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... when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
... I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu". For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.
... when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
... I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).
... you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
... and this is, after all, the year 2003, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.
This has been a public service message for Women to better understand the Male.
I can just imagine his acceptence speech.....
"TIMMARGH!! TIMMARGH!!! TIMMARGH!! TIMMARGH!!! TIMMARGH!! TIMMARGH!!! TIMMARGH!! TIMMARGH!!! TIMMARGH!! TIMMARGH!!! TIMMARGH!! TIMMARGH!!! TIMMARGH!! TIMMARGH!!! TIMMARGH!! TIMMARGH!!! TIMMARGH!! TIMMARGH!!! TIMMARGH!! TIMMARGH!!! TIMMARGH!! TIMMARGH!!! TIMMMMMAAAAARRRRGGGGHH!!!"
*takes picture without camera
*makes money from Hello magazine
http://www.timothygriffin.co.uk /photos/friends_family.html
... and pick out the ones of me.
:p