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I've just posted this on b3ta, for their "Brushes with the law" feature. I'll share it here.
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I ended up COMPLETELY blootered. Seriously and absolutely minging. We were walking back to a mates house to continue the festivities and I thought it would be a grand idea to kick over one of the plastic warning bars around a gas pipe that was being worked on, just as a copper car was coming past. Cue coppers braking to a halt and reversing. One of my female friends (I couldn’t speak) explained to the policeman that I had just fallen into the bar, to which the copper replied, “If he can pick it back up, we’ll let him off”.
I couldn’t. I was so p'ssed I fell into the hole. I gave it another try, and then sort of muttered “hvsssmmamammsmams” and started staggering off down the road. Mr Policeman was having none of this and promptly nicked me, put me in the back of the car and explained to my friends that I was spending the night in the local cop Hilton. No problem.
I was remarkably calm about all this, until I started accusing the two coppers of nicking my tabs. Of course, I’d smoked the lot before being arrested. They said they hadn’t. I said they had. This escalated until I was *screaming* abuse at them. Once we were in the station and I was being charged, one of the friends I was with previously rang up and explained that he was a trainee solicitor, and could he speak to me. I was put on the phone and started calling the desk sergeant worse that s****, screaming down the phone really, to which he said, “Put the desk sergeant back on please would you?” as it was obvious I was in no state to hold a civil conversation.
Things got worse when I then started accusing them of nicking all my personal belonging’s including a gold ring I got off a grandparent for a 21st birthday. Bundled into the cell, I shouted and hurled abuse whilst sitting on the thin mattress directly opposite the cell door until I passed out appox 2 hours later.
I have to stress here that I was completely out of control. By this time I could walk, but it seemed as if the gin had created a weird bypass of all calm thought and tapped into the primitive anger centre of my brain. I was being an a*******. An utter, utter a*******. I have nothing against the law at all usually, and respect and admire the job they do but this time, I was a dervish.
At 6am I woke up, saw where I was and thought “Oh. HELL. What’s happened here?” Asking for a drink of water I got the “Ohhhh, you’re awake now are you?” in a really sweet and understanding voice.
The crunch to all this? My father has worked in the police force for over 30 years, and is well know to all around the region. As soon as they knew my surname they bunged me up in a cell, but in the morning it was “You aren’t XXXXX’s son are you?” to which they full well knew I was and I had to listen for 45 minutes about how disappointed my father would be, and how he’s so well respected to all, a well liked man in the brotherhood of police etc etc etc. While I was being printed, photographed and cationed.
To top it all off, I got home ready to explain what had happened to dad, and someone from his station had recognised me. And gave him a phone call. And he let me know about how disgusted he was at me.
Somehow, A good kicking would have been so much better.
I have never drank as much gin in my life again…………….
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I ended up COMPLETELY blootered. Seriously and absolutely minging. We were walking back to a mates house to continue the festivities and I thought it would be a grand idea to kick over one of the plastic warning bars around a gas pipe that was being worked on, just as a copper car was coming past. Cue coppers braking to a halt and reversing. One of my female friends (I couldn’t speak) explained to the policeman that I had just fallen into the bar, to which the copper replied, “If he can pick it back up, we’ll let him off”.
I couldn’t. I was so p'ssed I fell into the hole. I gave it another try, and then sort of muttered “hvsssmmamammsmams” and started staggering off down the road. Mr Policeman was having none of this and promptly nicked me, put me in the back of the car and explained to my friends that I was spending the night in the local cop Hilton. No problem.
I was remarkably calm about all this, until I started accusing the two coppers of nicking my tabs. Of course, I’d smoked the lot before being arrested. They said they hadn’t. I said they had. This escalated until I was *screaming* abuse at them. Once we were in the station and I was being charged, one of the friends I was with previously rang up and explained that he was a trainee solicitor, and could he speak to me. I was put on the phone and started calling the desk sergeant worse that s****, screaming down the phone really, to which he said, “Put the desk sergeant back on please would you?” as it was obvious I was in no state to hold a civil conversation.
Things got worse when I then started accusing them of nicking all my personal belonging’s including a gold ring I got off a grandparent for a 21st birthday. Bundled into the cell, I shouted and hurled abuse whilst sitting on the thin mattress directly opposite the cell door until I passed out appox 2 hours later.
I have to stress here that I was completely out of control. By this time I could walk, but it seemed as if the gin had created a weird bypass of all calm thought and tapped into the primitive anger centre of my brain. I was being an a*******. An utter, utter a*******. I have nothing against the law at all usually, and respect and admire the job they do but this time, I was a dervish.
At 6am I woke up, saw where I was and thought “Oh. HELL. What’s happened here?” Asking for a drink of water I got the “Ohhhh, you’re awake now are you?” in a really sweet and understanding voice.
The crunch to all this? My father has worked in the police force for over 30 years, and is well know to all around the region. As soon as they knew my surname they bunged me up in a cell, but in the morning it was “You aren’t XXXXX’s son are you?” to which they full well knew I was and I had to listen for 45 minutes about how disappointed my father would be, and how he’s so well respected to all, a well liked man in the brotherhood of police etc etc etc. While I was being printed, photographed and cationed.
To top it all off, I got home ready to explain what had happened to dad, and someone from his station had recognised me. And gave him a phone call. And he let me know about how disgusted he was at me.
Somehow, A good kicking would have been so much better.
I have never drank as much gin in my life again…………….
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MoJoJoJo wrote:
> If you're under 18 they have to let your parents know, if you're over
> - they have NO right to do anything other than point and laugh.
Quite possibly, but my father works in a police station, and its possible that the copper in question was off duty and rang as a friend of the family. Loads of ways to bend the rules.
Dunno exactly how it happened, but it did.
> If you're under 18 they have to let your parents know, if you're over
> - they have NO right to do anything other than point and laugh.
Quite possibly, but my father works in a police station, and its possible that the copper in question was off duty and rang as a friend of the family. Loads of ways to bend the rules.
Dunno exactly how it happened, but it did.
"To top it all off, I got home ready to explain what had happened to dad, and someone from his station had recognised me. And gave him a phone call"
I'm sure that's illegal. When I was arrested, because I was over 18 I was allowed the option to phone somebody, or to not bother at all. No prizes for guessing which one I opted for - my parents don't even know about most of my detentions in high school. Used to forge their signature on the slips. Yes, I was a bad boy.
If you're under 18 they have to let your parents know, if you're over - they have NO right to do anything other than point and laugh.
I'm sure that's illegal. When I was arrested, because I was over 18 I was allowed the option to phone somebody, or to not bother at all. No prizes for guessing which one I opted for - my parents don't even know about most of my detentions in high school. Used to forge their signature on the slips. Yes, I was a bad boy.
If you're under 18 they have to let your parents know, if you're over - they have NO right to do anything other than point and laugh.
Nice to read about it from the other side.
Sally_UK wrote:
> I hope the breaking up didn't have anything to do with that!
Nahhh, totally different reasons.
> At least your girlfriend wants to s*** you - I know plenty of blokes
> that have a hard time getting any from their girlfriends!
Bwhahahahahaha.
> I hope the breaking up didn't have anything to do with that!
Nahhh, totally different reasons.
> At least your girlfriend wants to s*** you - I know plenty of blokes
> that have a hard time getting any from their girlfriends!
Bwhahahahahaha.
Pandaemonium wrote:
> Hehehhee. I did, and she's my current girlfriend. We broke up a few
> months after this incident but got back together the start of this
> year. We live together and share a house now.
>
> If I remember rightly, she was slaughtered at the time too, and her
> only comment was "Well, there goes my s*** tonight."
>
> Who says romance is dead eh? :)
I hope the breaking up didn't have anything to do with that!
At least your girlfriend wants to s*** you - I know plenty of blokes that have a hard time getting any from their girlfriends!
> Hehehhee. I did, and she's my current girlfriend. We broke up a few
> months after this incident but got back together the start of this
> year. We live together and share a house now.
>
> If I remember rightly, she was slaughtered at the time too, and her
> only comment was "Well, there goes my s*** tonight."
>
> Who says romance is dead eh? :)
I hope the breaking up didn't have anything to do with that!
At least your girlfriend wants to s*** you - I know plenty of blokes that have a hard time getting any from their girlfriends!
The only time I've been completely out of it was after a mate's birthday party. I think we were all 17, but managed to get served in a pub. I was really inexperienced with drink, but decided I should prove how manly I was by drinking loads. For my last trip to the bar I was already gone a bit, and managed to buy more drinks than were asked for...so I drank the lot. Then we stumbled onto a mate's house, playing knock-down-ginger on the way (it was someone we knew and didn't particularly like!), before arriving at said mate's house and consuming any alcohol that happened to be lying around.
The rest gets a bit hazy, but I'm reminded of it quite often: "You're so funny when you're drunk", they say. Thanks. Apparently I was riding a child's tricycle near some sick and a pond, singing very loud and very badly, lying on the floor under a coat and giving an old mate advice on how his girlfriend *should* have had her abortion. Yes, I was quite, quite gone. This then lead to lying on the road in front of a taxi, and sprinting down some garages and tripping, which explains why I woke up in the morning with grazes on my arms, dirt on my clothes and sick in my bed and up the wall.
For more "funny" stories about drunkeness, consult Snuggly on downing 8 double vodkas and coke in a row, on New Year's Eve, collapsing on the pool table at the Square and subsequently getting chucked out of after they found out we were under-age, and having to carry him home, shouting at passers-by, then throwing up in his bed whilst we went to the party next door!
The rest gets a bit hazy, but I'm reminded of it quite often: "You're so funny when you're drunk", they say. Thanks. Apparently I was riding a child's tricycle near some sick and a pond, singing very loud and very badly, lying on the floor under a coat and giving an old mate advice on how his girlfriend *should* have had her abortion. Yes, I was quite, quite gone. This then lead to lying on the road in front of a taxi, and sprinting down some garages and tripping, which explains why I woke up in the morning with grazes on my arms, dirt on my clothes and sick in my bed and up the wall.
For more "funny" stories about drunkeness, consult Snuggly on downing 8 double vodkas and coke in a row, on New Year's Eve, collapsing on the pool table at the Square and subsequently getting chucked out of after they found out we were under-age, and having to carry him home, shouting at passers-by, then throwing up in his bed whilst we went to the party next door!
unknown kernel wrote:
> But perhaps I'm missing the point of your cautionary tale.
Don't drink a full bottle (possibly more, we were in the pub all night drinking trebles) when you are a bit annoyed to start with? ;)
> But perhaps I'm missing the point of your cautionary tale.
Don't drink a full bottle (possibly more, we were in the pub all night drinking trebles) when you are a bit annoyed to start with? ;)
I like gin. It's of the alcoholic genre 'clear, life-giving spirits' and so it doesn't give me a hangover. And there are so many delicious ways to drink it.
But perhaps I'm missing the point of your cautionary tale.
But perhaps I'm missing the point of your cautionary tale.
Pandaemonium wrote:
> but got back together the start of this year.
LAST year. I haven't got used th this 2004 milarkey yet.
> but got back together the start of this year.
LAST year. I haven't got used th this 2004 milarkey yet.
Sally_UK wrote:
> Excellent! What a night. Gin does have a tendancy to make you feel
> suicidal. I'm guessing you're not an angry person when you're not
> drinking? I think you should drink that much Gin again, get a mate to
> record the evening, and the let us watch it!
Not a chance!
I'm not even an angry person when i AM drinking. It was just this night things went belly up.
> Did being stuck in a cell all night teach you anything? (apart from
> drink less Gin and don't be destructive when the Police are
> watching)
Of course. Its the first time I've spent time in one overnight.
As the old saying goes "Coppers sons are the worst." I was a right little troublemaker when I was younger (in the incident here I was 25, but thats a blip on an otherwise calm horizon) but am a chilled person now.
> Have you got a girlfriend? Was she there if you do?
Hehehhee. I did, and she's my current girlfriend. We broke up a few months after this incident but got back together the start of this year. We live together and share a house now.
If I remember rightly, she was slaughtered at the time too, and her only comment was "Well, there goes my s*** tonight."
Who says romance is dead eh? :)
> Excellent! What a night. Gin does have a tendancy to make you feel
> suicidal. I'm guessing you're not an angry person when you're not
> drinking? I think you should drink that much Gin again, get a mate to
> record the evening, and the let us watch it!
Not a chance!
I'm not even an angry person when i AM drinking. It was just this night things went belly up.
> Did being stuck in a cell all night teach you anything? (apart from
> drink less Gin and don't be destructive when the Police are
> watching)
Of course. Its the first time I've spent time in one overnight.
As the old saying goes "Coppers sons are the worst." I was a right little troublemaker when I was younger (in the incident here I was 25, but thats a blip on an otherwise calm horizon) but am a chilled person now.
> Have you got a girlfriend? Was she there if you do?
Hehehhee. I did, and she's my current girlfriend. We broke up a few months after this incident but got back together the start of this year. We live together and share a house now.
If I remember rightly, she was slaughtered at the time too, and her only comment was "Well, there goes my s*** tonight."
Who says romance is dead eh? :)
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