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It finally makes sence... I never looked at it this way before: MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause, GUYnocologist & when we have REAL trouble its a HIStorectomy! Ever notice how women's problems start with MEN?
All i could think of then was seeing the word woMEN!
Gees you MEN get everywhere!
All i could think of then was seeing the word woMEN!
Gees you MEN get everywhere!
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The issues between men and women centres around misplaced expectations.
Personally, I expect women to be vain, self-centred gatherers of precious and semi-precious trinkets, fueled by a need for superfluousness, validation and sources of media which allow them to look down on people that are, if they were honest with themselves, better than them.
On this understanding, I get on well with most women.
Personally, I expect women to be vain, self-centred gatherers of precious and semi-precious trinkets, fueled by a need for superfluousness, validation and sources of media which allow them to look down on people that are, if they were honest with themselves, better than them.
On this understanding, I get on well with most women.
I suppose it's one way to keep the word count up. :)
Good stuff.
Good stuff.
Just bored really, got to keep some of you amused!
Having a bit of a posting frenzy?
Thank ye, some of those are great ... :)
Thank ye, some of those are great ... :)
The Rules
The female always makes the rules.
The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No male can possibly know all the rules.
If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all the rules.
The female is never wrong.
If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
The female can change her mind at any given point in time for any reason.
The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.
The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
The female must not, under any circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
Any attempt by the male to document these rules could result in severe bodily harm.
If the female has PMS, all rules are null and void
The female always makes the rules.
The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No male can possibly know all the rules.
If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all the rules.
The female is never wrong.
If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
The female can change her mind at any given point in time for any reason.
The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.
The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
The female must not, under any circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
Any attempt by the male to document these rules could result in severe bodily harm.
If the female has PMS, all rules are null and void
Why Beer Is Better Than Women
* You can enjoy a beer all month long.
* Beer stains wash out.
* You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
* Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play ball.
* If your beer is flat, you can toss it out.
* Beer is never late.
* A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
* A hangover will go away.
* Beer labels come off without a fight.
* When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
* A beer never has a headache.
* A beer will never nag you.
* A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.
* If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
* A beer always goes down easy.
* You can share a beer with friends.
* You always know if you're the first one to pop a beer.
* A beer is always wet.
* A beer doesn't demand equality.
* You can have a beer in public.
* A beer doesn't care what time you come home.
* A frigid beer is a good beer.
* You don't have to wash a beer for it to taste good.
* If you decide to change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
* You can enjoy a beer all month long.
* Beer stains wash out.
* You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
* Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play ball.
* If your beer is flat, you can toss it out.
* Beer is never late.
* A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
* A hangover will go away.
* Beer labels come off without a fight.
* When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
* A beer never has a headache.
* A beer will never nag you.
* A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.
* If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
* A beer always goes down easy.
* You can share a beer with friends.
* You always know if you're the first one to pop a beer.
* A beer is always wet.
* A beer doesn't demand equality.
* You can have a beer in public.
* A beer doesn't care what time you come home.
* A frigid beer is a good beer.
* You don't have to wash a beer for it to taste good.
* If you decide to change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
The Top 10 reasons why a handgun is better than a woman
#10 - You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.
#9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for
when you're on the road.
#8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he
will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a
backup.
#6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of
ammo.
#5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
#4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month.
#3 - A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look
fat?"
#2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you
use it.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THAT A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A
WOMAN . . . You can buy a silencer for a handgun.
#10 - You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.
#9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for
when you're on the road.
#8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he
will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a
backup.
#6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of
ammo.
#5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
#4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month.
#3 - A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look
fat?"
#2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you
use it.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THAT A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A
WOMAN . . . You can buy a silencer for a handgun.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What Men Know About Women"
What's the difference between a man and E.T?
E.T. phoned home
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist
"What Men Know About Women"
What's the difference between a man and E.T?
E.T. phoned home
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
Class! :D
My fav has ot to be the Plants one, lol :P
My fav has ot to be the Plants one, lol :P
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