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"F.E.A.R"

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Mon 10/03/03 at 13:24
Regular
Posts: 787
I'm writing today because it has struck me that the vast majority of us live our lives in fear and I find this rather strange. I'm not talking about the kind of pant-wetting fear that leaves one a meek and quivering wreck with heart palpitations that would be more suited to a field mouse than a human being (I'm sure you know the feeling; I last experienced it when I was about 12 and some Neanderthal in a scruffy school uniform decided that what I really needed was to have face moved about 3 inches across my skull via the means of a sustained beating). I'm talking about the low-grade fear that seems to permeate everybodies life but is so commonplace that we don't even think about it any more.

Let me give you an example; I'm an intelligent person. I'm not being any more arrogant than usual by saying that. However, I'm also very verbose and florid when I speak and that can give the impression that I know more than I actually do. Anyway to cut a long story short, I've been told that many of my work colleagues and casual acquaintances are scared of me. And the reason for this? Well it would appear that they are scared that I will think that they are stupid, and so they will not talk to me or around me as much or as freely as normal.

I find this rather strange. Arrogant I may be, but I'm not so full of myself to think that my opinion matters a damn to most people, so why do certain of my friends feel this way? I'm sure I'm not the only person to have ever experienced this; being a university graduate is an excellent way of putting some non-graduates on the defensive. Being an Oxbridge graduate is a superb way of making non-Oxbridge types feel that they have to prove their intelligence (in fact, now that I come to think of it, I'm guilty of that myself). There can't be much doubt that a lot of seem to have a fear of appearing stupid in some way, but for the life of me I can't figure out why this should be. Is it a childhood thing; do we all still worry about being laughed at by the rest of the class? Or is it a self-esteem issue; we're so riddled with neurosis that we feel that if we know less than another person then we are inferior to them?

Now clearly my perspective on this comes from my own experience, but I'm 100% sure that this isn't the only area of our life that generates hot, dull fear for us. Physical appearance is yet another. I used to have hair of a fairly normal length and so I went about my day generally unnoticed by passing strangers. Then, in a fit of drunken bravado, I shaved my hair off. The very next morning as I was walking to the shops an old lady looked up, saw me approaching, and with a few fearful glances back at me, crossed the street to avoid me. In contrast to that, many moons ago I had *very* long hair. This earned me tuts of disapproval from my parents and their peers, as well as a few beatings from some quite charming gentlemen who, apparently, didn't like "hippies".

The reactions that I've described should be familiar to all of us. Who among us has not felt one's heart race when walking alone and noticing a man who is either big, shaven headed, ferocious looking etc? And yet despite the Daily Mail's attempts to convince us otherwise, random beatings are an incredibly rare occurrence. I personally haven't been hit by or fought with anybody since school, but I still find myself a little nervous if I'm in the situation I just described. I suppose the reason for the fear we may feel for people of a certain appearance is easier to explain than our fear of looking stupid. It's not difficult to think of book, film, or TV examples of the bad guys being big, shaven headed thugs, and so the stereotype is reinforced endlessly and we all continue to feel fear about people we don't even know for no other reason than their appearance. (For the record, I've grown my hair again; I'm getting sick of being looked at like a violent thug who is searching for his next victim).

The final example of this fear is a one that I personally have no experience of. Women mainly experience it but it is by no means exclusive to them. It is particularly prevalent when gaggles of women are on a night out. I'm referring of course to how threatened many women feel by another woman whom they perceive as more attractive than them. Lest you be in any doubt, watch the look on a lady's face as an attractive women glides past her. Believe me, sometimes I've seen hatred in their eyes! As a further example of this, a friend of mine was talking about an old schoolmate of his. She was rather good looking, to the extent that she is now a part-time model and is in a relationship with a fitness instructor (and also part-time model). And the reaction of on of the women who was listening? "B***h!".

Now I don't mean to belittle anyone here (after all, of the three types of daily fear that I've described, this one is by far and away the funniest...) but aren't we all being a little...well, insecure about ourselves? Why can't we be happy with the way we look, or the way we think? Why do people feel the need to be the cleverest and best-looking person out of everybody? Is it because we are striving to better ourselves, or trying to pull others down to our level? It's food for thought anyway.
Mon 10/03/03 at 14:01
"Darkness, always"
Posts: 9,603
Fencing was no fun. I was the only left handed person there, and by default the best fencer.

It's actually a great exercise though, much more than you would think. But yes, not much good in a brawl.
Mon 10/03/03 at 14:00
Regular
"I ush!"
Posts: 922
I think that the intelligence thing is something to do with a fear of failure. You'll notice that townie yobbish scum won't be the least bit intimidated if you use a long word that they don't understand, and will probably instead just chase you and beat you with sticks.

As with the graduate/undergraduate/oxbridge graduate thing I'm not sure that I totally agree. I know people who didn't go to uni, and people who went to oxbridge. Generally the guys I associate are pretty sound, otherwise why would I associate with them? But just because they are educated doesn't mean that they aren't c0cks. If you are going to try and lord your education over someone you fit into that category. Similarly if people feel intimidated by your education that's their problem. From what I've heard from the oxbridge graduates uni life there seems to be totally different, and if I had my time again I still wouldn't go.

I think a lot of the fear aspect is the media bringing bad things to our attention (possibly a bit like your topic title, F.E.A.R), and you can't blame people for being cautious. In fact a little bit of fear is a good thing, and essential in society so long as it doesn't make a great impact on the way you live your life.

Reminds me last week the guy from the ex army store was on the news reporting how he'd been inundated by requests for gas masks in response to the constant terrorist threat.
Mon 10/03/03 at 14:00
"Darth Vader 3442321"
Posts: 4,031
Insane Bartender wrote:

In my time I've also had forays into the worlds of
> fencing

always useful in a pub brawl.

"I'm gonna smash yer face in!"

"Hold on you peon I'll send a squire to fetch my epee"

THUMP!
Mon 10/03/03 at 13:44
Regular
"Not your monkey"
Posts: 2,104
Insane Bartender wrote:
> Further, while I'm neither huge, nor necessarily in magnificent shape,
> I was boxing properly by the time I was 8, at which point I also took
> up Karate and Judo. In my time I've also had forays into the worlds of
> fencing, Ninjitsu and Ngo Cho Kung Fu. I fear no bald, muscle-bound
> illiterates, as, while I may not be the toughest man in the world, I
> can give most "default hardmen" a good run for their
> money.



Trying to imagine this, but keep thinking of you as a porntrooper, wearing pink fluffy handcuffs.

Its not working.
;-)
Mon 10/03/03 at 13:44
Regular
"Brownium Motion"
Posts: 4,100
Heh heh! You must be feeling The Rage then.

I usually have the backup of my MASSIVE Canadian friend if I ever get into a fight. But I haven't had any sort of fight or scuffle for 2 years now.

Heh heh, I was just recalling saying to my Canadian mate, "Do you want to bum a fag off me?" and witnessing his expression. Classic!
Mon 10/03/03 at 13:38
"Darkness, always"
Posts: 9,603
A few things. As someone who wanted to become a Uni graduate, and failed on financial grounds, it may be strange to you that I not only don't fear anyone on the basis that they have graduated, but I also find that many of them have somehow, inexplicably, become quite astonishingly stupid in the process of attaining their degree.

I've lost count of the number of times these supposedly fantastic individuals fall at the first hurdle when trying to do something complicated on any given application, applications which they should all have years of experience with, and they come crying to me for help. Me, who taught myself everything I know about all office applications, and could run a helpdesk blindfolded for the most part.

"How do you do this" they ask, and I reply "press the ****ing button with that very task written on it."

Further, while I'm neither huge, nor necessarily in magnificent shape, I was boxing properly by the time I was 8, at which point I also took up Karate and Judo. In my time I've also had forays into the worlds of fencing, Ninjitsu and Ngo Cho Kung Fu. I fear no bald, muscle-bound illiterates, as, while I may not be the toughest man in the world, I can give most "default hardmen" a good run for their money.

But that point's rather moot, a I rarely try to start a fight without the aid of several alcoholic beverages.

I remember once starting on some rugby player because he insisted that the Spice Girls were "fantastic" both he and I had to be dragged apart as he drunkenly slurred insults about my mother while I screamed, if I recall, that I was going to "crush his skull".

Ah, memories.
Mon 10/03/03 at 13:36
Regular
"Brownium Motion"
Posts: 4,100
Why did you put the word "FEAR" as an acronym, Light? Something to do with the Ian Brown song of the same name?

Good post. One drunken night out, my friends and i concluded that there were two basic emotions inherent in all of us - The Fear and The Rage. Not sure how, but we managed to come up with valid, logical reasons why these two emotions are prevalent in us all.

Only 70 more posts to go!
Mon 10/03/03 at 13:24
Regular
"Wanking Mong"
Posts: 4,884
I'm writing today because it has struck me that the vast majority of us live our lives in fear and I find this rather strange. I'm not talking about the kind of pant-wetting fear that leaves one a meek and quivering wreck with heart palpitations that would be more suited to a field mouse than a human being (I'm sure you know the feeling; I last experienced it when I was about 12 and some Neanderthal in a scruffy school uniform decided that what I really needed was to have face moved about 3 inches across my skull via the means of a sustained beating). I'm talking about the low-grade fear that seems to permeate everybodies life but is so commonplace that we don't even think about it any more.

Let me give you an example; I'm an intelligent person. I'm not being any more arrogant than usual by saying that. However, I'm also very verbose and florid when I speak and that can give the impression that I know more than I actually do. Anyway to cut a long story short, I've been told that many of my work colleagues and casual acquaintances are scared of me. And the reason for this? Well it would appear that they are scared that I will think that they are stupid, and so they will not talk to me or around me as much or as freely as normal.

I find this rather strange. Arrogant I may be, but I'm not so full of myself to think that my opinion matters a damn to most people, so why do certain of my friends feel this way? I'm sure I'm not the only person to have ever experienced this; being a university graduate is an excellent way of putting some non-graduates on the defensive. Being an Oxbridge graduate is a superb way of making non-Oxbridge types feel that they have to prove their intelligence (in fact, now that I come to think of it, I'm guilty of that myself). There can't be much doubt that a lot of seem to have a fear of appearing stupid in some way, but for the life of me I can't figure out why this should be. Is it a childhood thing; do we all still worry about being laughed at by the rest of the class? Or is it a self-esteem issue; we're so riddled with neurosis that we feel that if we know less than another person then we are inferior to them?

Now clearly my perspective on this comes from my own experience, but I'm 100% sure that this isn't the only area of our life that generates hot, dull fear for us. Physical appearance is yet another. I used to have hair of a fairly normal length and so I went about my day generally unnoticed by passing strangers. Then, in a fit of drunken bravado, I shaved my hair off. The very next morning as I was walking to the shops an old lady looked up, saw me approaching, and with a few fearful glances back at me, crossed the street to avoid me. In contrast to that, many moons ago I had *very* long hair. This earned me tuts of disapproval from my parents and their peers, as well as a few beatings from some quite charming gentlemen who, apparently, didn't like "hippies".

The reactions that I've described should be familiar to all of us. Who among us has not felt one's heart race when walking alone and noticing a man who is either big, shaven headed, ferocious looking etc? And yet despite the Daily Mail's attempts to convince us otherwise, random beatings are an incredibly rare occurrence. I personally haven't been hit by or fought with anybody since school, but I still find myself a little nervous if I'm in the situation I just described. I suppose the reason for the fear we may feel for people of a certain appearance is easier to explain than our fear of looking stupid. It's not difficult to think of book, film, or TV examples of the bad guys being big, shaven headed thugs, and so the stereotype is reinforced endlessly and we all continue to feel fear about people we don't even know for no other reason than their appearance. (For the record, I've grown my hair again; I'm getting sick of being looked at like a violent thug who is searching for his next victim).

The final example of this fear is a one that I personally have no experience of. Women mainly experience it but it is by no means exclusive to them. It is particularly prevalent when gaggles of women are on a night out. I'm referring of course to how threatened many women feel by another woman whom they perceive as more attractive than them. Lest you be in any doubt, watch the look on a lady's face as an attractive women glides past her. Believe me, sometimes I've seen hatred in their eyes! As a further example of this, a friend of mine was talking about an old schoolmate of his. She was rather good looking, to the extent that she is now a part-time model and is in a relationship with a fitness instructor (and also part-time model). And the reaction of on of the women who was listening? "B***h!".

Now I don't mean to belittle anyone here (after all, of the three types of daily fear that I've described, this one is by far and away the funniest...) but aren't we all being a little...well, insecure about ourselves? Why can't we be happy with the way we look, or the way we think? Why do people feel the need to be the cleverest and best-looking person out of everybody? Is it because we are striving to better ourselves, or trying to pull others down to our level? It's food for thought anyway.

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