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My friend Tom has deployed for Iraq today. Before he left, he asked me to marry him.
Actually, he's been asking me for the past month now. We've only known eachother for a little while, exchanging emails and pictures and chatting until sunrise over msn or on the telephone a lot. I've never physically met him, but we've grown quite fond of eachother and I do genuinely care about him. We've said we love eachother, like close friends would, given the exclusion of physical intimacy. Platonic love. As a matter of fact, we never delved into anything of a sexual nature in our conversations much at all. Maybe just wishing we were with eachother to give supporting hugs and snuggle and the like.. I think if we were actually together it'd be more than just snuggling honestly, because dayem..he's hot.
I just wonder of this urgency to want to marry.. I mean, I truly believe in the sanctity of marriage and I'm totally marriable and Tom is certainly a marriable candidate! Heh It just seems like soldiers going into the warzone exhibit such desperation and I think that maybe I wouldn't have said I would marry him so soon, if he was't going? Or maybe I would have, given my life is at such a crossroads. Hm..
He's a IED Finder/88Mike (transport), so he's got the front seat in crossfire. It's worrying that his battalion lost three guys already this past month. When he talks of what he'll encounter, he sounds skeptical of returning. It makes my eyes well-up and my heart hurt confronted with the greater odds that before this beautiful person and I can even merely touch eachother, he'd be taken..forever.
Lastnight, we talked about our wedding. We dreamed about how it would be when he got home. We talked about our children, his and mine..and how we'd have two of our own. We want lots of kids, never a dull moment. :) We talked about how our baby girl would have his Irish green eyes and pink undertones in her porcelain skin. We talked about our goals and ambitions.. About growing old together, swaying in a hammock in the backyard, sipping sangrias and star gazing. How we'd make wishes at sunset upon greenflash and hold eachother close.
I miss him already, but I look around me and my reality lacks the physical element of his existence. He's somewhat of a phantom, so to speak. How can I miss something I've never had? How can I embrace my emotions??
Now this war in the Middle East is at my doorstep and if it wasn't Tom knocking, I think I would have paid it no mind.
He rang before he left the airport this morning, as they were boarding the plane for a twenty hour journey into a different dimension. He cried. *tears* Bless his heart..
Anyways, thanks for just letting me just ramble. It's just so hard to know where to put any of this and keeping it inside is entirely debilitating for me today.
On the lighter side, heck, I'm getting married! Kinda crazy, I know..
Actually, he's been asking me for the past month now. We've only known eachother for a little while, exchanging emails and pictures and chatting until sunrise over msn or on the telephone a lot. I've never physically met him, but we've grown quite fond of eachother and I do genuinely care about him. We've said we love eachother, like close friends would, given the exclusion of physical intimacy. Platonic love. As a matter of fact, we never delved into anything of a sexual nature in our conversations much at all. Maybe just wishing we were with eachother to give supporting hugs and snuggle and the like.. I think if we were actually together it'd be more than just snuggling honestly, because dayem..he's hot.
I just wonder of this urgency to want to marry.. I mean, I truly believe in the sanctity of marriage and I'm totally marriable and Tom is certainly a marriable candidate! Heh It just seems like soldiers going into the warzone exhibit such desperation and I think that maybe I wouldn't have said I would marry him so soon, if he was't going? Or maybe I would have, given my life is at such a crossroads. Hm..
He's a IED Finder/88Mike (transport), so he's got the front seat in crossfire. It's worrying that his battalion lost three guys already this past month. When he talks of what he'll encounter, he sounds skeptical of returning. It makes my eyes well-up and my heart hurt confronted with the greater odds that before this beautiful person and I can even merely touch eachother, he'd be taken..forever.
Lastnight, we talked about our wedding. We dreamed about how it would be when he got home. We talked about our children, his and mine..and how we'd have two of our own. We want lots of kids, never a dull moment. :) We talked about how our baby girl would have his Irish green eyes and pink undertones in her porcelain skin. We talked about our goals and ambitions.. About growing old together, swaying in a hammock in the backyard, sipping sangrias and star gazing. How we'd make wishes at sunset upon greenflash and hold eachother close.
I miss him already, but I look around me and my reality lacks the physical element of his existence. He's somewhat of a phantom, so to speak. How can I miss something I've never had? How can I embrace my emotions??
Now this war in the Middle East is at my doorstep and if it wasn't Tom knocking, I think I would have paid it no mind.
He rang before he left the airport this morning, as they were boarding the plane for a twenty hour journey into a different dimension. He cried. *tears* Bless his heart..
Anyways, thanks for just letting me just ramble. It's just so hard to know where to put any of this and keeping it inside is entirely debilitating for me today.
On the lighter side, heck, I'm getting married! Kinda crazy, I know..
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Ladybird wrote:
> I love you Flocker!!!
And you only like him? You've known me longer, marry meeeeeee!
> I'm on the same wavelength, but the
> impending wedding will definitely be the undertone of our
> conversations. I just don't see "marriage" per say as
> the end-all to getting to know eachother, even if he wasn't in
> the military. I suppose that leads to a very good question..
> what does marriage mean to you? I'm sure you'd agree that it's
> a partnership in building a life together, based on mutual
> respect and love? I know that's a vague description, but a good
> foundation none the less..?
>
> Okay yo, I have to go to an interview now..brb! *hugs*
Next time it comes up, make it clear you want to get to know each other first.
What do i think of marriage. I've always swung between being for and against it. In the end i think it only has meaning if you attach meaning to it. The point is in how pointless it is, that you do it anyway. You can have the partnership, life, children, all of it without getting married.
> I love you Flocker!!!
And you only like him? You've known me longer, marry meeeeeee!
> I'm on the same wavelength, but the
> impending wedding will definitely be the undertone of our
> conversations. I just don't see "marriage" per say as
> the end-all to getting to know eachother, even if he wasn't in
> the military. I suppose that leads to a very good question..
> what does marriage mean to you? I'm sure you'd agree that it's
> a partnership in building a life together, based on mutual
> respect and love? I know that's a vague description, but a good
> foundation none the less..?
>
> Okay yo, I have to go to an interview now..brb! *hugs*
Next time it comes up, make it clear you want to get to know each other first.
What do i think of marriage. I've always swung between being for and against it. In the end i think it only has meaning if you attach meaning to it. The point is in how pointless it is, that you do it anyway. You can have the partnership, life, children, all of it without getting married.
Bleh, ignore everyone on here and get married. Crash and burn, its the only way to live. :)
Your friend seems to be suffering from a case of mortality and he seems to have sucked you right in there with him.
There is no lighter side to marrying someone you have never met. For goodness sake I have ‘friends’ I genuinely care about that I’ve never met and we share platonic love but once we met that could change. The physical side of a relationship is extremely important to a bloke including the ones who say it isn’t so to marry someone because of internet chat is beyond comprehension.
You already comment that “maybe I wouldn’t have said I would marry him so soon, if he was’t going?” so this has crossed your mind. Maybe you should have said “let’s meet up first – in a VERY crowded place” instead of yes.
How can you miss something you’ve never had? You are not missing it! You cannot miss something you have never had. You may be missing him but if you’ve been in close contact for a long time then this interaction is what you are missing. By the way – the dream sounds wonderful but believe me the reality is not so woven in such romantic notions.
I have friends who have gone to war zones and I worry about them. I even have a friend who is still a virgin but that didn’t make me feel in anyway like changing this fact before he went!
Last night you talked about your wedding, kids and growing old? I’m sorry but you both need a reality check
There is no lighter side to marrying someone you have never met. For goodness sake I have ‘friends’ I genuinely care about that I’ve never met and we share platonic love but once we met that could change. The physical side of a relationship is extremely important to a bloke including the ones who say it isn’t so to marry someone because of internet chat is beyond comprehension.
You already comment that “maybe I wouldn’t have said I would marry him so soon, if he was’t going?” so this has crossed your mind. Maybe you should have said “let’s meet up first – in a VERY crowded place” instead of yes.
How can you miss something you’ve never had? You are not missing it! You cannot miss something you have never had. You may be missing him but if you’ve been in close contact for a long time then this interaction is what you are missing. By the way – the dream sounds wonderful but believe me the reality is not so woven in such romantic notions.
I have friends who have gone to war zones and I worry about them. I even have a friend who is still a virgin but that didn’t make me feel in anyway like changing this fact before he went!
Last night you talked about your wedding, kids and growing old? I’m sorry but you both need a reality check
Ineedsleep wrote:
> How can you miss something you’ve never had? You are not missing
> it! You cannot miss something you have never had.
Trust me when i say it's possible, i dont want to go into specifics but you can miss the hope.
> How can you miss something you’ve never had? You are not missing
> it! You cannot miss something you have never had.
Trust me when i say it's possible, i dont want to go into specifics but you can miss the hope.
I still say it is impossible. You cannot miss something you have not experienced. You can, however, regret missed opportunities but that is something totally different.
And what's with the title - Psychosis of War ...?
It all sounds a bit melodramatic to me.
It all sounds a bit melodramatic to me.
Sibelius wrote:
> And what's with the title - Psychosis of War ...?
> It all sounds a bit melodramatic to me.
She's a woman
> And what's with the title - Psychosis of War ...?
> It all sounds a bit melodramatic to me.
She's a woman
Voltaire wrote:
> Sibelius wrote:
> And what's with the title - Psychosis of War ...?
> It all sounds a bit melodramatic to me.
>
> She's a woman
+1point LOLAGE factor.
Though Miss LadyBug Person Thing
Dont.Be.So.Stupid
thanks
xxx
Seriously though, one, month?
Thats taking stupidness to the extremes.
My 2 pence.
> Sibelius wrote:
> And what's with the title - Psychosis of War ...?
> It all sounds a bit melodramatic to me.
>
> She's a woman
+1point LOLAGE factor.
Though Miss LadyBug Person Thing
Dont.Be.So.Stupid
thanks
xxx
Seriously though, one, month?
Thats taking stupidness to the extremes.
My 2 pence.
Voltaire wrote:
> And you only like him? You've known me longer, marry meeeeeee!
You ask me now?? *Italian mob accent* :P
Garin wrote:
> Bleh, ignore everyone on here and get married. Crash and burn,
> its the only way to live. :)
You're so funny Garin :P
Voltaire wrote:
> Sibelius wrote:
> And what's with the title - Psychosis of War ...?
> It all sounds a bit melodramatic to me.
>
> She's a woman
Heh
It is a bit melodramatic, aye? Stupid and crazy and reckless and out of the norm, as well. It's all based on empathetic emotions for a lonely guy that was weary of going to war without someone back home to call his own and dream of a possible future with. It's all it is..
Really, the only thing I want is for him to come home. I can't think of anything beyond that, because there's a great possibility that it might not even happen at all..as much as I hate even thinking it.
I had a good friend that once said that online you can be anyone you want to be and he certainly played his character well. Tops actually. Who's to say that this isn't just a facade as well? I wouldn't know until I physically met him
Thank you all for your comments.
> And you only like him? You've known me longer, marry meeeeeee!
You ask me now?? *Italian mob accent* :P
Garin wrote:
> Bleh, ignore everyone on here and get married. Crash and burn,
> its the only way to live. :)
You're so funny Garin :P
Voltaire wrote:
> Sibelius wrote:
> And what's with the title - Psychosis of War ...?
> It all sounds a bit melodramatic to me.
>
> She's a woman
Heh
It is a bit melodramatic, aye? Stupid and crazy and reckless and out of the norm, as well. It's all based on empathetic emotions for a lonely guy that was weary of going to war without someone back home to call his own and dream of a possible future with. It's all it is..
Really, the only thing I want is for him to come home. I can't think of anything beyond that, because there's a great possibility that it might not even happen at all..as much as I hate even thinking it.
I had a good friend that once said that online you can be anyone you want to be and he certainly played his character well. Tops actually. Who's to say that this isn't just a facade as well? I wouldn't know until I physically met him
Thank you all for your comments.
Foundations wrote:
> Seriously though, one, month?
>
> Thats taking stupidness to the extremes.
>
> My 2 pence.
So what is your take on these online dating sites? There are people on there that get to know eachother online, meet for the first time and know immediately that that person is the one. It's just not the traditional thing to do, I suppose and definitely subject to harsh opinions.
I've actually known him for more than just one month anyways
> Seriously though, one, month?
>
> Thats taking stupidness to the extremes.
>
> My 2 pence.
So what is your take on these online dating sites? There are people on there that get to know eachother online, meet for the first time and know immediately that that person is the one. It's just not the traditional thing to do, I suppose and definitely subject to harsh opinions.
I've actually known him for more than just one month anyways
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