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"All you "immigrints nicked me nan's chips" types"

http://www.real153.com/content/british-test/default.asp

BJ Cummings.

My Business Studies teacher. And he signed everything, "BJ Cummings" as if he wanted you to laugh at him.

Oh and I hope you don't have a "comedy surname". The first time I wrote my name on the board, you could tell they were praying for it to be "Smallwinky or Ugmonster".

Hmm...it's a tad different from what I've heard from you on the forums.

English language or literature?

Literature obviously.

My knowledge of history?

"Ok class, here we go. There was some dinosaurs but they died and turned to oil. Then we went to war with France for 100 years, and we've hated each other since. We used to own 3/4 of the globe, but oddly the natives revolted and now we're lapdogs to The USA. The end. Any questions?"

Goatboy wrote:
> Unbeliever wrote:
> Incidentally, what subject will you be teaching?
> --
>
> English.
> I do it enough on here, might as well get paid to do it.
> The marker pen thing sounds a bit gay, they'll laugh and I will be
> forced to dangle one out the window as a lesson to others.
>
> I intend to walk to the front, write my name on the board and then
> sit down and read "Q" for 20 mins, unsettling them as each
> minute ticks by.
> The first time one of them sniggers, I'll hurl my magazine at him/her
> and then begin the lesson.

Hah! That made me laugh. I suppose you're right.

I thought History might be one you'd go for. Or perhaps both? People need to be educated in history before they fall before the might of spin.

Rosalind wrote:
> Then one of the junior school teachers was sacked for giveing the
> boys in his class porn and beer on a school trip.
---

Damn.

We have bad luck with teachers where I come from. One of the teachers from my infant school ended up in prison after it was discovered he had been sexually assaulting some of the girls in his class (final year of infant school). He had been telling certain girls in his class to ring home and tell their parents that they were staying with a friend. He then told them that if they ever told the truth, they would be in lots of trouble. One of the girls eventually came clean to her mum about it, but not before he had abused several of the girls in the class.

Then one of the junior school teachers was sacked for giveing the boys in his class porn and beer on a school trip.

Finally, my french teacher from secondary school came under investigation for having relationships with some of his male students, which came to light after his diaries were handed into the police.

Again no point to this story.

In my school, if you did that you'd be castigated. And possibly castrated. By Michael's friend.

Unbeliever wrote:
> Incidentally, what subject will you be teaching?
--

English.
I do it enough on here, might as well get paid to do it.
The marker pen thing sounds a bit gay, they'll laugh and I will be forced to dangle one out the window as a lesson to others.

I intend to walk to the front, write my name on the board and then sit down and read "Q" for 20 mins, unsettling them as each minute ticks by.
The first time one of them sniggers, I'll hurl my magazine at him/her and then begin the lesson.

But obviously I hoped to blow him up, not the entire shool.