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"Terminator 3: A review"

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Tue 09/12/03 at 23:59
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
"Hello, I'm John Connor. I shall quickly repeat the plots of the first two films in case your quick-cut eMpTyV fried minds have forgotten already."
"I'm Claire Danes. Boy machines suck eh? This supermarket scanner thing doesn't work, technology sucks eh? Do you notice how I'm already indicating how much I hate machines? Now I'll take a phone call from my dad, a top-level military bloke who has never been mentioned in either prequels yet will tie-in nicely"
"I'm the Terminatrix. Although in the 1st movie The Terminator was a ruthless, near silent machine, I shall say 'Nice Car' to this woman for no other purpose than to set-up a gag in 2 minutes from now"
"I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger. Do you notice how the director clumsily attempts to latch onto the first 2 movies by redoing the "your clothes, give them to me" scene, but adding pointless humour?"
"Quick John Connor, despite your years of hardcore survivalist training instilled in you by your strong female-role mother, I'll shoot you with a paintgun and push you into a kennel"
"Yes, and then I shall escape and give a half-hearted repeat of the bit in T2 where mum ran into the Terminator"
"Come with me if you want to...no, we don't use that line here, sorry! I'll fight off The Terminatrix so you can escape"
"Ok Arnie, and we'll engage in a lengthy pointless chase scene that somehow jumps from 5:30am darkness to daylight in the space of 2 shots!"
"Phew, we lost her. Now we'll drive into the desert with no tv helicopters or police chasing us, despite having levelled 3 city blocks with a crane and a fire-engine"
"Should we have 2 minutes of exposition now where we talk about JUDGEMENT DAY"
"No time, let's have another contrived set-piece in a cemetary. Notice how once again I use a chain-gun to destroy the awaiting police? Nice echoes of T2 eh? Ha ha ha"
"Phew, we lost her. Now Claire Danes, we almost got it on as kids but then I had to go through the events of T2. So now here we are again awaiting JUDGEMENT DAY"
"What?"
"Yes. You and I are destined to be together before JUDGEMENT DAY"
"But wasn't the point of the first two movies that we have no fate except that which we create?"
"...er...let's have another narrow escape!"
"Cool"
"Hey there's my daughter! Over here honey! I won't ask how you obtained access to a top-level miltary base when, in our first scene, I indicated that I couldn't even discuss the work I was doing"
"No dad, that was the evil-robot me. I'm over here with a heavily armed Austrian in leather and sunglasses!"
"Soooo..how did 3 of you, one heavily armed, get into this top-security level military base then?"
"Shhhh, it's time for another set piece reminiscent of the 2nd film!"
"Yes Terminatrix, let us fight in much the same way as the T2 fight"
"Ok, I'll stamp your head off, but only until you somehow push it back on"
"Jah"
"Damn, now we have to fly with zero interference from any kind of military escort to another top-secret base. Don't you find it strange how easily we accessed this top security level military stuff Claire Danes?"
"No, I find it strange that a sleek, self-contained sci-fi classic has degenerated into this chase movie with zero logic"
"Arnold, dive under that massive heavy blast-proof military bunker door and stop it from coming down, despite the fact that your exact same model was disposed of in the 1st movie by being crushed in a simple factory press"
"Jah"
"Wow, we're being chased by a legless Terminatrix! Do you notice how this echoes the finale of the 1st movie?"
"Jah"
"Now we'll attempt to negate the previous 80 mins of mindless A-Team antics by sticking on a twee serious ending, replete with voice-over to try and crowbar some of the decentness of the first two movies"
"So the mission wasn't to prevent JUDGEMENT DAY at all? Just to survive it?"
"Yes. However, that was said at the end of the first movie when Sarah Connor drove into the desert after having her picture taken, that it was coming and there was nothing you could do to stop it"
"So the 2nd movie, if we had stopped JUDGEMENT DAY, wouldn't that mean then that there never was a war, never was a resistance and that Kyle Reese would never have had reason to come back in the first place and ending up as your father?"
"Shhhh, let's watch scenes of JUDGEMENT DAY"
"Jah"
Fri 12/12/03 at 20:55
Regular
Posts: 15,681
Providing they do it well, I reckon T4 will be class.

After all, its opened up for finishing the story off with how the war gets won by the humans...providing it does.
Fri 12/12/03 at 15:44
Regular
"50 BLM,30 SMN,25 RD"
Posts: 2,299
"nothing clean, right"
Fri 12/12/03 at 13:25
Regular
Posts: 20,776
"nice night for a walk"
Fri 12/12/03 at 08:42
Regular
"everyone says it"
Posts: 14,738
I thought it could have been a lot worse than it was. I was actually pretty impressed by the main chase action scene, it was very well executed. I do think it missed the grit of the original two and definetely the score.

Still, maybe they'll make Terminator 4/5/6 18 rated and go back to basics. Hardcore Arnie.

:)
Fri 12/12/03 at 03:42
Regular
Posts: 20,776
I eagerly await goatboys review of pirates of the caribbean, which I saw this week, and thought was pretty good.

Johnny Depp is a severely underrated actor, he was playing his Raoul Duke character from Fear and Loathing again, and was on top form. Fear and Loathing being the funniest damn thing I've seen in years.

"don't f*** with me now, man. I am Ahab!"
Thu 11/12/03 at 23:35
Regular
"She's a dog!"
Posts: 1,223
Is Brewster Clare Danes? I forget having not seen the movie since its release.
Thu 11/12/03 at 23:32
Regular
"She's a dog!"
Posts: 1,223
But in T2 he has to learn where the keys are. Perhaps he was trained by that guy but I have not seen the extras so do not know who or what he is.
Thu 11/12/03 at 23:29
Regular
Posts: 15,681
That's not a flaw - he was programmed by Brewster - and so has some personality.

Not so much a memory in the sense we'd call memory, but has a memory file allocated to know such a thing.

Another theory could be that that is where the humans keep their keys - after all, if they're all fighting on the same side, what need is there for internal security in such times of war.
Thu 11/12/03 at 23:24
Regular
"She's a dog!"
Posts: 1,223
Obviously for my theory (I call it mine but it isn't) to work there would have to be different dimensions. I was just explaining that you can't pick faults in this movie for its paradoxs(sp).

But you can pick fault at how the Terminator knew that the keys were in the overhead mirror when he is a different model to the John Connor taught machine of T2.
Thu 11/12/03 at 23:13
Regular
Posts: 15,681
So picture this:

You know that providing nothing prevents you from doing so, you're gonna be going on a day trip tomorrow to some random place in the UK.

However, due to unforseen circumstances, your one chance of going to this random place is gone.

All your plans have had to be changed to compensate.

Now picture this:

John Connor and his mother prevent an event from happening at a certain time. In the future of that timeline, John was supposed to send his father back in time to do his duty.

However, due to this not happening in the same time, the past would have to be altered to compensate. And so, either John Connor's father is someone else, or Kyle Reese was never John's father in the first place and someone from the 'present' so to speak, impregnated Sarah Connor.

If however we take the theory of there being various dimension. Then travelling back in time to a new dimension wouldn't effect the current one.

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