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See, this has been on my mind for over 10 months or so.
And it's pretty annoying when you've got something on your mind that you can't quite figure out.
Today, it pretty much all came out through tears. And the relief! The relief is so good. A little weight lifted of those weak shoulders.
Right now. I should be eating. With some family. But I'm not there because of this 'freak' problem.
For some reason. I can't eat in front of more than 2 or 3 people. Sounds so simple, yet when you're actually in that situation it's so hard to deal with. One tiny piece of food, whether it's a carrot or a piece of small meat. I will instantly feel sick due to the smell or sight of it.
It's the feeling too that makes it worse. If I find out I've got to go for a meal with people I haven't seen for a very long time, the nervous feeling will kick in making it worse. Sicky feeling.
There hasn't actually been a time, yet, where I've thrown up in front of them. Thankfully! But everytime food slides slowly down the back of my throat it'll make me want to heave.
But today it came out a little more than I expected.
To my mum. Standing at the top of the stairs saying Sorry. Sorry for acting awkward for the past couple of days. She pointed that out.
I'm still laughing because I couldn't say it, and acted like a little 12 year old throwing a hissy and walked off crying into the bedroom.
But she was the most supportive she's possibly ever been.
So. Am I a freak for not being able to eat in front on people anymore?
I couldn't even it my damn Xmas dinner! That sucks.
And it's pretty annoying when you've got something on your mind that you can't quite figure out.
Today, it pretty much all came out through tears. And the relief! The relief is so good. A little weight lifted of those weak shoulders.
Right now. I should be eating. With some family. But I'm not there because of this 'freak' problem.
For some reason. I can't eat in front of more than 2 or 3 people. Sounds so simple, yet when you're actually in that situation it's so hard to deal with. One tiny piece of food, whether it's a carrot or a piece of small meat. I will instantly feel sick due to the smell or sight of it.
It's the feeling too that makes it worse. If I find out I've got to go for a meal with people I haven't seen for a very long time, the nervous feeling will kick in making it worse. Sicky feeling.
There hasn't actually been a time, yet, where I've thrown up in front of them. Thankfully! But everytime food slides slowly down the back of my throat it'll make me want to heave.
But today it came out a little more than I expected.
To my mum. Standing at the top of the stairs saying Sorry. Sorry for acting awkward for the past couple of days. She pointed that out.
I'm still laughing because I couldn't say it, and acted like a little 12 year old throwing a hissy and walked off crying into the bedroom.
But she was the most supportive she's possibly ever been.
So. Am I a freak for not being able to eat in front on people anymore?
I couldn't even it my damn Xmas dinner! That sucks.
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Good advice.
As a wise man once said, “alcohol, the cause of and solution to most of life’s problems”.
As a wise man once said, “alcohol, the cause of and solution to most of life’s problems”.
Thanks Clazon. Nice piece of advice there :)
sorry i missed out the last posts cos i thought youd just started it. oh well. i dont have a clue as to what it could be. its strange and a bit silly because you must like these people and like the food. keep on talking and try and ignore the food, by eating but keeping eyecontact with friends and have a quick swish of a drink now and again. alternatively seek help...
English_Bloke wrote:
> Ok, lets just say my truncheon probably extends a little less now.
Oh. Ow! Ahh!
> Ok, lets just say my truncheon probably extends a little less now.
Oh. Ow! Ahh!
Clazon wrote:
> i dont seewhy you would have a problem like this... so yes, you are a
> freak.
Lol. Why thank you. :D
> apparently smiling stops the wretching
Is that true? Maybe I'll give it a try sometime!
And I'm not going to see a phychiatrist you fooool!
> i dont seewhy you would have a problem like this... so yes, you are a
> freak.
Lol. Why thank you. :D
> apparently smiling stops the wretching
Is that true? Maybe I'll give it a try sometime!
And I'm not going to see a phychiatrist you fooool!
Ok, lets just say my truncheon probably extends a little less now.
i dont seewhy you would have a problem like this... so yes, you are a freak.
apparently smiling stops the wretching feeling and you should ask a doctor or see a psychiatrist about it. when did it start?
apparently smiling stops the wretching feeling and you should ask a doctor or see a psychiatrist about it. when did it start?
English_Bloke wrote:
I think that says it all.
Does it? Which .. part of your body did you hurt ? You didn't mention..
I think that says it all.
Does it? Which .. part of your body did you hurt ? You didn't mention..
Ms NY wrote:
> Why do parents cry when they see you cry? Bless.
They don't like to see you in pain, I guess.
I haven't cried in quite a while, the last time I did was due to an accident at the beach. Getting off a sun lounging thingy, moved over to the edge, something happened with one of the springs that connects the material to the metal frame…I think that says it all.
> Why do parents cry when they see you cry? Bless.
They don't like to see you in pain, I guess.
I haven't cried in quite a while, the last time I did was due to an accident at the beach. Getting off a sun lounging thingy, moved over to the edge, something happened with one of the springs that connects the material to the metal frame…I think that says it all.
English_Bloke wrote:
> Do you hate silences?
I love silences.
> If you haven’t seen these people for a while and you meet up in a
> non-eating situation, do you still feel sick?
Nope. That's the weird thing about it.
> It’s just that if you’re eating with people, there are quiet periods,
> unless they talk with the mouths open…and that would be likely to make
> you feel sick for a different reason.
LOL. True, but that doesn't seem to bother me as much anymore seeing as I'm around people who do it all the time.
Hell, it'll all be sorted in a couple of hours. Gotta have a deep talk with my mum. :S Hha, I made her cry.
Why do parents cry when they see you cry? Bless.
> Do you hate silences?
I love silences.
> If you haven’t seen these people for a while and you meet up in a
> non-eating situation, do you still feel sick?
Nope. That's the weird thing about it.
> It’s just that if you’re eating with people, there are quiet periods,
> unless they talk with the mouths open…and that would be likely to make
> you feel sick for a different reason.
LOL. True, but that doesn't seem to bother me as much anymore seeing as I'm around people who do it all the time.
Hell, it'll all be sorted in a couple of hours. Gotta have a deep talk with my mum. :S Hha, I made her cry.
Why do parents cry when they see you cry? Bless.
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