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I don't know why I'm doing this. Its just something I need to get of my chest. This forum is called Life, so here is a little bit of my Life story
A couple of you know that although I'm engaged, The Ogre wasn't my First Love. FirstLove was a boy I met a school, Actually I met him at primary school, and we had always sort of been friends, but we both we with different groups of friends. I was a school-lover, book studier, teachers pet. (On the surface at least) and he was in one of those crowds that were always getting in to trouble, and in fights. Two different worlds.
Until Sixth Form. I stayed on to do my A-Levels and FirstLove stayed to do GNVQs (this might tell you something about the academic gap between us). My little clique of A-Level friends had started really annoying me. A couple of the guys were seeing girls from the year above us, and they were pretty horrible about them behind their backs. It all got a bit much for me and I started spending more and more time with the less academically gifted, but nicer GNVQ group.
It was all very innocent (at least on my part). Apart from one night of fumbling with the jack.the.lad of the sixth form, I was niaeve as hell. Over that year I had two boyfriends the first was a Tart and the second I nicknamed Bunion. I left Tart for Bunion, who in his turn left me for his Ex-Fiancee (was my fault, I shouldn't have tempted him away in the first place, and to be honest she held all the cards since there was no way I was going to sleep with him). I'd just got over a very bad virus (which the Doctors though might have been meningitus in viral form) and so I took a bit of a knock (I'm digressing).
The point is FirstLove had always told me that my boyfriends were bad choices. I'd thought that he was saying it in a friendly way, but on the Last day before Christmas hols that year I ended up in bed with him (again it was all fairly innocent). Of course then I didn't want to seem keen , so I didn't ring him, and of course I didn't see him at all over the holidays.
Time went on, there were always flirty glances going on between us, but the timing was always off, one of us would always be with somebody else, and to be honest I never thought I was good enough for him. Occasionally we would both be single at the same time, and we would mess around together, but nothing major ever happened between us.
Until thr summer before I left for University and FirstLove stabbed a man (A gay man who came on to him - I don't ccondone homophobia, but considering some ofthe stuff I think he may have gone through at the hands of his stepdad I sort of understand). None of his friends except me stood by him. I think we had a sort of a bond. That summer he asked me to be his Girlfriend, but I didn't want to be tied down to someone at home, when I was going of to Uni where there would be loads of new people (and I still felt as if I wasn't good enough for him), and although by this point I knew I had very strong feelings for him, I turned him down.
You probably know the next bit. I went away to Uni and within 3 weeks I had met, slept with and started going out with The Ogre.
Fast forward a Year to my second year. Falling in love with the Ogre made me realise that actually I was in Love with FirstLove (Silly how these things happen). I called him up, and we talked, we talked everynight for weeks and weeks, and I told him how I felt. He asked me to leave The Ogre, but I couldn't. We stayed friends, but I moved to Hull eventually and the friendship tailed off.
I stood at a crossroads and I took the easiest path. Someone similar to me, someone of similar intellegence, music taste etc. I never knew if I took the right path.
The other day I found out (from somebody else) FirstLove is going to be a father. His Girlfriend is pregnant. It brought back old memories and they needed an outlet, which is why I'm posting here, because lets face it. there is no way I could disscus this with my best friend.
A couple of you know that although I'm engaged, The Ogre wasn't my First Love. FirstLove was a boy I met a school, Actually I met him at primary school, and we had always sort of been friends, but we both we with different groups of friends. I was a school-lover, book studier, teachers pet. (On the surface at least) and he was in one of those crowds that were always getting in to trouble, and in fights. Two different worlds.
Until Sixth Form. I stayed on to do my A-Levels and FirstLove stayed to do GNVQs (this might tell you something about the academic gap between us). My little clique of A-Level friends had started really annoying me. A couple of the guys were seeing girls from the year above us, and they were pretty horrible about them behind their backs. It all got a bit much for me and I started spending more and more time with the less academically gifted, but nicer GNVQ group.
It was all very innocent (at least on my part). Apart from one night of fumbling with the jack.the.lad of the sixth form, I was niaeve as hell. Over that year I had two boyfriends the first was a Tart and the second I nicknamed Bunion. I left Tart for Bunion, who in his turn left me for his Ex-Fiancee (was my fault, I shouldn't have tempted him away in the first place, and to be honest she held all the cards since there was no way I was going to sleep with him). I'd just got over a very bad virus (which the Doctors though might have been meningitus in viral form) and so I took a bit of a knock (I'm digressing).
The point is FirstLove had always told me that my boyfriends were bad choices. I'd thought that he was saying it in a friendly way, but on the Last day before Christmas hols that year I ended up in bed with him (again it was all fairly innocent). Of course then I didn't want to seem keen , so I didn't ring him, and of course I didn't see him at all over the holidays.
Time went on, there were always flirty glances going on between us, but the timing was always off, one of us would always be with somebody else, and to be honest I never thought I was good enough for him. Occasionally we would both be single at the same time, and we would mess around together, but nothing major ever happened between us.
Until thr summer before I left for University and FirstLove stabbed a man (A gay man who came on to him - I don't ccondone homophobia, but considering some ofthe stuff I think he may have gone through at the hands of his stepdad I sort of understand). None of his friends except me stood by him. I think we had a sort of a bond. That summer he asked me to be his Girlfriend, but I didn't want to be tied down to someone at home, when I was going of to Uni where there would be loads of new people (and I still felt as if I wasn't good enough for him), and although by this point I knew I had very strong feelings for him, I turned him down.
You probably know the next bit. I went away to Uni and within 3 weeks I had met, slept with and started going out with The Ogre.
Fast forward a Year to my second year. Falling in love with the Ogre made me realise that actually I was in Love with FirstLove (Silly how these things happen). I called him up, and we talked, we talked everynight for weeks and weeks, and I told him how I felt. He asked me to leave The Ogre, but I couldn't. We stayed friends, but I moved to Hull eventually and the friendship tailed off.
I stood at a crossroads and I took the easiest path. Someone similar to me, someone of similar intellegence, music taste etc. I never knew if I took the right path.
The other day I found out (from somebody else) FirstLove is going to be a father. His Girlfriend is pregnant. It brought back old memories and they needed an outlet, which is why I'm posting here, because lets face it. there is no way I could disscus this with my best friend.
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I wrote a very long reply but I just lost it
I am sex
That should sum it up
I am sex
That should sum it up
Hedfix wrote:
If you have a girlfriend and another girl
> likes you. Would you go for the new girl? What about the next new
> girl? and so on
Of course you would stick to the one you love (your girlfriend)...... its obvious unless your unhappy.
If you have a girlfriend and another girl
> likes you. Would you go for the new girl? What about the next new
> girl? and so on
Of course you would stick to the one you love (your girlfriend)...... its obvious unless your unhappy.
I didn't say anything about anyone.
Talking about my feelings about me and how I percieve the world.
Which is the only way I do talk, especially about personal issues.
I haven't questioned anyone else's methods or opinions...did you actually read my post?
"smart move to talk this way"??
Like I care about what people think about me, especially an internet forum. What will happen? The Keyboard Cool Gang will disown me?
Talking about my feelings about me and how I percieve the world.
Which is the only way I do talk, especially about personal issues.
I haven't questioned anyone else's methods or opinions...did you actually read my post?
"smart move to talk this way"??
Like I care about what people think about me, especially an internet forum. What will happen? The Keyboard Cool Gang will disown me?
Goatboy wrote:
> Yup.
> I'm 30.
> Over a third of the way through my life and have done the formative
> years.
> I'm a lot more certain of who I am and what I want from life than I
> was at even 25, let alone 18. I thought I knew it all, was the
> smartest, wiliest creature on the planet.
> Well guess what? I wasn't. I was just like every other frightened kid
> concerned about Uni/exams/girlfriends/peer pressure etc etc.
>
> Not anymore.
> My experiences through life, many good and many bad, have led me to
> where I am today. And I wouldnt change a single thing because without
> those experiences, I would be a different person.
> What works for me in my life will not be true for anyone else, but
> that also holds true in return.
> The way I live works for Goatboy. And I'm having the time of my life
> thangyouverymuch
no offence mate, but you're coming across rather patronising. i'm 25 and do not consider myself a 'frightened kid', telling someone that they don't know anything because they are young is not the way to win respect.
I'm pleased your enjoying your life and have found an equilibrium in your existence, but that doesn't give you the right to question other peoples methods of doing things, or their opinions. And for another thing, you 'older' posters seem to be a minority, so it doesn't seem like the smart move to talk in this way. Maturity is a state of mind my friend.
> Yup.
> I'm 30.
> Over a third of the way through my life and have done the formative
> years.
> I'm a lot more certain of who I am and what I want from life than I
> was at even 25, let alone 18. I thought I knew it all, was the
> smartest, wiliest creature on the planet.
> Well guess what? I wasn't. I was just like every other frightened kid
> concerned about Uni/exams/girlfriends/peer pressure etc etc.
>
> Not anymore.
> My experiences through life, many good and many bad, have led me to
> where I am today. And I wouldnt change a single thing because without
> those experiences, I would be a different person.
> What works for me in my life will not be true for anyone else, but
> that also holds true in return.
> The way I live works for Goatboy. And I'm having the time of my life
> thangyouverymuch
no offence mate, but you're coming across rather patronising. i'm 25 and do not consider myself a 'frightened kid', telling someone that they don't know anything because they are young is not the way to win respect.
I'm pleased your enjoying your life and have found an equilibrium in your existence, but that doesn't give you the right to question other peoples methods of doing things, or their opinions. And for another thing, you 'older' posters seem to be a minority, so it doesn't seem like the smart move to talk in this way. Maturity is a state of mind my friend.
Wow Goatboy, you don't look a day over 2 years 150 days old...
Ineedsleep wrote:
> Anyway, you have to take into account that Goatboy is now nearer 50
> then say, 10, so his view on the way to live life to the fullest is
> based on his own experiences.
---
Yup.
I'm 30.
Over a third of the way through my life and have done the formative years.
I'm a lot more certain of who I am and what I want from life than I was at even 25, let alone 18. I thought I knew it all, was the smartest, wiliest creature on the planet.
Well guess what? I wasn't. I was just like every other frightened kid concerned about Uni/exams/girlfriends/peer pressure etc etc.
Not anymore.
My experiences through life, many good and many bad, have led me to where I am today. And I wouldnt change a single thing because without those experiences, I would be a different person.
What works for me in my life will not be true for anyone else, but that also holds true in return.
The way I live works for Goatboy. And I'm having the time of my life thangyouverymuch
> Anyway, you have to take into account that Goatboy is now nearer 50
> then say, 10, so his view on the way to live life to the fullest is
> based on his own experiences.
---
Yup.
I'm 30.
Over a third of the way through my life and have done the formative years.
I'm a lot more certain of who I am and what I want from life than I was at even 25, let alone 18. I thought I knew it all, was the smartest, wiliest creature on the planet.
Well guess what? I wasn't. I was just like every other frightened kid concerned about Uni/exams/girlfriends/peer pressure etc etc.
Not anymore.
My experiences through life, many good and many bad, have led me to where I am today. And I wouldnt change a single thing because without those experiences, I would be a different person.
What works for me in my life will not be true for anyone else, but that also holds true in return.
The way I live works for Goatboy. And I'm having the time of my life thangyouverymuch
They don't call life a b!tch for nothing you know. I know how you feel Ros, exes are tempting. You think of the good times and especially if things are a bit bumpy with the current squeeze then you think stuff it.
There always is so many what ifs. Some genuinely are life changing. But you have to just put it down to experience and live with it. You can't turn back time. With hindsight, I would if I could, but with some of the stuff I have been through over the years I came out as a stronger person. By now FirstLove will have changed. He won't be the same person you fell in love with years ago. It is easy to lose sight of that.
But you are with Ogre now. Hold on to that. If you lose it, then in a few years time you will write another post just like today.
Goatboy said seize the moment. Well carpe diem is a great ideal. I try it. I remember once upon a time seizing the wrong moment. It was horrible. Went so badly wrong it was unbelievable.
I guess my point is that there is no point. You just have to live life. Sometimes you have to vent and that is what we are here for. Things happen. Dont worry about it. Regrets or no regrets, it is all just one big learning experience. Try not to be bitter about it.
Enjoy. You probably have another 40 to 50 years of life, the hardest game you will ever play.
There always is so many what ifs. Some genuinely are life changing. But you have to just put it down to experience and live with it. You can't turn back time. With hindsight, I would if I could, but with some of the stuff I have been through over the years I came out as a stronger person. By now FirstLove will have changed. He won't be the same person you fell in love with years ago. It is easy to lose sight of that.
But you are with Ogre now. Hold on to that. If you lose it, then in a few years time you will write another post just like today.
Goatboy said seize the moment. Well carpe diem is a great ideal. I try it. I remember once upon a time seizing the wrong moment. It was horrible. Went so badly wrong it was unbelievable.
I guess my point is that there is no point. You just have to live life. Sometimes you have to vent and that is what we are here for. Things happen. Dont worry about it. Regrets or no regrets, it is all just one big learning experience. Try not to be bitter about it.
Enjoy. You probably have another 40 to 50 years of life, the hardest game you will ever play.
Goatboy did say he seizes the moments he wants to and it does not mean going from one extreme to the other.
Seize the moment in this context, I believe, means take advantage of any good things that come your way. As often as you can or whenever you can as it is no good regretting the missed opportunities later in life. It often involves occasions when you're with friends or a loved one so in no way are you likely to become self centered or self absorbed.
Anyway, you have to take into account that Goatboy is now nearer 50 then say, 10, so his view on the way to live life to the fullest is based on his own experiences.
Seize the moment in this context, I believe, means take advantage of any good things that come your way. As often as you can or whenever you can as it is no good regretting the missed opportunities later in life. It often involves occasions when you're with friends or a loved one so in no way are you likely to become self centered or self absorbed.
Anyway, you have to take into account that Goatboy is now nearer 50 then say, 10, so his view on the way to live life to the fullest is based on his own experiences.
English_Bloke wrote:
> Maybe for a little while, but I think it would be fairly unfulfilling
> in the long run. I mean, just look at Fonzy. He was the man, but he
> would cut a fairly sad lonely figure when he’s 50.
---
Who cares about the long run??
When I'm 50 I'll see what has happened and where I am.
Right now, I am young with zero ties so I'm going for it in whatever way I want to.
Used to live in fear and operate in regret but not anymore.
Not for everyone but it works for me.
Not saying it's good or bad for anyone but me.
> Maybe for a little while, but I think it would be fairly unfulfilling
> in the long run. I mean, just look at Fonzy. He was the man, but he
> would cut a fairly sad lonely figure when he’s 50.
---
Who cares about the long run??
When I'm 50 I'll see what has happened and where I am.
Right now, I am young with zero ties so I'm going for it in whatever way I want to.
Used to live in fear and operate in regret but not anymore.
Not for everyone but it works for me.
Not saying it's good or bad for anyone but me.
Hedfix wrote:
> I'm not trying to. I'm just saying seizing every moment wouldn't work
> out well. You would steal from work and flout laws and sooner or later
> you'd get caught. Then the moments you were able to seize would be
> dramatically reduced.
---
Seizing a moment doesn't mean, to me, breaking laws or doing bad stuff.
To me, if an opportunity for happiness presents itself, be it asking a stranger for a date/buying that CD-DVD-Game/going to Scotland for the weekend on a whim.
These are the things I cannot deny myself through fear of "What if" or "What would they think"
Positive moments.
> I'm not trying to. I'm just saying seizing every moment wouldn't work
> out well. You would steal from work and flout laws and sooner or later
> you'd get caught. Then the moments you were able to seize would be
> dramatically reduced.
---
Seizing a moment doesn't mean, to me, breaking laws or doing bad stuff.
To me, if an opportunity for happiness presents itself, be it asking a stranger for a date/buying that CD-DVD-Game/going to Scotland for the weekend on a whim.
These are the things I cannot deny myself through fear of "What if" or "What would they think"
Positive moments.
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