
Oh, and I haven't bothered with the Clones malarky yet.
And I'm glad about that.
And I'm glad about that.
It's a good point that, I'd never thought of it - if you were to watch star wars for the first time, and watched it in 'chronological' order, the original trilogies plot 'twists' would be completely wasted, and the whole thing wouldn't have half the impact it normally does.
I can see you hate the prequels. Episode 1 was bad. Episode 2 I enjoyed despite the Disney like cheesiness in places. You should reserve judgement for Episode 3 though - it may surprise us all.
I can see you hate the prequels. Episode 1 was bad. Episode 2 I enjoyed despite the Disney like cheesiness in places. You should reserve judgement for Episode 3 though - it may surprise us all.
And if I may be so bold, I believe Lucas had the right idea with trying to 'evolve' the series. Sure, he's gone the wrong way about it in many ways - stupid CGI rastafarian creatures, annoying bratty little kids, stone-faced Jedi and over the top Disney battles where nobody actually gets hurt. But I would rather they at least tried to modernize the Star Wars legacy - tried to push the boundaries and widen the scale of the illustrated universe, rather than simply relying on hundreds of men in plastic suits, and the familiar sight of a dark emperor. They are trying to weave in a few sub-plots to keep fans interested, like they did with the Ewoks in the original trilogy. Of course, those stupid Gungan things that live under the sea were hardly as interesting as the Ewoks.
I love the original trilogy as much as you do, it is in my view one of the most important sets of films of our generation, but if we continue on with it the way it was, relying on cheesy one liners, 80s ideals and the aforementioned guys in rubber or plastic suits, it'll soon become tedious. The spectacular CGI sequences in the newer films are the way forward in my opinion, it just seems that Lucas got so caught up with making huge monsters and large scale battles, that he forgot to add some spice to the scripts - I mean, Darth Maul never said a word, and was in the film for a grand total of about 5 minutes! How can you have a main villain that is only seen briefly before he is slaughtered? It is though the Star Wars name was just slapped on a CGI fest.
Episode 2 was truer to the original trilogy - there were many different and interesting scenarios (bar the stupid stomach churning romance rubbish), and the plot moved along at a credible pace. The villain was far more akin to Vadar - Dooku was credibly evil and believably dangerous. Jango Fett got wasted far too easily, but don't forget what happened to his son - knocked almost by accident into that huge mouth. In my view both their deaths were a complete waste of interesting characters.
C3PO and R2 just shouldn't have been included at all in the newer films. There is only so much of that camp banter you can handle, and in Episode 2 it got cringeworthy to the point of severe irritation. No need for them, at all.
If you ask me, they would have been far better dispensing with the whole idea of having prequels, and simply gone far back in time, to the times KOTOR was set in, hence avoiding all connections with characters in the original trilogy, and allowing for a far more diverse and unpredictable storyline.
I still heartily look forward to Episode 3 though and am a bit gutted deep down that Lucas decided not to keep making them. I'd rather see a poorer quality star wars than no star wars at all.
I love the original trilogy as much as you do, it is in my view one of the most important sets of films of our generation, but if we continue on with it the way it was, relying on cheesy one liners, 80s ideals and the aforementioned guys in rubber or plastic suits, it'll soon become tedious. The spectacular CGI sequences in the newer films are the way forward in my opinion, it just seems that Lucas got so caught up with making huge monsters and large scale battles, that he forgot to add some spice to the scripts - I mean, Darth Maul never said a word, and was in the film for a grand total of about 5 minutes! How can you have a main villain that is only seen briefly before he is slaughtered? It is though the Star Wars name was just slapped on a CGI fest.
Episode 2 was truer to the original trilogy - there were many different and interesting scenarios (bar the stupid stomach churning romance rubbish), and the plot moved along at a credible pace. The villain was far more akin to Vadar - Dooku was credibly evil and believably dangerous. Jango Fett got wasted far too easily, but don't forget what happened to his son - knocked almost by accident into that huge mouth. In my view both their deaths were a complete waste of interesting characters.
C3PO and R2 just shouldn't have been included at all in the newer films. There is only so much of that camp banter you can handle, and in Episode 2 it got cringeworthy to the point of severe irritation. No need for them, at all.
If you ask me, they would have been far better dispensing with the whole idea of having prequels, and simply gone far back in time, to the times KOTOR was set in, hence avoiding all connections with characters in the original trilogy, and allowing for a far more diverse and unpredictable storyline.
I still heartily look forward to Episode 3 though and am a bit gutted deep down that Lucas decided not to keep making them. I'd rather see a poorer quality star wars than no star wars at all.
I agree if you watch them from Episode 1 - 6 you wont get much from the original trilogy. I think when most of us do become parents the first introduction to Star Wars for them will be with Episode 4.
I watched Episode 2 last night and have a few questions.
When Anakin went to his home planet, his mum married some guy, I assume the boy was his son from a previous marriage. The young couple, are they Luke's aunt and uncle in Episode 4? If so why didn't they recognise C3PO if they had lived with him for many years and why did I get the impression from C3PO in Episode 4 that he had never been to this planet despite being made there and living there for 10 odd years.
If Count Dooku was suprised that they had the clone army, why didn't the bounty hunter tell them before hand? I would have thought that as soon as Obi-wan found the place he would have told them straight away.
Why did the bounty hunter get a bounty hunter who got a robot who got these insects to try and kill Padmé? I would have just crashed one of those flying things into her room.
I watched Episode 2 last night and have a few questions.
When Anakin went to his home planet, his mum married some guy, I assume the boy was his son from a previous marriage. The young couple, are they Luke's aunt and uncle in Episode 4? If so why didn't they recognise C3PO if they had lived with him for many years and why did I get the impression from C3PO in Episode 4 that he had never been to this planet despite being made there and living there for 10 odd years.
If Count Dooku was suprised that they had the clone army, why didn't the bounty hunter tell them before hand? I would have thought that as soon as Obi-wan found the place he would have told them straight away.
Why did the bounty hunter get a bounty hunter who got a robot who got these insects to try and kill Padmé? I would have just crashed one of those flying things into her room.
kittworld wrote:
> I agree if you watch them from Episode 1 - 6 you wont get much from
> the original trilogy. I think when most of us do become parents the
> first introduction to Star Wars for them will be with Episode 4.
>
> I watched Episode 2 last night and have a few questions.
The main question I have is how could Lucas screw up a perfectly good series of movies (although the more I look at the Ewoks, the more I hate 'em)
Seriously though, if Annakin *built* 3p0 and both 3p0 and d2 had met annakin before "A new hope", why isn't it ever mentioned in episodes 4 - 6.
I know its because 1 - 3 were not made, but its a case of Lucas digging himself into a hole for no good or apparent reason.
> I agree if you watch them from Episode 1 - 6 you wont get much from
> the original trilogy. I think when most of us do become parents the
> first introduction to Star Wars for them will be with Episode 4.
>
> I watched Episode 2 last night and have a few questions.
The main question I have is how could Lucas screw up a perfectly good series of movies (although the more I look at the Ewoks, the more I hate 'em)
Seriously though, if Annakin *built* 3p0 and both 3p0 and d2 had met annakin before "A new hope", why isn't it ever mentioned in episodes 4 - 6.
I know its because 1 - 3 were not made, but its a case of Lucas digging himself into a hole for no good or apparent reason.
One thing I did like what Lucas did with the film was to make the entire Star Wars universe more 'real' so to speak. It gave the world some sort of structure, the entire politics of a galaxy trying to keep some order about itself, while the Palpatine steals in through the system and begins to set up the foundations of Empire we know from the original series, plus it also goes some way to explain why exactly he has such a huge army of totally loyal and seemingly identical soldiers. One problem is that I think Lucas has too much story to tell and not enough screen time to tell it in.
From what I hear, the original movies are being remastered for DVD, but with additional graphics being spliced in to add a hint of consistancy between the entire series. Things such as the geez who is playing Anakin having his face superimposed onto the old Vaders face when he has his mask removed in ROTJ.
From what I hear, the original movies are being remastered for DVD, but with additional graphics being spliced in to add a hint of consistancy between the entire series. Things such as the geez who is playing Anakin having his face superimposed onto the old Vaders face when he has his mask removed in ROTJ.
Goatboy wrote:
> I'll admit straight out the gate that I'm biased, I love the original
> Star Wars trilogy like an illegitimate film baby.
Excellent post Goaty, Took me back to the first time I saw the SW movies, the anticipation of waiting for the second and third episodes, through to the utter letdown of the new ones, particularly Ep1.
The "Spaced" sitcom did it best IMHO, when Tim is burning his star wars memorabilia to the strains of that haunting tune used in the movies. It pretty much summed up how Lucas had raped a fond childhood memory.
> I'll admit straight out the gate that I'm biased, I love the original
> Star Wars trilogy like an illegitimate film baby.
Excellent post Goaty, Took me back to the first time I saw the SW movies, the anticipation of waiting for the second and third episodes, through to the utter letdown of the new ones, particularly Ep1.
The "Spaced" sitcom did it best IMHO, when Tim is burning his star wars memorabilia to the strains of that haunting tune used in the movies. It pretty much summed up how Lucas had raped a fond childhood memory.
I only seen The Phantom Menace don't want to see anymore
Page: