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i don't like the way things are at school, and i don't want to be particularly popular, just someone who can be leaned on by people at times. i hate my character, because i dont show my true colours. im either walking differently to my normal stance to look 'cool' or just doing things i'd probably never do normally. i also get paranoid about people seeing my boxers/pants underneath my trousers.
it's for these reasons i've desperately tried to change my appearance. working out, showering much more than usual, or growing my hair, but nothing really hits the spot. I hate my moles, aswell, and i'm ashamed of this, even though they are only about 2mm thick, they annoy me because they're dotted around my face - about 7 or 8. It's not recently i've been ashamed of my appearance, but the fact that my hormones are about to go berserk has amplified this. whenever i see a girl i know from school (particularly if it's someone i can't help having feelings for), i just wan't to be able to go out and talk, but it's just not gonna happen. i feel like such a fool. And whenever i see a 'popular' lad, it makes me sick, because they're just morons, and i can't get round the way it's turned out, because i'm not a bad person.
Today, i was out in town with my mum and sister (who's 21), and we only wen't there for them to look for another bed for my bro, and me to go to a stationary shop to look for art things, and so they got sidetracked, and looked around tarty women's shops. Then, to my horror i see 4 girls i know from school, and i'm thinking 'oh S***'. they KNEW i were there.
One of the major things i'm ashamed of is my nature. i stay indoors all day, trying to avoid going out, and when i do i get extremely nervous and try to stay out of visibility.
i need help.
> And by that I don't mean shaving off all your hair and turn up at
> school stark naked.
that sounds appealing...
And by that I don't mean shaving off all your hair and turn up at school stark naked, but try to emphasis what you really are like - although when a group of popular kids come along, it's best to stay quiet and act "normal".
People tend to stand out more when talking to a small group (or even one to one), and that's how you make "proper" friends. I reckon so anyway.
> Clazon wrote:
> i enjoyed the rise of nations music you sugested.
>
> :D
>
> lol, i'm glad someone actually tried it :D
they shouldve put it in the game.
:D
you're half right - but i'm not sure if you've caught on this but i'm a bit scared of going out on my own.
but i'm going out on bikes with a few mates tonight so, y'know. i'm fine with that, and i enjoy seeing the lad in front of me go head over heels from a sharp stop to avoid collision with a car pulling out.
> oh, and when i said long hair, i only meant about 5cm long...
>
> i shoulder have said long-ER hair.
I thought you meant growing more hair as in a beard......never mind...
i shoulder have said long-ER hair.
> i enjoyed the rise of nations music you sugested.
>
> :D
lol, i'm glad someone actually tried it :D
> Blank wrote:
> PS Long hair is cool.
>
> Please note: May be untrue.
It IS cool, and we all know it. If you saw me in real life, you'd drop a brick at the sheer coolness before you.
:D