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Moved out.
Left the girlfriend.
Why?
After 6 weeks of silence, distance and abuse I've had enough. Last night, and having thought more and more about it since writing in this thread, I decided I wouldn't take it anymore.
Started as soon as I got in, and I mean literally the moment I stepped through the door.
Door opens, I walk in and take off coat.
"You're home then" in a foul mood
"Uh...yes"
She grabs her fags and goes back upstairs, slamming the door.
I sit down in the living room and think "Here we go again"
10 mins later she comes in, slams her ashtray down "I didn't do any food, what do you fancy?"
"Ah...I'm fine thanks, not hungry"
"You c###"
"....what?"
"You pathetic c###"
And it goes again.
Phoned a mate to help me get my stuff out as quickly as possible and tolerate almost an hour of being told "You're ####ing stupid" and "I ####ing hate you, you worthless ####"
*sighs*
That's what happens when you're a nice bloke and treat women like dirt or slap them about - you get abused, without rhyme or reason, non-stop for 6 weeks. Night and day from the moment you get in until the moment you fall asleep.
I've not slept at all last night and currently sit at my desk trying to work out just what the hell happened.
But I do recognise the pattern of abuse in relationships.
Person gets angry, person says vile and hateful things.
Person then tells you that you're the reason they said those things because "you're so ####ing stupid".
It's the same old situation of a bloke standing over the cowering wife shouting "Look what you made me do"
No more. I'd rather take a few days of inconvenience and sleepless nights rather than have somebody constantly put me down, tell me I'm worthless and sneer at everything said or done.
Women? No thanks, I'm sure there are some perfect ones out there but I've had my fill for a long time.
Video games, music and mates is my existence.
And Scotty, if you're reading this mate, thanks for helping me last night. I rang because I knew you'd come running to help me, and I'd do the same for you without question or hesitation. I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you did for me, I am forever in your debt dude.
Now, where's my ####ing cigarettes and coffee?
This boy has 6 weeks of repressed anger and now-safe-to-vent fury to bleed out.
Left the girlfriend.
Why?
After 6 weeks of silence, distance and abuse I've had enough. Last night, and having thought more and more about it since writing in this thread, I decided I wouldn't take it anymore.
Started as soon as I got in, and I mean literally the moment I stepped through the door.
Door opens, I walk in and take off coat.
"You're home then" in a foul mood
"Uh...yes"
She grabs her fags and goes back upstairs, slamming the door.
I sit down in the living room and think "Here we go again"
10 mins later she comes in, slams her ashtray down "I didn't do any food, what do you fancy?"
"Ah...I'm fine thanks, not hungry"
"You c###"
"....what?"
"You pathetic c###"
And it goes again.
Phoned a mate to help me get my stuff out as quickly as possible and tolerate almost an hour of being told "You're ####ing stupid" and "I ####ing hate you, you worthless ####"
*sighs*
That's what happens when you're a nice bloke and treat women like dirt or slap them about - you get abused, without rhyme or reason, non-stop for 6 weeks. Night and day from the moment you get in until the moment you fall asleep.
I've not slept at all last night and currently sit at my desk trying to work out just what the hell happened.
But I do recognise the pattern of abuse in relationships.
Person gets angry, person says vile and hateful things.
Person then tells you that you're the reason they said those things because "you're so ####ing stupid".
It's the same old situation of a bloke standing over the cowering wife shouting "Look what you made me do"
No more. I'd rather take a few days of inconvenience and sleepless nights rather than have somebody constantly put me down, tell me I'm worthless and sneer at everything said or done.
Women? No thanks, I'm sure there are some perfect ones out there but I've had my fill for a long time.
Video games, music and mates is my existence.
And Scotty, if you're reading this mate, thanks for helping me last night. I rang because I knew you'd come running to help me, and I'd do the same for you without question or hesitation. I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you did for me, I am forever in your debt dude.
Now, where's my ####ing cigarettes and coffee?
This boy has 6 weeks of repressed anger and now-safe-to-vent fury to bleed out.
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Insane Bartender wrote:
> Why don't we all just go to the men's with a camera and come back to
> the forums for a sword-crossing contest?
Sounds like a plan to me...
> Why don't we all just go to the men's with a camera and come back to
> the forums for a sword-crossing contest?
Sounds like a plan to me...
Stop that.
Little Hobbo wrote:
> Hey, there are other strongholds secure from the outside swarms of
> raving lunatics you know. Like the PC forum. :-)
What, with threads like "look at my PC stats"?
Why don't we all just go to the men's with a camera and come back to the forums for a sword-crossing contest?
> Hey, there are other strongholds secure from the outside swarms of
> raving lunatics you know. Like the PC forum. :-)
What, with threads like "look at my PC stats"?
Why don't we all just go to the men's with a camera and come back to the forums for a sword-crossing contest?
Insane Bartender wrote:
> And yes, I did miss the Life forum a little. The last bastion of
> intelligible conversation on the SR forums.
Hey, there are other strongholds secure from the outside swarms of raving lunatics you know. Like the PC forum. :-)
Goatboy: Yet another tale of mistaken love, broken relationships and growing enmity. It depresses me to realise that the chances of finding a partner who will live happily with me until old-age are extremely distant. Those childhood dreams of finding eternal bliss like they do in the movies is in reality no more than that; a dream.
I wish you luck in the future though.
> And yes, I did miss the Life forum a little. The last bastion of
> intelligible conversation on the SR forums.
Hey, there are other strongholds secure from the outside swarms of raving lunatics you know. Like the PC forum. :-)
Goatboy: Yet another tale of mistaken love, broken relationships and growing enmity. It depresses me to realise that the chances of finding a partner who will live happily with me until old-age are extremely distant. Those childhood dreams of finding eternal bliss like they do in the movies is in reality no more than that; a dream.
I wish you luck in the future though.
Goatboy wrote:
> Just nod wisely and tolerate my blabbing until I lose track and start
> thinking about boobs or something.
*Nods wisely*
Thats one of the things this forum is great for.
Sometimes It really helps to tell everything thats inside you to a bunch of anonymous people.
> Just nod wisely and tolerate my blabbing until I lose track and start
> thinking about boobs or something.
*Nods wisely*
Thats one of the things this forum is great for.
Sometimes It really helps to tell everything thats inside you to a bunch of anonymous people.
Pandemonium wrote:
> The cycle you describe of the put downs then the apologies is
> basically a mirror image of the typical male domestic violence cycle.
---
Yep.
I've seen that in effect and swore I'd never ever repeat the pattern. It's all too easy to become like the person that treats you like that.
Just because there's no physical violence, doesn't mean it's ok, and what was I supposed to do? You dont hit a woman so that left me leaving the house and sitting outside for 5 mins hoping she'd calm down and be reasonable.
Her boss treated her badly as did her fiance before she left him a couple of years ago.
Unfortunately, abuse is a learned behaviour. If you're surrounded by it, you eventually come to think that's the only way to communicate.
I worked so hard to not turn into that sort of man, only to end up with a woman that behaved exactly like that.
And having been in that position before, I started to recognise the signals early on and tried to side-step and be understanding.
All the usual comments you hear from someone in that position:
"It was my fault" "I shouldn't have provoked him/her", continually making excuses for the fact that sometimes, some people are just naturally bad people.
I'm grateful I got out before it turned into physical abuse because I would shoot myself in the face before I ever laid a hand on a woman.
My eyes hurt and my brain isn't working.
Sorry folks, I've just had 6 weeks of not being able to talk about this and now I just need to get it out.
Just nod wisely and tolerate my blabbing until I lose track and start thinking about boobs or something.
> The cycle you describe of the put downs then the apologies is
> basically a mirror image of the typical male domestic violence cycle.
---
Yep.
I've seen that in effect and swore I'd never ever repeat the pattern. It's all too easy to become like the person that treats you like that.
Just because there's no physical violence, doesn't mean it's ok, and what was I supposed to do? You dont hit a woman so that left me leaving the house and sitting outside for 5 mins hoping she'd calm down and be reasonable.
Her boss treated her badly as did her fiance before she left him a couple of years ago.
Unfortunately, abuse is a learned behaviour. If you're surrounded by it, you eventually come to think that's the only way to communicate.
I worked so hard to not turn into that sort of man, only to end up with a woman that behaved exactly like that.
And having been in that position before, I started to recognise the signals early on and tried to side-step and be understanding.
All the usual comments you hear from someone in that position:
"It was my fault" "I shouldn't have provoked him/her", continually making excuses for the fact that sometimes, some people are just naturally bad people.
I'm grateful I got out before it turned into physical abuse because I would shoot myself in the face before I ever laid a hand on a woman.
My eyes hurt and my brain isn't working.
Sorry folks, I've just had 6 weeks of not being able to talk about this and now I just need to get it out.
Just nod wisely and tolerate my blabbing until I lose track and start thinking about boobs or something.
Goatboy wrote:
> You have fun away?
Well, it was my 24th birthday, and I had to celebrate it with the general level of apathy that everyone else did. Went to the pub for a few drinks, everyone looked like they'd rather be somewhere else, so I played some pool, drank JD by the double, went home and played Halo on my Dad's XBOX for 2 hours and went to bed.
> You have fun away?
Well, it was my 24th birthday, and I had to celebrate it with the general level of apathy that everyone else did. Went to the pub for a few drinks, everyone looked like they'd rather be somewhere else, so I played some pool, drank JD by the double, went home and played Halo on my Dad's XBOX for 2 hours and went to bed.
I know.
It was pitiful attempt at humour.
I'll go now.....
It was pitiful attempt at humour.
I'll go now.....
RosaIind wrote:
> I meant. Did you miss the life forum, or where you being sarcastic.
> Its a simple question that someone of your genius should not find
> difficult to answer.
I never claimed to be a genius. The only people ever to make such an assessment of me were the "IQ tests" I used to take every month when I was subscribed to Focus magazine, where I consistently scored in the "149+" zone.
The fact that I was doing two A-Levels in maths, the subject matter of which often mirrored the questions in the magazine, didn't aid my score at all. Oh, no.
And yes, I did miss the Life forum a little. The last bastion of intelligible conversation on the SR forums.
> I meant. Did you miss the life forum, or where you being sarcastic.
> Its a simple question that someone of your genius should not find
> difficult to answer.
I never claimed to be a genius. The only people ever to make such an assessment of me were the "IQ tests" I used to take every month when I was subscribed to Focus magazine, where I consistently scored in the "149+" zone.
The fact that I was doing two A-Levels in maths, the subject matter of which often mirrored the questions in the magazine, didn't aid my score at all. Oh, no.
And yes, I did miss the Life forum a little. The last bastion of intelligible conversation on the SR forums.
Insane Bartender wrote:
> Anyway, I wasn't taking a dig at Goatboy, if that's what you mean.
I didn't mean that.
I meant. Did you miss the life forum, or where you being sarcastic. Its a simple question that someone of your genius should not find difficult to answer.
> Anyway, I wasn't taking a dig at Goatboy, if that's what you mean.
I didn't mean that.
I meant. Did you miss the life forum, or where you being sarcastic. Its a simple question that someone of your genius should not find difficult to answer.
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