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"Hello, I'm John Connor. I shall quickly repeat the plots of the first two films in case your quick-cut eMpTyV fried minds have forgotten already."
"I'm Claire Danes. Boy machines suck eh? This supermarket scanner thing doesn't work, technology sucks eh? Do you notice how I'm already indicating how much I hate machines? Now I'll take a phone call from my dad, a top-level military bloke who has never been mentioned in either prequels yet will tie-in nicely"
"I'm the Terminatrix. Although in the 1st movie The Terminator was a ruthless, near silent machine, I shall say 'Nice Car' to this woman for no other purpose than to set-up a gag in 2 minutes from now"
"I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger. Do you notice how the director clumsily attempts to latch onto the first 2 movies by redoing the "your clothes, give them to me" scene, but adding pointless humour?"
"Quick John Connor, despite your years of hardcore survivalist training instilled in you by your strong female-role mother, I'll shoot you with a paintgun and push you into a kennel"
"Yes, and then I shall escape and give a half-hearted repeat of the bit in T2 where mum ran into the Terminator"
"Come with me if you want to...no, we don't use that line here, sorry! I'll fight off The Terminatrix so you can escape"
"Ok Arnie, and we'll engage in a lengthy pointless chase scene that somehow jumps from 5:30am darkness to daylight in the space of 2 shots!"
"Phew, we lost her. Now we'll drive into the desert with no tv helicopters or police chasing us, despite having levelled 3 city blocks with a crane and a fire-engine"
"Should we have 2 minutes of exposition now where we talk about JUDGEMENT DAY"
"No time, let's have another contrived set-piece in a cemetary. Notice how once again I use a chain-gun to destroy the awaiting police? Nice echoes of T2 eh? Ha ha ha"
"Phew, we lost her. Now Claire Danes, we almost got it on as kids but then I had to go through the events of T2. So now here we are again awaiting JUDGEMENT DAY"
"What?"
"Yes. You and I are destined to be together before JUDGEMENT DAY"
"But wasn't the point of the first two movies that we have no fate except that which we create?"
"...er...let's have another narrow escape!"
"Cool"
"Hey there's my daughter! Over here honey! I won't ask how you obtained access to a top-level miltary base when, in our first scene, I indicated that I couldn't even discuss the work I was doing"
"No dad, that was the evil-robot me. I'm over here with a heavily armed Austrian in leather and sunglasses!"
"Soooo..how did 3 of you, one heavily armed, get into this top-security level military base then?"
"Shhhh, it's time for another set piece reminiscent of the 2nd film!"
"Yes Terminatrix, let us fight in much the same way as the T2 fight"
"Ok, I'll stamp your head off, but only until you somehow push it back on"
"Jah"
"Damn, now we have to fly with zero interference from any kind of military escort to another top-secret base. Don't you find it strange how easily we accessed this top security level military stuff Claire Danes?"
"No, I find it strange that a sleek, self-contained sci-fi classic has degenerated into this chase movie with zero logic"
"Arnold, dive under that massive heavy blast-proof military bunker door and stop it from coming down, despite the fact that your exact same model was disposed of in the 1st movie by being crushed in a simple factory press"
"Jah"
"Wow, we're being chased by a legless Terminatrix! Do you notice how this echoes the finale of the 1st movie?"
"Jah"
"Now we'll attempt to negate the previous 80 mins of mindless A-Team antics by sticking on a twee serious ending, replete with voice-over to try and crowbar some of the decentness of the first two movies"
"So the mission wasn't to prevent JUDGEMENT DAY at all? Just to survive it?"
"Yes. However, that was said at the end of the first movie when Sarah Connor drove into the desert after having her picture taken, that it was coming and there was nothing you could do to stop it"
"So the 2nd movie, if we had stopped JUDGEMENT DAY, wouldn't that mean then that there never was a war, never was a resistance and that Kyle Reese would never have had reason to come back in the first place and ending up as your father?"
"Shhhh, let's watch scenes of JUDGEMENT DAY"
"Jah"
"I'm Claire Danes. Boy machines suck eh? This supermarket scanner thing doesn't work, technology sucks eh? Do you notice how I'm already indicating how much I hate machines? Now I'll take a phone call from my dad, a top-level military bloke who has never been mentioned in either prequels yet will tie-in nicely"
"I'm the Terminatrix. Although in the 1st movie The Terminator was a ruthless, near silent machine, I shall say 'Nice Car' to this woman for no other purpose than to set-up a gag in 2 minutes from now"
"I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger. Do you notice how the director clumsily attempts to latch onto the first 2 movies by redoing the "your clothes, give them to me" scene, but adding pointless humour?"
"Quick John Connor, despite your years of hardcore survivalist training instilled in you by your strong female-role mother, I'll shoot you with a paintgun and push you into a kennel"
"Yes, and then I shall escape and give a half-hearted repeat of the bit in T2 where mum ran into the Terminator"
"Come with me if you want to...no, we don't use that line here, sorry! I'll fight off The Terminatrix so you can escape"
"Ok Arnie, and we'll engage in a lengthy pointless chase scene that somehow jumps from 5:30am darkness to daylight in the space of 2 shots!"
"Phew, we lost her. Now we'll drive into the desert with no tv helicopters or police chasing us, despite having levelled 3 city blocks with a crane and a fire-engine"
"Should we have 2 minutes of exposition now where we talk about JUDGEMENT DAY"
"No time, let's have another contrived set-piece in a cemetary. Notice how once again I use a chain-gun to destroy the awaiting police? Nice echoes of T2 eh? Ha ha ha"
"Phew, we lost her. Now Claire Danes, we almost got it on as kids but then I had to go through the events of T2. So now here we are again awaiting JUDGEMENT DAY"
"What?"
"Yes. You and I are destined to be together before JUDGEMENT DAY"
"But wasn't the point of the first two movies that we have no fate except that which we create?"
"...er...let's have another narrow escape!"
"Cool"
"Hey there's my daughter! Over here honey! I won't ask how you obtained access to a top-level miltary base when, in our first scene, I indicated that I couldn't even discuss the work I was doing"
"No dad, that was the evil-robot me. I'm over here with a heavily armed Austrian in leather and sunglasses!"
"Soooo..how did 3 of you, one heavily armed, get into this top-security level military base then?"
"Shhhh, it's time for another set piece reminiscent of the 2nd film!"
"Yes Terminatrix, let us fight in much the same way as the T2 fight"
"Ok, I'll stamp your head off, but only until you somehow push it back on"
"Jah"
"Damn, now we have to fly with zero interference from any kind of military escort to another top-secret base. Don't you find it strange how easily we accessed this top security level military stuff Claire Danes?"
"No, I find it strange that a sleek, self-contained sci-fi classic has degenerated into this chase movie with zero logic"
"Arnold, dive under that massive heavy blast-proof military bunker door and stop it from coming down, despite the fact that your exact same model was disposed of in the 1st movie by being crushed in a simple factory press"
"Jah"
"Wow, we're being chased by a legless Terminatrix! Do you notice how this echoes the finale of the 1st movie?"
"Jah"
"Now we'll attempt to negate the previous 80 mins of mindless A-Team antics by sticking on a twee serious ending, replete with voice-over to try and crowbar some of the decentness of the first two movies"
"So the mission wasn't to prevent JUDGEMENT DAY at all? Just to survive it?"
"Yes. However, that was said at the end of the first movie when Sarah Connor drove into the desert after having her picture taken, that it was coming and there was nothing you could do to stop it"
"So the 2nd movie, if we had stopped JUDGEMENT DAY, wouldn't that mean then that there never was a war, never was a resistance and that Kyle Reese would never have had reason to come back in the first place and ending up as your father?"
"Shhhh, let's watch scenes of JUDGEMENT DAY"
"Jah"
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"so lethal that a burst from an M16 breaks them"
It was an AK47.
But, yes, I agree with your points, Goatboy, you've summed up what almost everyone was thinking
When I left the cinema after seeing it in a large group, some of them declared it was the best of the three. I just couldn't understand how or why ANYONE would say that... Were they watching the same T2 remake I was?
By the way, the DVD has a deleted scene which is amazing. Arnie is "Sgt. Candy" - the basis of the terminators. You see him running on treadmills and talking in a dubbed American accent. Someone notes they don't like the accent, so the bloke next to him says -
"We can fix it. Yarl."
in Arnie's voice. See? THAT'S why the terminators sound so daft!
Of course, it was old Arnie in the deleted scene, so why is the terminator sent back to '84 so much younger looking, when they were based on Sgt. Candy who was blatantly 50? And why didn't Dane's dad react to seeing ol' Candy walking around in leathers with his daughter? Madness!
It was an AK47.
But, yes, I agree with your points, Goatboy, you've summed up what almost everyone was thinking
When I left the cinema after seeing it in a large group, some of them declared it was the best of the three. I just couldn't understand how or why ANYONE would say that... Were they watching the same T2 remake I was?
By the way, the DVD has a deleted scene which is amazing. Arnie is "Sgt. Candy" - the basis of the terminators. You see him running on treadmills and talking in a dubbed American accent. Someone notes they don't like the accent, so the bloke next to him says -
"We can fix it. Yarl."
in Arnie's voice. See? THAT'S why the terminators sound so daft!
Of course, it was old Arnie in the deleted scene, so why is the terminator sent back to '84 so much younger looking, when they were based on Sgt. Candy who was blatantly 50? And why didn't Dane's dad react to seeing ol' Candy walking around in leathers with his daughter? Madness!
ill tell you why - big bangs big guns and big breasts.
maybe not the last one as much as the other two.
maybe not the last one as much as the other two.
Edgy wrote:
> They claim that in Terminator 2 they only postponed Judgement Day -
> in that case, the future events, the sending back of Kyle Reese and
> so on would have happened at a different time - the memories
> different. Infact, in post-poning Judgement Day, John Connor may have
> unintentionally wiped himself from existence, thus allowing the
> machines to win the war without Connor to fight against in the first
> place.
Whenever something like that happens, it's because a Terminator did it.
Goaty is pretty much spot on. Also, another thing worth mentioning is the explosive power cells that Arnie has inside him, the one he throws into the desert and the one he destroys the TX with. Wouldn't a fiery hot lava death perhaps set one of those off? Or for that matter, being crushed in a factory press? But it doesn't matter, because this one has jokes!
"Talk to der hand" etc.
Someone explain to me why I liked this movie.
> They claim that in Terminator 2 they only postponed Judgement Day -
> in that case, the future events, the sending back of Kyle Reese and
> so on would have happened at a different time - the memories
> different. Infact, in post-poning Judgement Day, John Connor may have
> unintentionally wiped himself from existence, thus allowing the
> machines to win the war without Connor to fight against in the first
> place.
Whenever something like that happens, it's because a Terminator did it.
Goaty is pretty much spot on. Also, another thing worth mentioning is the explosive power cells that Arnie has inside him, the one he throws into the desert and the one he destroys the TX with. Wouldn't a fiery hot lava death perhaps set one of those off? Or for that matter, being crushed in a factory press? But it doesn't matter, because this one has jokes!
"Talk to der hand" etc.
Someone explain to me why I liked this movie.
Edgy wrote:
> One major flaw with Terminator 3:
>
> They claim that in Terminator 2 they only postponed Judgement Day -
Yeah, but even the first one was a little loose with the theory.
http://www.mjyoung.net/time/terminat.html
> One major flaw with Terminator 3:
>
> They claim that in Terminator 2 they only postponed Judgement Day -
Yeah, but even the first one was a little loose with the theory.
http://www.mjyoung.net/time/terminat.html
One major flaw with Terminator 3:
They claim that in Terminator 2 they only postponed Judgement Day - in that case, the future events, the sending back of Kyle Reese and so on would have happened at a different time - the memories different. Infact, in post-poning Judgement Day, John Connor may have unintentionally wiped himself from existence, thus allowing the machines to win the war without Connor to fight against in the first place.
They didn't think of the space-time continuum at all really...
They claim that in Terminator 2 they only postponed Judgement Day - in that case, the future events, the sending back of Kyle Reese and so on would have happened at a different time - the memories different. Infact, in post-poning Judgement Day, John Connor may have unintentionally wiped himself from existence, thus allowing the machines to win the war without Connor to fight against in the first place.
They didn't think of the space-time continuum at all really...
Pretty much agree with your review Goatboy, but I have to give them kudos for the end. It was not what I was expecting, being the start of the apocalypse and all.
ßora† SagdiyeV wrote:
> so you watched it after all?
---
Yep.
Rented it last night, I can't really say how much I'd hate something without actually watching it so I gave it a chance.
And it was pretty much everything I thought it would be.
Terrible, terrible squandering of the previous 2.
It added nothing to the story overall (simply repeated the coda of the 1st one and lifted several sequences from the 2nd).
To give him his due, Schwarzenegger did his role well but c'mon, all he had to do was spurt out a couple of lines with no emotion and walk through walls.
Pointless, contrived and dull.
And I loved the flying weapon-things that are so tough, so lethal that a burst from an M16 breaks them.
*slow clap*
Way to create a multi-million dollar weapon that can be felled by Claire Danes and a burst of machine gun fire....
> so you watched it after all?
---
Yep.
Rented it last night, I can't really say how much I'd hate something without actually watching it so I gave it a chance.
And it was pretty much everything I thought it would be.
Terrible, terrible squandering of the previous 2.
It added nothing to the story overall (simply repeated the coda of the 1st one and lifted several sequences from the 2nd).
To give him his due, Schwarzenegger did his role well but c'mon, all he had to do was spurt out a couple of lines with no emotion and walk through walls.
Pointless, contrived and dull.
And I loved the flying weapon-things that are so tough, so lethal that a burst from an M16 breaks them.
*slow clap*
Way to create a multi-million dollar weapon that can be felled by Claire Danes and a burst of machine gun fire....
I love the way the terminators are machines designed to mimic humans and infiltrate their resistance, but the terminatrix is basically a Vogue model with a perfect body, teeth and skin. Wouldn’t stand out in a post apocalyptic world at all, no siree.
Having said that, I doubt a munter with missing teeth and rickets would have pulled the punters into the box office J
Having said that, I doubt a munter with missing teeth and rickets would have pulled the punters into the box office J
I don’t think you took that review seriously. I’m sensing a slight bitterness towards the film.
Having read it, I can't fault your review Goatboy.
I think the appropriate term is 'no-nonsense'
I think the appropriate term is 'no-nonsense'
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