GetDotted Domains

Viewing Thread:
"I think I need to help someone, and I'm not sure how."

The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.

Fri 18/07/03 at 10:40
Regular
Posts: 787
This is about a girl. It always is, I suppose – no-one writes topics about blokes on here. Not meaningful ones. That’s something worth taking into consideration, because, despite the platonic tone I am keen to emphasize, I wouldn’t be typing this if the girl was a boy. But perhaps that’s just the way people are, I don’t know.

This is a girl called Skoda. She’s a ballet dancer. Some of you might remember her from a thing on a trampoline last summer (Jebus, have I been posting here that long?). She’s probably one of my best friends, when I think about it. I’ve known her since year 8 – I’ve just finished my GCSEs, so that makes it 4 years. That’s a long time.

Here is the problem. She’s funning crazy now. Not crazy in a mentally impaired way, but in a ‘better to burn out than fade away’ way. She’s a heavy drinker – she won’t just have a couple of alcopops, she’ll drink until she drops.

And frequently does. I’m not usually there, but you hear stories. Falling down in the middle of roads, that was 2 Fridays ago. Week before that, she ended up at my house. I wasn’t here, I was in Penzance. But my older sister (21, back from uni) had to rescue her in a pub, and bring her back here to vomit and cry. My sister hasn’t seen Skoda for years, but they used to be ballet dancers together.

Of course, this could only be a problem in my head. Maybe I just want to save her in a nice dramatic Dawsons Creek way, I don’t know. After all, if I really wanted to help someone, I should try the alcoholic in the village, because he definitely needs saving. But I don’t want to do that, and nor does anybody else, so they won’t. And he’ll die, there’s no question about that.

The other thing is sex. She’s 16, she can sleep with people, I don’t care. But she does. A lot. She had a boyfriend for 3 months, that was good, that was steady. But that broke up a couple of weeks ago, so she’s single now. I don’t know…obviously she wouldn’t do it if she didn’t enjoy it, and I’m not in any position to tell her what she does and doesn’t enjoy. But I just think, in the long run, she’s going to get so emotionally hurt.

Because she’s gorgeous. Absolutely drop dead gorgeous. And nobody disputes that. It’s not just her figure, it’s the way she moves. Everything about her, her laugh, everything, just makes you want to, in Goatboys words, ‘pole her’. And people will pretend to care about her just so they can touch that body. And at some point she’s going to reach for someone, and they’re not going to be there, not on an emotional level.

Just to note, I’m absolutely and totally in love with my girlfriend, so, although I admit Skoda is fit, there’s not a thought of anything happening between us. Because my girlfriend is the best. Completely and utterly the best.

So this my point, and this is what I want replies to. Other than this helping me sort out how I feel, this being carthetic (is that a word?), I need to know if I should try to do something. Because, in 2 years time, I couldn’t bear to see that she’s still in the state that she’s in. Because I don’t think she’s happy. I don’t think she’s happy at all.
Fri 18/07/03 at 10:40
Regular
"I am Bumf Ucked"
Posts: 3,669
This is about a girl. It always is, I suppose – no-one writes topics about blokes on here. Not meaningful ones. That’s something worth taking into consideration, because, despite the platonic tone I am keen to emphasize, I wouldn’t be typing this if the girl was a boy. But perhaps that’s just the way people are, I don’t know.

This is a girl called Skoda. She’s a ballet dancer. Some of you might remember her from a thing on a trampoline last summer (Jebus, have I been posting here that long?). She’s probably one of my best friends, when I think about it. I’ve known her since year 8 – I’ve just finished my GCSEs, so that makes it 4 years. That’s a long time.

Here is the problem. She’s funning crazy now. Not crazy in a mentally impaired way, but in a ‘better to burn out than fade away’ way. She’s a heavy drinker – she won’t just have a couple of alcopops, she’ll drink until she drops.

And frequently does. I’m not usually there, but you hear stories. Falling down in the middle of roads, that was 2 Fridays ago. Week before that, she ended up at my house. I wasn’t here, I was in Penzance. But my older sister (21, back from uni) had to rescue her in a pub, and bring her back here to vomit and cry. My sister hasn’t seen Skoda for years, but they used to be ballet dancers together.

Of course, this could only be a problem in my head. Maybe I just want to save her in a nice dramatic Dawsons Creek way, I don’t know. After all, if I really wanted to help someone, I should try the alcoholic in the village, because he definitely needs saving. But I don’t want to do that, and nor does anybody else, so they won’t. And he’ll die, there’s no question about that.

The other thing is sex. She’s 16, she can sleep with people, I don’t care. But she does. A lot. She had a boyfriend for 3 months, that was good, that was steady. But that broke up a couple of weeks ago, so she’s single now. I don’t know…obviously she wouldn’t do it if she didn’t enjoy it, and I’m not in any position to tell her what she does and doesn’t enjoy. But I just think, in the long run, she’s going to get so emotionally hurt.

Because she’s gorgeous. Absolutely drop dead gorgeous. And nobody disputes that. It’s not just her figure, it’s the way she moves. Everything about her, her laugh, everything, just makes you want to, in Goatboys words, ‘pole her’. And people will pretend to care about her just so they can touch that body. And at some point she’s going to reach for someone, and they’re not going to be there, not on an emotional level.

Just to note, I’m absolutely and totally in love with my girlfriend, so, although I admit Skoda is fit, there’s not a thought of anything happening between us. Because my girlfriend is the best. Completely and utterly the best.

So this my point, and this is what I want replies to. Other than this helping me sort out how I feel, this being carthetic (is that a word?), I need to know if I should try to do something. Because, in 2 years time, I couldn’t bear to see that she’s still in the state that she’s in. Because I don’t think she’s happy. I don’t think she’s happy at all.
Fri 18/07/03 at 15:07
Regular
"Brownium Motion"
Posts: 4,100
Hmmm...I'm pretty shocked that no-one's even replied to this. Probably because they can't offer any good advice?

Let me tell you a story.

I was at University and there was a guy who was known to love his drink. He was verging on being an alcoholic - he used to come around our flats in the mid afternoon half drunk and sell us bottles of wine cheap (or should that be cheap bottles of wine?)and he'd then come back a few hours later when the pubs were shut trying to buy the same bottles off us for a higher amount. He did have a drink problem but we were all too drunk/stupid/stoned to notice or even care. After all we were all having the time of our life weren't we?

No.

One day I recall not seeing him for about a day - he used to be a regular in our flat and always came round (we lived a big courtyard where about 70 4-bedroom flats were) in the evening. I was wondering where he got to so my mate and I traipsed over to his flat to get him to come down the pub with us. Alas, we realised he was sleeping when we were let into his flat by his flatmate. My mate started shaking him and then we realised he was heavily drunk - so much so that he wasn't even responding on even the most basic level. We got a bit worried when everything we did didn't provoke a reaction so we called an ambulance. They took him away and after a while we the doctor told us he had slipped into a coma due to the excessive amount he had drunk the night before. He was lucky to be alive even on this sentient level, we were told. After keeping a bedside vigil for a couple of months, the doctor told us he was going to recommended the life support system to be switched off. His parents had agreed to it and he left this world in an ungainly fashion.


Moral of the story? It's best to notice a problem and respond sooner rather than later. Sometimes there is no later. Maybe you should speak to your friend.
Fri 18/07/03 at 15:16
Posts: 643
Hmmm.

There's nothing worse than watching a friend throw their life down the proverbial toilet.

I say try to talk to her. Don't preach, just see if you can get her to open up a bit. Sit her down and ask her if she's ok, and don't let her just nod and say "yeah, you?" try to dig up the specifics.

But be warned, being the knight in shining armour and saving the damsel in distress from emotional instability often leads to momentary desires for physical gratification on one or both sides. These are fleeting, and if taken advantage of, regretable. Especially if, as you say, you have a girlfriend that you love very much.
Fri 18/07/03 at 15:27
Regular
"joypadjunkies.com"
Posts: 206
I know what it is like being around people who drink and sometimes it can be really scarey to see them drunk. I know how they don't tell anyone they are doing it, even though you know they are drunk. You've got to get help! Either she is going to hurt herself or someone could even end up phyiscally or mentally hurting her, and take advantage of her drunken periods. You should talk to anyone you know and trust too, and maybe they could help.Drinking can become a serious problem and its best to get this sorted now before it goes any further.

Does your friend drink loads because its fun, or has she got any worries or anything she is trying to block out...Either way she needs help before there is something serious to worry about.

Hope i was of some help.

You being such a good friend i am sure you know in your heart what to do, but dont get yourself in a situation what is difficult for yourself to handle.
Fri 18/07/03 at 15:32
Regular
"Best Price @ GAME :"
Posts: 3,812
Off topic here, @ngel, you didn't by chance happen to be on that old Dobedo chat thing did you ? I know it's a long shot but someone I knew on there had the same name. Odds are you aren't but thought it was worth asking.

*has flashback* Ah yes, the days of Dobedo havoc...
Fri 18/07/03 at 17:54
Regular
"Subliminal messenge"
Posts: 1,039
My Dad used to be friends with this guy who was really kind and very bright. Now, because of alcohol, he can't talk properly, he can't tell what your saying and he gets very confused and is slow, soon he will be dead and it will be a terrible waste of life. Do something.
Fri 18/07/03 at 18:04
Regular
"joypadjunkies.com"
Posts: 206
Practical Magic wrote:
> Off topic here, @ngel, you didn't by chance happen to be on that old
> Dobedo chat thing did you ? I know it's a long shot but someone I knew
> on there had the same name. Odds are you aren't but thought it was
> worth asking.
>
> *has flashback* Ah yes, the days of Dobedo havoc...

No sorry im afraid not :(
Fri 18/07/03 at 20:08
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
Skoda? That's an interesting name. She sounds very nice, but like many, drink has taken over. Did she drink much before now? I know some people try to make up for lost time if they didn't drink from an early age. A lot of people at my 6th form did that when we were 17/18. I'd been drinking longer than most, so the fun of it had died down. Everyone else was getting lashed every single week. Seemed daft to me.

Anyway, I'm definitely not the drinker of my group. I like a couple of beers from time to time socially, and I'll drink for special occasions, but I'm not somebody who says "Right, it's Friday... let's get hammered and throw up." My mates are like that.

I'm always trying to warn them that they drink too much, and they know they do. Let this girl know what you think, even if it's in a joking way. Depending on how she respondes, talk to her seriously about it. Ask her not to get angry but you think she should cut back. Take her out yourself, make sure she doesn't drink too much (if it's just you two, possibly some good friends and nobody else you know, she's not as likely to drink all night) Basically, don't go into religious zealot mode with her, don't act like a parent, just let her know.
Fri 18/07/03 at 20:31
Regular
"You've upset me"
Posts: 21,152
I've seen people get seriously screwed up by alchohol and drug abuse. People who mean a lot to me. And it's so painful to watch them, mashed off their faces or high every single night. You watch them slowly degenerate and it's heart-wrenching. It turned out well for the people I know, they got help and got clean; it may not turn out well for Skoda (heh, I remember that thread :-)). Talk to her. You really should.
Fri 18/07/03 at 20:44
Regular
"I am Bumf Ucked"
Posts: 3,669
Yup, you lot have got it right. I'll definitely go talk to her - she'll be at a party I'm going to tommorow night if I'm lucky. If not, I'll invite her over.

Oh, and thanks for the 'damsel in distress' warning, whoever it was.

Freeola & GetDotted are rated 5 Stars

Check out some of our customer reviews below:

The coolest ISP ever!
In my opinion, the ISP is the best I have ever used. They guarantee 'first time connection - everytime', which they have never let me down on.
Continue this excellent work...
Brilliant! As usual the careful and intuitive production that Freeola puts into everything it sets out to do, I am delighted.

View More Reviews

Need some help? Give us a call on 01376 55 60 60

Go to Support Centre
Feedback Close Feedback

It appears you are using an old browser, as such, some parts of the Freeola and Getdotted site will not work as intended. Using the latest version of your browser, or another browser such as Google Chrome, Mozilla Firefox, or Opera will provide a better, safer browsing experience for you.