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"Muuh, spiders!!!!"

I hate spiders, but the worst thing is going into the bathroom late at night, turning on the light and finding there are loads all around you. Sometimes I wake up and they're squashed in my sheets too. It's like the spiders in my house are all charles Bronson in Deathwish, or something.

I hate spiders, but the worst thing is going into the bathroom late at night, turning on the light and finding there are loads all around you. Sometimes I wake up and they're squashed in my sheets too. It's like the spiders in my house are all charles Bronson in Deathwish, or something.

There was a big mutha spider on my roof the other day, right in the hall outside my room.

So I reach and grab the hoover and plug it in, as I reach up the hoover goes off (its a bit broken).

I eventually got it going and got rid of it.
Muuuuh

There was one in my bathroom the other night

I kept an eye on it while I was peeing

On your roof, outside?

I don't approve of killing spiders, they can't help it that they put the fear of Morgan Freeman in me. I always try to get rid of them as humanely as possible, just sometimes they try and snuggle up with me in bed at night and I don't like that one bit.

All around you in the bathroom?!
IN YOUR BED?!

I don't think that's normal. In fact I'd say your house was overrun with them.

I'd leave Spiders alone; it's not like they've ever killed anyone is it?

Exactly. Did you know the average person eats around eight spiders in their sleep throughout their life?

Rubbish! Complete crap.

I think you'll find it's nine.

The sagacious one wrote:
> I'd leave Spiders alone; it's not like they've ever killed anyone is
> it?

Yeah, SURE. That's just what they want you to think.

Who's ever suffered a spider attack and lived to tell the tale?
NO-ONE.
That's because no-one survives a spider attack. Just because no-one's lived to tell people "a spider tried to kill me" doesn't mean it never happened.

Memorandum wrote:
> The sagacious one wrote:
> I'd leave Spiders alone; it's not like they've ever killed anyone is
> it?
>
> Yeah, SURE. That's just what they want you to think.
>
> Who's ever suffered a spider attack and lived to tell the tale?
> NO-ONE.
> That's because no-one survives a spider attack. Just because no-one's
> lived to tell people "a spider tried to kill me" doesn't
> mean it never happened.

Maybe some of them are cunning like a fox who has eight legs and a completely different DNA structure to other foxes, and use a deadly poison or something. I know that this might be controversial but it might just work.