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I'm writing today because it has struck me that the vast majority of us live our lives in fear and I find this rather strange. I'm not talking about the kind of pant-wetting fear that leaves one a meek and quivering wreck with heart palpitations that would be more suited to a field mouse than a human being (I'm sure you know the feeling; I last experienced it when I was about 12 and some Neanderthal in a scruffy school uniform decided that what I really needed was to have face moved about 3 inches across my skull via the means of a sustained beating). I'm talking about the low-grade fear that seems to permeate everybodies life but is so commonplace that we don't even think about it any more.
Let me give you an example; I'm an intelligent person. I'm not being any more arrogant than usual by saying that. However, I'm also very verbose and florid when I speak and that can give the impression that I know more than I actually do. Anyway to cut a long story short, I've been told that many of my work colleagues and casual acquaintances are scared of me. And the reason for this? Well it would appear that they are scared that I will think that they are stupid, and so they will not talk to me or around me as much or as freely as normal.
I find this rather strange. Arrogant I may be, but I'm not so full of myself to think that my opinion matters a damn to most people, so why do certain of my friends feel this way? I'm sure I'm not the only person to have ever experienced this; being a university graduate is an excellent way of putting some non-graduates on the defensive. Being an Oxbridge graduate is a superb way of making non-Oxbridge types feel that they have to prove their intelligence (in fact, now that I come to think of it, I'm guilty of that myself). There can't be much doubt that a lot of seem to have a fear of appearing stupid in some way, but for the life of me I can't figure out why this should be. Is it a childhood thing; do we all still worry about being laughed at by the rest of the class? Or is it a self-esteem issue; we're so riddled with neurosis that we feel that if we know less than another person then we are inferior to them?
Now clearly my perspective on this comes from my own experience, but I'm 100% sure that this isn't the only area of our life that generates hot, dull fear for us. Physical appearance is yet another. I used to have hair of a fairly normal length and so I went about my day generally unnoticed by passing strangers. Then, in a fit of drunken bravado, I shaved my hair off. The very next morning as I was walking to the shops an old lady looked up, saw me approaching, and with a few fearful glances back at me, crossed the street to avoid me. In contrast to that, many moons ago I had *very* long hair. This earned me tuts of disapproval from my parents and their peers, as well as a few beatings from some quite charming gentlemen who, apparently, didn't like "hippies".
The reactions that I've described should be familiar to all of us. Who among us has not felt one's heart race when walking alone and noticing a man who is either big, shaven headed, ferocious looking etc? And yet despite the Daily Mail's attempts to convince us otherwise, random beatings are an incredibly rare occurrence. I personally haven't been hit by or fought with anybody since school, but I still find myself a little nervous if I'm in the situation I just described. I suppose the reason for the fear we may feel for people of a certain appearance is easier to explain than our fear of looking stupid. It's not difficult to think of book, film, or TV examples of the bad guys being big, shaven headed thugs, and so the stereotype is reinforced endlessly and we all continue to feel fear about people we don't even know for no other reason than their appearance. (For the record, I've grown my hair again; I'm getting sick of being looked at like a violent thug who is searching for his next victim).
The final example of this fear is a one that I personally have no experience of. Women mainly experience it but it is by no means exclusive to them. It is particularly prevalent when gaggles of women are on a night out. I'm referring of course to how threatened many women feel by another woman whom they perceive as more attractive than them. Lest you be in any doubt, watch the look on a lady's face as an attractive women glides past her. Believe me, sometimes I've seen hatred in their eyes! As a further example of this, a friend of mine was talking about an old schoolmate of his. She was rather good looking, to the extent that she is now a part-time model and is in a relationship with a fitness instructor (and also part-time model). And the reaction of on of the women who was listening? "B***h!".
Now I don't mean to belittle anyone here (after all, of the three types of daily fear that I've described, this one is by far and away the funniest...) but aren't we all being a little...well, insecure about ourselves? Why can't we be happy with the way we look, or the way we think? Why do people feel the need to be the cleverest and best-looking person out of everybody? Is it because we are striving to better ourselves, or trying to pull others down to our level? It's food for thought anyway.
Let me give you an example; I'm an intelligent person. I'm not being any more arrogant than usual by saying that. However, I'm also very verbose and florid when I speak and that can give the impression that I know more than I actually do. Anyway to cut a long story short, I've been told that many of my work colleagues and casual acquaintances are scared of me. And the reason for this? Well it would appear that they are scared that I will think that they are stupid, and so they will not talk to me or around me as much or as freely as normal.
I find this rather strange. Arrogant I may be, but I'm not so full of myself to think that my opinion matters a damn to most people, so why do certain of my friends feel this way? I'm sure I'm not the only person to have ever experienced this; being a university graduate is an excellent way of putting some non-graduates on the defensive. Being an Oxbridge graduate is a superb way of making non-Oxbridge types feel that they have to prove their intelligence (in fact, now that I come to think of it, I'm guilty of that myself). There can't be much doubt that a lot of seem to have a fear of appearing stupid in some way, but for the life of me I can't figure out why this should be. Is it a childhood thing; do we all still worry about being laughed at by the rest of the class? Or is it a self-esteem issue; we're so riddled with neurosis that we feel that if we know less than another person then we are inferior to them?
Now clearly my perspective on this comes from my own experience, but I'm 100% sure that this isn't the only area of our life that generates hot, dull fear for us. Physical appearance is yet another. I used to have hair of a fairly normal length and so I went about my day generally unnoticed by passing strangers. Then, in a fit of drunken bravado, I shaved my hair off. The very next morning as I was walking to the shops an old lady looked up, saw me approaching, and with a few fearful glances back at me, crossed the street to avoid me. In contrast to that, many moons ago I had *very* long hair. This earned me tuts of disapproval from my parents and their peers, as well as a few beatings from some quite charming gentlemen who, apparently, didn't like "hippies".
The reactions that I've described should be familiar to all of us. Who among us has not felt one's heart race when walking alone and noticing a man who is either big, shaven headed, ferocious looking etc? And yet despite the Daily Mail's attempts to convince us otherwise, random beatings are an incredibly rare occurrence. I personally haven't been hit by or fought with anybody since school, but I still find myself a little nervous if I'm in the situation I just described. I suppose the reason for the fear we may feel for people of a certain appearance is easier to explain than our fear of looking stupid. It's not difficult to think of book, film, or TV examples of the bad guys being big, shaven headed thugs, and so the stereotype is reinforced endlessly and we all continue to feel fear about people we don't even know for no other reason than their appearance. (For the record, I've grown my hair again; I'm getting sick of being looked at like a violent thug who is searching for his next victim).
The final example of this fear is a one that I personally have no experience of. Women mainly experience it but it is by no means exclusive to them. It is particularly prevalent when gaggles of women are on a night out. I'm referring of course to how threatened many women feel by another woman whom they perceive as more attractive than them. Lest you be in any doubt, watch the look on a lady's face as an attractive women glides past her. Believe me, sometimes I've seen hatred in their eyes! As a further example of this, a friend of mine was talking about an old schoolmate of his. She was rather good looking, to the extent that she is now a part-time model and is in a relationship with a fitness instructor (and also part-time model). And the reaction of on of the women who was listening? "B***h!".
Now I don't mean to belittle anyone here (after all, of the three types of daily fear that I've described, this one is by far and away the funniest...) but aren't we all being a little...well, insecure about ourselves? Why can't we be happy with the way we look, or the way we think? Why do people feel the need to be the cleverest and best-looking person out of everybody? Is it because we are striving to better ourselves, or trying to pull others down to our level? It's food for thought anyway.
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The super intelligent kid I knew, who's now at Oxford, was suprisingly street wise for someone like him, but that was simply because he attended a working class high school. When I see the public school kids on the Metro, I can't help but laugh at what will happen when they enter the real world.
I myself was pretty worried about it, but I got out on my own, went to a college where I didn't know anyone, got myself a job, and found out what the work place is like (in offices, at least)
Still living at home, and although I'd love to move out, it's not very realistic, especially since I finish work in less than a month.
I myself was pretty worried about it, but I got out on my own, went to a college where I didn't know anyone, got myself a job, and found out what the work place is like (in offices, at least)
Still living at home, and although I'd love to move out, it's not very realistic, especially since I finish work in less than a month.
I think a lot of people fear what other people may think of them, when most of the time people pay other people very little attention anyway.
I know what Light means by people's impression of people at, or who have graduated from, University. It's assumed that if you pass through one of the country's many institutions you a default genius and good person, and clearly that isn't the case.
Sadly the government, by continuing headlong with it's policy of getting more people in University, doesn't seem to recognise this.
University is only good for so many things. My course started with 80 people, on a course needing 28 points to enter on - that's grades AAB under the old A Level system - and yet we're down to 55 people in the middle of the second year. From what I've experienced, Univeristy courses only give you so much, if you can't think about things for yourself, and do things on your own initiative, then University will not change that.
There are still about six lads on the course who came from a private school, and never seem to fail to try and impress this on everyone they meet. I can honestly say that - and I'm including all the wonderful people I met whilst working at Woolworths before I left - those six are the most obnoxious, clueless, idiotic, inbred examples of why education means little. So far the best example has been one asking, loudly, whether 13:45 was in the afternoon.....and when one proudly pointed out Iraq on a map during a presentation, repeatedly, on five powerpoint slides, that had also got the label "Iraq", only to be told at the end that "Iraq" was actually Italy......
I know what Light means by people's impression of people at, or who have graduated from, University. It's assumed that if you pass through one of the country's many institutions you a default genius and good person, and clearly that isn't the case.
Sadly the government, by continuing headlong with it's policy of getting more people in University, doesn't seem to recognise this.
University is only good for so many things. My course started with 80 people, on a course needing 28 points to enter on - that's grades AAB under the old A Level system - and yet we're down to 55 people in the middle of the second year. From what I've experienced, Univeristy courses only give you so much, if you can't think about things for yourself, and do things on your own initiative, then University will not change that.
There are still about six lads on the course who came from a private school, and never seem to fail to try and impress this on everyone they meet. I can honestly say that - and I'm including all the wonderful people I met whilst working at Woolworths before I left - those six are the most obnoxious, clueless, idiotic, inbred examples of why education means little. So far the best example has been one asking, loudly, whether 13:45 was in the afternoon.....and when one proudly pointed out Iraq on a map during a presentation, repeatedly, on five powerpoint slides, that had also got the label "Iraq", only to be told at the end that "Iraq" was actually Italy......
Insane Bartender wrote:
> Fencing was no fun. I was the only left handed person there, and by
> default the best fencer.
>
> It's actually a great exercise though, much more than you would think.
> But yes, not much good in a brawl.
Kendo looks like it may be fun, being legally allowed to whack people repeatedly about the head with big sticks and dressing up like an Oriental Vader are two of my main ambitions in life. Again sadly lacking in the martial art defence of one's personage in a pub brawl scenario.
Maybe a good marital aid though.
> Fencing was no fun. I was the only left handed person there, and by
> default the best fencer.
>
> It's actually a great exercise though, much more than you would think.
> But yes, not much good in a brawl.
Kendo looks like it may be fun, being legally allowed to whack people repeatedly about the head with big sticks and dressing up like an Oriental Vader are two of my main ambitions in life. Again sadly lacking in the martial art defence of one's personage in a pub brawl scenario.
Maybe a good marital aid though.
Insane Bartender wrote:
> want to know who else was left handed?
-------
Paul McCartney is about as sinister as they come.
> want to know who else was left handed?
-------
Paul McCartney is about as sinister as they come.
...or the story about in CDT anbout the person who didn't firmly affix his school tie back and it got caught in the sanding machine and ended up ripping his head into miniscule pieces..
Unbeliever wrote:
>
> I did know that, actually. Somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain
> I remember reading that.
I remember it from an A level Physics lecture.
Unfortunately it didn't come up in the exam, and neither did the story of the teacher's mate whose hair turned white because a grenade landed on his foot, nor did how he lost his hearing in one ear due to a squash injury or how long it would take him to drive his heavily pregnant wife in to the hospital.
>
> I did know that, actually. Somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain
> I remember reading that.
I remember it from an A level Physics lecture.
Unfortunately it didn't come up in the exam, and neither did the story of the teacher's mate whose hair turned white because a grenade landed on his foot, nor did how he lost his hearing in one ear due to a squash injury or how long it would take him to drive his heavily pregnant wife in to the hospital.
Simon Says wrote:
> Did you know that the word sinister is derived from the latin for
> left,
> more than likely yes.
I did know that, actually. Somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain I remember reading that.
> Did you know that the word sinister is derived from the latin for
> left,
> more than likely yes.
I did know that, actually. Somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain I remember reading that.
want to know who else was left handed?
Jack the Ripper.
Another one?
the Boston Strangler.
Us sinister people are exactly that.
Jack the Ripper.
Another one?
the Boston Strangler.
Us sinister people are exactly that.
Unbeliever wrote:
> I'm left handed as well...
>
Woah, two gollyanders in the same forum.
Actually isn't it meant to be one in five people is left handed?
Did you know that the word sinister is derived from the latin for left,
more than likely yes.
In my Collins Gem dictionary sinister is defined as being threatening, evil looking or wicked, so it all ties in with the post about FEAR
isn't that funny,
no, but it's funniers than a sentance that makes no sense because it contains unlimited "and"s.
. . .
I'll stop typing now
> I'm left handed as well...
>
Woah, two gollyanders in the same forum.
Actually isn't it meant to be one in five people is left handed?
Did you know that the word sinister is derived from the latin for left,
more than likely yes.
In my Collins Gem dictionary sinister is defined as being threatening, evil looking or wicked, so it all ties in with the post about FEAR
isn't that funny,
no, but it's funniers than a sentance that makes no sense because it contains unlimited "and"s.
. . .
I'll stop typing now
I'm left handed as well...
Which means I'm very creative. Apparently. Shigsy is left handed so we've got something in common. Not that I'm comparing myself to him. Heaven forbid!
Which means I'm very creative. Apparently. Shigsy is left handed so we've got something in common. Not that I'm comparing myself to him. Heaven forbid!
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