Viewing Thread:
"Does that make you a freak?"

See, this has been on my mind for over 10 months or so.
And it's pretty annoying when you've got something on your mind that you can't quite figure out.

Today, it pretty much all came out through tears. And the relief! The relief is so good. A little weight lifted of those weak shoulders.

Right now. I should be eating. With some family. But I'm not there because of this 'freak' problem.
For some reason. I can't eat in front of more than 2 or 3 people. Sounds so simple, yet when you're actually in that situation it's so hard to deal with. One tiny piece of food, whether it's a carrot or a piece of small meat. I will instantly feel sick due to the smell or sight of it.
It's the feeling too that makes it worse. If I find out I've got to go for a meal with people I haven't seen for a very long time, the nervous feeling will kick in making it worse. Sicky feeling.

There hasn't actually been a time, yet, where I've thrown up in front of them. Thankfully! But everytime food slides slowly down the back of my throat it'll make me want to heave.

But today it came out a little more than I expected.
To my mum. Standing at the top of the stairs saying Sorry. Sorry for acting awkward for the past couple of days. She pointed that out.
I'm still laughing because I couldn't say it, and acted like a little 12 year old throwing a hissy and walked off crying into the bedroom.
But she was the most supportive she's possibly ever been.
So. Am I a freak for not being able to eat in front on people anymore?

I couldn't even it my damn Xmas dinner! That sucks.

Black Glove wrote:
> I'm the opposite: I struggle to eat when alone, because when I do the
> food starts jabbering to me.
> Cheese sandwiches inform me that I'm going to die, and chips [those
> strips of semi-yellow evil] convince me that the world is going to
> end unless I draw and undraw the curtains precisely 78 times.
> Once I had to dress-up as Cohan the Barbarian and headbutt 3 sheep
> before sunset, all because a slice of cherry pie threatened to kill
> my cat.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

that's not funnny now, is it.

Mr Pínk wrote:
> *coughs in a manor suggesting he is awaiting praise*
>
> Hope you feel better about yourself now.

Huh?! Thanks? Thanks!! I did say thank you.. I think! But it means a lot for anybody to reply! Honestly, it does. Whether I don't/didn't write it, I still look at these replies and think "Aw! So kind!".
:)

Ms NY wrote:
> Aw! You lot are so unbelievably helpful! Thanks so much Lil Ginge.
> Some very fitting words there! :)

*coughs in a manor suggesting he is awaiting praise*

Hope you feel better about yourself now.

Aw! You lot are so unbelievably helpful! Thanks so much Lil Ginge. Some very fitting words there! :)

Your not a freak, the problem is phscological so you need to eventually build yourself up over it.

Ms NY your not a freak. You have a problem that nobody you know has. That makes you feel isolated and feel weird but you are by no way a freak hun!
Like debuk said you have a phobia that lots and lots of people deal with...it can be fixed! You could do so many things to help - doctors,counceling, psychiatric help and even changing the way you see things.

Maybe instead of immediatly panicking fight the feelings you have. Try to see it as a challenge. Your simply doing a natural prosess with people. Maybe think if I can drink, play football, fly, walk with groups of people I KNOW I can do this.

Anyway what ever you do, thinking bad things about yourself like being a freak will amke it worse.

Your not..your a dude

I suppose in one way it's as bad as eating too much, a problem I seem to be having at the moment.

You do need to visit the doctor though, I don't hold with psycho..sorry, psychiatrists but you should get your stomach and blood checked out in case it is more than just something in your head.

I have real bad trouble when it comes to family meals. Not eating or anything, just the fact that I dislike most of my family, and have never really got on with any of them, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. I dunno how I managed it, but I'm so different from all of them, it makes me wonder if I was adopted. No laughing matter, but sometimes I seriously do wish I was and then I could go and live with my real parents.

Thanks so much for the links! They were very helpful to learn of it. Especially reading about other people who are having the same problem..

Thanks so much :)

P.S.

I thought these might help:

http://www.behavioralconsultants.com/ Disorders/social.htm
http://www.bu.edu/anxiety/socphob.html
http://www.behavioralconsultants.com/_disc4/00000090.htm