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I don't know why I'm doing this. Its just something I need to get of my chest. This forum is called Life, so here is a little bit of my Life story
A couple of you know that although I'm engaged, The Ogre wasn't my First Love. FirstLove was a boy I met a school, Actually I met him at primary school, and we had always sort of been friends, but we both we with different groups of friends. I was a school-lover, book studier, teachers pet. (On the surface at least) and he was in one of those crowds that were always getting in to trouble, and in fights. Two different worlds.
Until Sixth Form. I stayed on to do my A-Levels and FirstLove stayed to do GNVQs (this might tell you something about the academic gap between us). My little clique of A-Level friends had started really annoying me. A couple of the guys were seeing girls from the year above us, and they were pretty horrible about them behind their backs. It all got a bit much for me and I started spending more and more time with the less academically gifted, but nicer GNVQ group.
It was all very innocent (at least on my part). Apart from one night of fumbling with the jack.the.lad of the sixth form, I was niaeve as hell. Over that year I had two boyfriends the first was a Tart and the second I nicknamed Bunion. I left Tart for Bunion, who in his turn left me for his Ex-Fiancee (was my fault, I shouldn't have tempted him away in the first place, and to be honest she held all the cards since there was no way I was going to sleep with him). I'd just got over a very bad virus (which the Doctors though might have been meningitus in viral form) and so I took a bit of a knock (I'm digressing).
The point is FirstLove had always told me that my boyfriends were bad choices. I'd thought that he was saying it in a friendly way, but on the Last day before Christmas hols that year I ended up in bed with him (again it was all fairly innocent). Of course then I didn't want to seem keen , so I didn't ring him, and of course I didn't see him at all over the holidays.
Time went on, there were always flirty glances going on between us, but the timing was always off, one of us would always be with somebody else, and to be honest I never thought I was good enough for him. Occasionally we would both be single at the same time, and we would mess around together, but nothing major ever happened between us.
Until thr summer before I left for University and FirstLove stabbed a man (A gay man who came on to him - I don't ccondone homophobia, but considering some ofthe stuff I think he may have gone through at the hands of his stepdad I sort of understand). None of his friends except me stood by him. I think we had a sort of a bond. That summer he asked me to be his Girlfriend, but I didn't want to be tied down to someone at home, when I was going of to Uni where there would be loads of new people (and I still felt as if I wasn't good enough for him), and although by this point I knew I had very strong feelings for him, I turned him down.
You probably know the next bit. I went away to Uni and within 3 weeks I had met, slept with and started going out with The Ogre.
Fast forward a Year to my second year. Falling in love with the Ogre made me realise that actually I was in Love with FirstLove (Silly how these things happen). I called him up, and we talked, we talked everynight for weeks and weeks, and I told him how I felt. He asked me to leave The Ogre, but I couldn't. We stayed friends, but I moved to Hull eventually and the friendship tailed off.
I stood at a crossroads and I took the easiest path. Someone similar to me, someone of similar intellegence, music taste etc. I never knew if I took the right path.
The other day I found out (from somebody else) FirstLove is going to be a father. His Girlfriend is pregnant. It brought back old memories and they needed an outlet, which is why I'm posting here, because lets face it. there is no way I could disscus this with my best friend.
A couple of you know that although I'm engaged, The Ogre wasn't my First Love. FirstLove was a boy I met a school, Actually I met him at primary school, and we had always sort of been friends, but we both we with different groups of friends. I was a school-lover, book studier, teachers pet. (On the surface at least) and he was in one of those crowds that were always getting in to trouble, and in fights. Two different worlds.
Until Sixth Form. I stayed on to do my A-Levels and FirstLove stayed to do GNVQs (this might tell you something about the academic gap between us). My little clique of A-Level friends had started really annoying me. A couple of the guys were seeing girls from the year above us, and they were pretty horrible about them behind their backs. It all got a bit much for me and I started spending more and more time with the less academically gifted, but nicer GNVQ group.
It was all very innocent (at least on my part). Apart from one night of fumbling with the jack.the.lad of the sixth form, I was niaeve as hell. Over that year I had two boyfriends the first was a Tart and the second I nicknamed Bunion. I left Tart for Bunion, who in his turn left me for his Ex-Fiancee (was my fault, I shouldn't have tempted him away in the first place, and to be honest she held all the cards since there was no way I was going to sleep with him). I'd just got over a very bad virus (which the Doctors though might have been meningitus in viral form) and so I took a bit of a knock (I'm digressing).
The point is FirstLove had always told me that my boyfriends were bad choices. I'd thought that he was saying it in a friendly way, but on the Last day before Christmas hols that year I ended up in bed with him (again it was all fairly innocent). Of course then I didn't want to seem keen , so I didn't ring him, and of course I didn't see him at all over the holidays.
Time went on, there were always flirty glances going on between us, but the timing was always off, one of us would always be with somebody else, and to be honest I never thought I was good enough for him. Occasionally we would both be single at the same time, and we would mess around together, but nothing major ever happened between us.
Until thr summer before I left for University and FirstLove stabbed a man (A gay man who came on to him - I don't ccondone homophobia, but considering some ofthe stuff I think he may have gone through at the hands of his stepdad I sort of understand). None of his friends except me stood by him. I think we had a sort of a bond. That summer he asked me to be his Girlfriend, but I didn't want to be tied down to someone at home, when I was going of to Uni where there would be loads of new people (and I still felt as if I wasn't good enough for him), and although by this point I knew I had very strong feelings for him, I turned him down.
You probably know the next bit. I went away to Uni and within 3 weeks I had met, slept with and started going out with The Ogre.
Fast forward a Year to my second year. Falling in love with the Ogre made me realise that actually I was in Love with FirstLove (Silly how these things happen). I called him up, and we talked, we talked everynight for weeks and weeks, and I told him how I felt. He asked me to leave The Ogre, but I couldn't. We stayed friends, but I moved to Hull eventually and the friendship tailed off.
I stood at a crossroads and I took the easiest path. Someone similar to me, someone of similar intellegence, music taste etc. I never knew if I took the right path.
The other day I found out (from somebody else) FirstLove is going to be a father. His Girlfriend is pregnant. It brought back old memories and they needed an outlet, which is why I'm posting here, because lets face it. there is no way I could disscus this with my best friend.
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I'm very happy really. I'd never say this stuff outside of here and my diary. It's just memories really.
Well, I guess this comes down to choice.
A lot of people don't want to get tied down before they go to University and your no different Ros.
As long as you love the 'ogre' and don't regret what has happened then think of it as nice memory.
Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain. (believe me)
P.S. I will hopefully, marry my first Love (maybe next year?) we met at university and are very happy.
A lot of people don't want to get tied down before they go to University and your no different Ros.
As long as you love the 'ogre' and don't regret what has happened then think of it as nice memory.
Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain. (believe me)
P.S. I will hopefully, marry my first Love (maybe next year?) we met at university and are very happy.
I have a crush on matt.
He told me he was my FirstLove (no spaces allowed)
I tried to run away, but he has long arms.
He told me he was my FirstLove (no spaces allowed)
I tried to run away, but he has long arms.
You got accused of wearing eyeliner?
I keep winding my, tough mans man boss about when he was wearing blusher for a TV appearance. He said it was the cold, but we all know better.
Incidentally.
SHEEPY wrote:
> rar.
You could be Beelzebub himself...
I keep winding my, tough mans man boss about when he was wearing blusher for a TV appearance. He said it was the cold, but we all know better.
Incidentally.
SHEEPY wrote:
> rar.
You could be Beelzebub himself...
I have a crush on SHEEPY.
I was only joking. I was accused of wearing it though... but it just seems I have dark eyes.
Like satan, rar.
Like satan, rar.
SHEEPY wrote:
> I need my hair cut
Me too.
> And a shave
Just had one.
> And some eyeliner
I have mascara, will that do?
Oh good, it’s just started to rain.
> I need my hair cut
Me too.
> And a shave
Just had one.
> And some eyeliner
I have mascara, will that do?
Oh good, it’s just started to rain.
I need my hair cut
And a shave
And some eyeliner
And a shave
And some eyeliner
Nice sheepy and by the way can't believe i spent 1000 days on this forum...
Ah, it must be love then.
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