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"The Simpsons Quotes Thread"

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Fri 07/11/03 at 15:59
Regular
Posts: 20,776
The last one was here for ages but eventually slipped into the SR dungeon, so here's another, because everyone has a favourite quote, or several hundred.

Let's get started -

Homer : "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville, Population YOU"
Page:
Mon 30/08/04 at 18:39
Regular
"Incomprehendible"
Posts: 2,938
Didn't realise it has just been on TV, haven't been in the country for 2 weeks...
Mon 30/08/04 at 18:02
Regular
"you've got a beard"
Posts: 7,442
this thread has gone from referencing some memorable and funny quotes, to just typing lines in from whichever episode has just been on tv, whether they're funny or not.
Mon 30/08/04 at 12:14
Regular
"Incomprehendible"
Posts: 2,938
When Bart and Homer are chasing the pig that was meant for the BBQ...

Homer: "It's just a little airbourne! It's still good, it's still good!"
Fri 27/08/04 at 19:50
Regular
"Better Than You"
Posts: 5,204
*Bart pulls a moony at Homer*

Homer - Don't point that thing at me.
Wed 25/08/04 at 15:42
Regular
"Previously Vampyr"
Posts: 4,618
oh yes, im the greatest simpsonian ever. bow before me.
Wed 25/08/04 at 15:10
Regular
Posts: 20,776
Some of the best quotes ever there, Vampyr.
Wed 25/08/04 at 15:06
Regular
"Previously Vampyr"
Posts: 4,618
good god, how the hell have i missed this - better make up for lost time now then:

Troy McClure: Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
Quote Rating: 9.2 outta 10 - Vote Now!

Edna: Seymour, you have to think of the children's future.
Seymour: Oh, Edna. We all know that these children HAVE no future.
[Everyone stops and stares at Seymour.]
Seymour: Prove me wrong children. Prove me wrong.

Leonard Nimoy: Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No.

Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.

Ralph: That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun.
Bart: Right, the leprechaun.
Ralph: He told me to burn things.

Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?

Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Wife: Now Cletus, why did ya haf to park next to my parents?
Cletus: Now, Now, Hun, they're my parents too...

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

Wiggum: Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.
Friday: That's "Homer J. Simpson", Chief. You're reading it upside down.
Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros.
Friday: Uh, Chief? You're talking into your wallet.

Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?

Rainier: My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

Homer: Now this next song goes out to a very specail lady .. she's over 2, 000 feet tall and weighs over a 1,000 tons.
Man: Oh my god, this monsterous woman will devour us all! (dives away into the ocean)
Homer: I was talking about the statue ...

Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

Marge: Kids! Where did you learn to talk like that?
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.

Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!

Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done.
Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning.

and er yurifan bloke its woohoo, not wahoo... mario he aint
Tue 24/08/04 at 20:36
Regular
"WhaleOilBeefHooked"
Posts: 12,425
Excuse me, "Wahoo"? :P
Mon 23/08/04 at 20:46
Regular
"Bad Wolf; England"
Posts: 920
Oh, by the way, the correct quote goes like this:

Homer-"I found this dollar while waiting for a bus."

Marge-"While you were out Earning that dollar, you lost another 40 by NOT going to work today. The plant called and said 'if you're not going to come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in on Monday!"

Homer-"Wahoo! 4-day weekend!"

Sorry about the mistake, everyone!

*Hangs head in shame*
Mon 23/08/04 at 20:42
Regular
"Better Than You"
Posts: 5,204
A great 1 liner:

Homer - If I could just say a few words I'd be a great publec speaker.
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