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"Yesterday, I took £70 out of the bank."

It was all in £10 notes because the machine was out of twenties. There was nothing in my wallet but some change.

I bought some trousers and a shirt in a sale for £25, that leave me with £45, 4 £10 notes.

I bought 2 CDs for about £23, that left me with 2 £10 notes.

I went out and got drunk, I broke AT LEAST one tenner during the night, even though Wetherspoons is disturbingly cheap (£2 for a double, sounds good to me) , someone bought me a few drinks because he's rich and stupid like that and I could afford 4 drinks with the change I had.

I woke up this morning with £20 in my wallet, two crisp £10 notes.

I am confused.

Yeah a pint of fosters is about £1.70, great deal considering what the pubs around here charge.

Wetherspoons is a chain of bar/restaurants that serve remarkably cheap alcohol from 10am and do a wide variety of foods.

Nah, there was no money in my wallet at the start of the day except about £3-4 in change left there because I didn't eat lunch for a few days in the week.

Where's Weatherspoons?

Someone mentioned it to me the other day...

Unless there's a whole chain of them?

Simple Solution:

You have money in your wallet plus the £70 you took out, it was hiding.

You got really drunk, collapsed in ditch on way home. Some black substance was present in the area, you woke up and stumbled home. Only to phone the girl you fancy but then erm went to bed.

Da da

Possible, but unlikely as I don't like marmite.

I'd assume that I fell over on the way home and managed to hit the ground hard enough to leave marks on my hands, but I'm entirely unbruised and nothing aches.

You were hungry so you decided t buy a sandwich, but you only had enough spare change for the marmite and not the bread (couldn't find your wallet/too lazy to get it out of your pocket/whatever), so you sloppily devoured it on your way home.

That's plausible, right?

Or maybe you tarred and feathered someone.

BEARDS. wrote:
> El Blokey wrote:
> What kind of dirty?
>
> Looked and felt a bit like tar to be honest, hard to get off black
> stuff.

Aha! You built a time machine, travelled back to the prehistoric era, fell hands first into a tar pit when you exited the machine, and then quickly travelled back to your own time, shaken by the tar's stickyness.

El Blokey wrote:
> What kind of dirty?

Looked and felt a bit like tar to be honest, hard to get off black stuff.

BEARDS. wrote:
> cookie monster wrote:
> BEARDS. wrote:
> No I didn't kill anyone, especially not the King of Scotland.
>
> How can you be sure?
>
> Good point. But my hands were more black than red.

Maybe you killed an alien instead, thus saving the world from a full scale invasion.

BEARDS-saviour of earth.