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I would be Henry Hill from Goodfellas, because he had the respect of everyone, and could pretty much do what he wanted.
Walking about roughing it in the wild would totally rock. And he can smash Orc skulls with the best of them.
> No, Darth Vader captains the Executor.
"And then he folds back his black visage to reveal a crusty old white man!"
Now I want to be Hooper X, or Banksy!
"They're saying that inside every black man is a white guy!"
"But isn't that true?"
*bang*
"Black rage!!!"
P.S. The hetero equivalent.
Because he's a comedic legend.
> And they'd look cool in a pair of shades.
The best reason ever, as far as I'm concerned....