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"Confused..."

Do you ever get the feeling that your real self, who you actually are, is held back because you get into a certain way of life, and daren't change how you are, or who you are ?

That's kind of what I'm wondering about recently. My room is filled with things I supposedly like - comics, books, figures, consoles and tons of stuff from over the years. I'm wondering how much of it I really do like, and what is just still here because I'm afraid to abandon things, to change.

On the wall by the side of my bed a large American flag hangs, covering part of the wall. Recently part of me wonders why that is still there, what it stands for now... whether it is something I still want to hang there.

There's just loads of things like that, things I have I wonder why I still have them, why I even bought them in the first place, it's like part of me doesn't want to let go of something I used to like, or in some cases, believe in.

As most of you may know, as Belldandy, I had some pretty strong beliefs in certain things, but beliefs are tested and recently my belief in them has susided in many cases, but as you've maybe seen, I still slip back to them every so often. It's like I've changed my mind but daren't commit to something new for some mystifying reason.

I'll be amazed if any of this makes any sense to anyone, I'm a little confused right now about some things.

Practical Magic wrote:
> Yes, I admit that may be the case, but given that Light is the only
> one to be so cynical...
>

Please, spare me your self-pitying bleat. After the trash you've posted, d'you blame me?
> Still, suppose I can best convince him by continuing.

Yup, though that's not just about convincing me. I'd hope you'd continue in this vein for your own sake.

Yes, I admit that may be the case, but given that Light is the only one to be so cynical...

Still, suppose I can best convince him by continuing.

True.
But you have to admit Bell, given the "I was wait for it.." post, it could be a little difficult to accept things you say, however well intentioned.

Maybe, but you yourself Goatboy have said before you didn't associate yourself with most of the campaigns such as Stop The War.

Except for all the anti-war posts.

I could argue with you Light, but I'm not really bothered what you say, it'd end as it always did and serve no point. At least I know that whatever I was I was never that cynical of those around me.

...said the boy who cried wolf.

Well, I hope you're being honest for once. It'll be nice to see you argue rather than simply blindly stating your point over and over and over...

I didn't expect you to believe Light, frankly I can't say as it matters to me, except to say everything I have said here is genuine, and from now on always will be.

Just read this thread...

And I'd love to believe that you are genuinely going through a period of self-analysis. With luck, you'll realise that doggedly spouting an opinion whilst refusing point blank to entertain to any possible alternatives not only weakens your position but alienates anyone whom you try and discuss it with, and means you don't learn from a debate.

However, based on your past history ("It was just a test...") I just don't believe a word of what you've written.

Not that it makes any difference, but what the hey...

Now thats a new one Biggles have you actually tried that yourself??