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"Hello, I'm John Connor. I shall quickly repeat the plots of the first two films in case your quick-cut eMpTyV fried minds have forgotten already."
"I'm Claire Danes. Boy machines suck eh? This supermarket scanner thing doesn't work, technology sucks eh? Do you notice how I'm already indicating how much I hate machines? Now I'll take a phone call from my dad, a top-level military bloke who has never been mentioned in either prequels yet will tie-in nicely"
"I'm the Terminatrix. Although in the 1st movie The Terminator was a ruthless, near silent machine, I shall say 'Nice Car' to this woman for no other purpose than to set-up a gag in 2 minutes from now"
"I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger. Do you notice how the director clumsily attempts to latch onto the first 2 movies by redoing the "your clothes, give them to me" scene, but adding pointless humour?"
"Quick John Connor, despite your years of hardcore survivalist training instilled in you by your strong female-role mother, I'll shoot you with a paintgun and push you into a kennel"
"Yes, and then I shall escape and give a half-hearted repeat of the bit in T2 where mum ran into the Terminator"
"Come with me if you want to...no, we don't use that line here, sorry! I'll fight off The Terminatrix so you can escape"
"Ok Arnie, and we'll engage in a lengthy pointless chase scene that somehow jumps from 5:30am darkness to daylight in the space of 2 shots!"
"Phew, we lost her. Now we'll drive into the desert with no tv helicopters or police chasing us, despite having levelled 3 city blocks with a crane and a fire-engine"
"Should we have 2 minutes of exposition now where we talk about JUDGEMENT DAY"
"No time, let's have another contrived set-piece in a cemetary. Notice how once again I use a chain-gun to destroy the awaiting police? Nice echoes of T2 eh? Ha ha ha"
"Phew, we lost her. Now Claire Danes, we almost got it on as kids but then I had to go through the events of T2. So now here we are again awaiting JUDGEMENT DAY"
"What?"
"Yes. You and I are destined to be together before JUDGEMENT DAY"
"But wasn't the point of the first two movies that we have no fate except that which we create?"
"...er...let's have another narrow escape!"
"Cool"
"Hey there's my daughter! Over here honey! I won't ask how you obtained access to a top-level miltary base when, in our first scene, I indicated that I couldn't even discuss the work I was doing"
"No dad, that was the evil-robot me. I'm over here with a heavily armed Austrian in leather and sunglasses!"
"Soooo..how did 3 of you, one heavily armed, get into this top-security level military base then?"
"Shhhh, it's time for another set piece reminiscent of the 2nd film!"
"Yes Terminatrix, let us fight in much the same way as the T2 fight"
"Ok, I'll stamp your head off, but only until you somehow push it back on"
"Jah"
"Damn, now we have to fly with zero interference from any kind of military escort to another top-secret base. Don't you find it strange how easily we accessed this top security level military stuff Claire Danes?"
"No, I find it strange that a sleek, self-contained sci-fi classic has degenerated into this chase movie with zero logic"
"Arnold, dive under that massive heavy blast-proof military bunker door and stop it from coming down, despite the fact that your exact same model was disposed of in the 1st movie by being crushed in a simple factory press"
"Jah"
"Wow, we're being chased by a legless Terminatrix! Do you notice how this echoes the finale of the 1st movie?"
"Jah"
"Now we'll attempt to negate the previous 80 mins of mindless A-Team antics by sticking on a twee serious ending, replete with voice-over to try and crowbar some of the decentness of the first two movies"
"So the mission wasn't to prevent JUDGEMENT DAY at all? Just to survive it?"
"Yes. However, that was said at the end of the first movie when Sarah Connor drove into the desert after having her picture taken, that it was coming and there was nothing you could do to stop it"
"So the 2nd movie, if we had stopped JUDGEMENT DAY, wouldn't that mean then that there never was a war, never was a resistance and that Kyle Reese would never have had reason to come back in the first place and ending up as your father?"
"Shhhh, let's watch scenes of JUDGEMENT DAY"
"Jah"
"I'm Claire Danes. Boy machines suck eh? This supermarket scanner thing doesn't work, technology sucks eh? Do you notice how I'm already indicating how much I hate machines? Now I'll take a phone call from my dad, a top-level military bloke who has never been mentioned in either prequels yet will tie-in nicely"
"I'm the Terminatrix. Although in the 1st movie The Terminator was a ruthless, near silent machine, I shall say 'Nice Car' to this woman for no other purpose than to set-up a gag in 2 minutes from now"
"I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger. Do you notice how the director clumsily attempts to latch onto the first 2 movies by redoing the "your clothes, give them to me" scene, but adding pointless humour?"
"Quick John Connor, despite your years of hardcore survivalist training instilled in you by your strong female-role mother, I'll shoot you with a paintgun and push you into a kennel"
"Yes, and then I shall escape and give a half-hearted repeat of the bit in T2 where mum ran into the Terminator"
"Come with me if you want to...no, we don't use that line here, sorry! I'll fight off The Terminatrix so you can escape"
"Ok Arnie, and we'll engage in a lengthy pointless chase scene that somehow jumps from 5:30am darkness to daylight in the space of 2 shots!"
"Phew, we lost her. Now we'll drive into the desert with no tv helicopters or police chasing us, despite having levelled 3 city blocks with a crane and a fire-engine"
"Should we have 2 minutes of exposition now where we talk about JUDGEMENT DAY"
"No time, let's have another contrived set-piece in a cemetary. Notice how once again I use a chain-gun to destroy the awaiting police? Nice echoes of T2 eh? Ha ha ha"
"Phew, we lost her. Now Claire Danes, we almost got it on as kids but then I had to go through the events of T2. So now here we are again awaiting JUDGEMENT DAY"
"What?"
"Yes. You and I are destined to be together before JUDGEMENT DAY"
"But wasn't the point of the first two movies that we have no fate except that which we create?"
"...er...let's have another narrow escape!"
"Cool"
"Hey there's my daughter! Over here honey! I won't ask how you obtained access to a top-level miltary base when, in our first scene, I indicated that I couldn't even discuss the work I was doing"
"No dad, that was the evil-robot me. I'm over here with a heavily armed Austrian in leather and sunglasses!"
"Soooo..how did 3 of you, one heavily armed, get into this top-security level military base then?"
"Shhhh, it's time for another set piece reminiscent of the 2nd film!"
"Yes Terminatrix, let us fight in much the same way as the T2 fight"
"Ok, I'll stamp your head off, but only until you somehow push it back on"
"Jah"
"Damn, now we have to fly with zero interference from any kind of military escort to another top-secret base. Don't you find it strange how easily we accessed this top security level military stuff Claire Danes?"
"No, I find it strange that a sleek, self-contained sci-fi classic has degenerated into this chase movie with zero logic"
"Arnold, dive under that massive heavy blast-proof military bunker door and stop it from coming down, despite the fact that your exact same model was disposed of in the 1st movie by being crushed in a simple factory press"
"Jah"
"Wow, we're being chased by a legless Terminatrix! Do you notice how this echoes the finale of the 1st movie?"
"Jah"
"Now we'll attempt to negate the previous 80 mins of mindless A-Team antics by sticking on a twee serious ending, replete with voice-over to try and crowbar some of the decentness of the first two movies"
"So the mission wasn't to prevent JUDGEMENT DAY at all? Just to survive it?"
"Yes. However, that was said at the end of the first movie when Sarah Connor drove into the desert after having her picture taken, that it was coming and there was nothing you could do to stop it"
"So the 2nd movie, if we had stopped JUDGEMENT DAY, wouldn't that mean then that there never was a war, never was a resistance and that Kyle Reese would never have had reason to come back in the first place and ending up as your father?"
"Shhhh, let's watch scenes of JUDGEMENT DAY"
"Jah"
Page:
Edgy wrote:
> One major flaw with Terminator 3:
>
> They claim that in Terminator 2 they only postponed Judgement Day -
> in that case, the future events, the sending back of Kyle Reese and
> so on would have happened at a different time - the memories
> different. Infact, in post-poning Judgement Day, John Connor may have
> unintentionally wiped himself from existence, thus allowing the
> machines to win the war without Connor to fight against in the first
> place.
>
> They didn't think of the space-time continuum at all really...
I don't know how you can comment on this. Time travel is a theory and there is no sure evidence that once you go back in time, you could kill yourself at an earlier age and you would die. There are various theories of time travel and this film merely explores one of these theories.
But I did like your review of the film, very funny and hate provoking. The film wasn't that bad, it could have been worse, the ending could have been them preventing Judgement Day.......again.
> One major flaw with Terminator 3:
>
> They claim that in Terminator 2 they only postponed Judgement Day -
> in that case, the future events, the sending back of Kyle Reese and
> so on would have happened at a different time - the memories
> different. Infact, in post-poning Judgement Day, John Connor may have
> unintentionally wiped himself from existence, thus allowing the
> machines to win the war without Connor to fight against in the first
> place.
>
> They didn't think of the space-time continuum at all really...
I don't know how you can comment on this. Time travel is a theory and there is no sure evidence that once you go back in time, you could kill yourself at an earlier age and you would die. There are various theories of time travel and this film merely explores one of these theories.
But I did like your review of the film, very funny and hate provoking. The film wasn't that bad, it could have been worse, the ending could have been them preventing Judgement Day.......again.
Emperor Xerxes wrote:
> Whatever. A load of rubbish I say. Still I bet Arne was laughing all
> the way to the bank or at least paid someone to laugh all the way to
> the bank for him.
Laughing all the way into the governor's office you mean...
> Whatever. A load of rubbish I say. Still I bet Arne was laughing all
> the way to the bank or at least paid someone to laugh all the way to
> the bank for him.
Laughing all the way into the governor's office you mean...
Ummmm.... calm down.
I just thought the deleted scene was amazing, as Arnie has a stupid grin on his face throughout.
I just thought the deleted scene was amazing, as Arnie has a stupid grin on his face throughout.
MoJoJoJo wrote:
> Of course, it was old Arnie in the deleted scene, so why is the
> terminator sent back to '84 so much younger looking, when they were
> based on Sgt. Candy who was blatantly 50? And why didn't Dane's dad
> react to seeing ol' Candy walking around in leathers with his
> daughter? Madness!
Ummm, remember you are talking about a DELETED scene? It's not actually part of the movie, so stop moaning about it.
> Of course, it was old Arnie in the deleted scene, so why is the
> terminator sent back to '84 so much younger looking, when they were
> based on Sgt. Candy who was blatantly 50? And why didn't Dane's dad
> react to seeing ol' Candy walking around in leathers with his
> daughter? Madness!
Ummm, remember you are talking about a DELETED scene? It's not actually part of the movie, so stop moaning about it.
ßora† SagdiyeV wrote:
> she took him to heaven before she took him to hell.
>
> or something like that.
Whatever. A load of rubbish I say. Still I bet Arne was laughing all the way to the bank or at least paid someone to laugh all the way to the bank for him.
> she took him to heaven before she took him to hell.
>
> or something like that.
Whatever. A load of rubbish I say. Still I bet Arne was laughing all the way to the bank or at least paid someone to laugh all the way to the bank for him.
Emperor Xerxes wrote:
> What was the point of the scene where the Terminatrix enlarged her
> breasts after looking at a bill board only to kill the cop (or at
> least thats what was implied) anyway? Pointless drivel.
she took him to heaven before she took him to hell.
or something like that.
> What was the point of the scene where the Terminatrix enlarged her
> breasts after looking at a bill board only to kill the cop (or at
> least thats what was implied) anyway? Pointless drivel.
she took him to heaven before she took him to hell.
or something like that.
What was the point of the scene where the Terminatrix enlarged her breasts after looking at a bill board only to kill the cop (or at least thats what was implied) anyway? Pointless drivel.
Mr Snuggly wrote:
> Someone explain to me why I liked this movie.
*****
The Terminator Bird has inflatable boobs?
> Someone explain to me why I liked this movie.
*****
The Terminator Bird has inflatable boobs?
This new style of reviewing is a revoloution.
Hurrah.
Hurrah.
I have the robocop trilogy also.
haven't bothered to watch the third disc, and probably never will. It's complete toss.
haven't bothered to watch the third disc, and probably never will. It's complete toss.
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