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"Sober Rambling"

Here's a thought.

I'm obsessed with dreams. In fact, dreams rarely don't entertain me, or affect me, or make me utterly happy.

They're amazingly realistic, and well, they're a bit hard to tell from real life, sometimes.

And I'm getting really worried about it. Because my dreams are so much more exciting, thrilling and inspiring than anything I see in life itself. They fear me, thrill me... and... I'm worried it's numbing me in actual life.

Because if I dream what it's like to do something, then I'd dream it perfectly. Everything would affect me, everything would be done to impeccable timing. And you just don't get that in real life.

In a way, my dreams are making me disapprietiate life. They make me much more happier than things that happen in real life. Most of the time.

But there are things I still dream about that I know I can never do. And there are things that I can dream about that I know that will never happen. Maybe that's why I feel I need to create things, to try to bring my dreams, in a pathetic but somewhat way, to life.

Because my dreams are the only place where I'm not restricted. And I feel, if there's one thing that makes life not worth living, it's restrictions. Having to wait to do the things that make you happy for really stupid reasons. Like fear.

Sure, we have fear in our dreams. But we can face it.

From now on, I want to be terrified. I want to shock myself in life much more often. I want to risk more. I want to risk being seen.

Will I do it? Probably not. But this is just a sober ramble. Much shorter than drunk rambling.

I only mumble because I'm afraid of being heard, you know.

Y'know how your dreams are sometimes completely different from what youve done in the day... well, maybe its just those really tiny things that you dont pick up on in normal everyday circumstances, but the mind still keeps a log of it, and then once youre ready to sleep and rest for the day your body turns off and your mind kicks into gear. Showing you everything that you have seen and making a story of it.

I dunno.

I'm gonna start coming onto the Life Forum a lot more regularly now, I think.
There's almost always a very thought provoking post made.

It's true, life is short.
I suppose it's better to die trying, aiming for a goal, than just not trying for anything.

If not, then what's the point in life? I started to type something here, but it's clean gone out of my head, dammit.
Meh, stupid mind.....

Dreams are amazing things.
What is it that directs how the dreams are made.
Your mind, of course, but what influences your dreams?
It's amazing the kinds of things you can dream, and sometimes they can bring you to realise things you'd never have dreamt.

I have this saying that I wish I had the nerve to live by. Basically, every day, nearly kill yourself, until the day you do.

Do things that could end your life, right there and then. Scare yourself to almost death every day. Maybe one day, when I lose absolutely everything that I've tried to hold on to.

I dont remember me dreaming recently... not for a VERY long time. But when I did do, they were indeed very realistic. My dreams used to be weird and often had sad things happening and then by the end of the dream id dream of going to sleep because of being fed-up of all the bad things and then wake (in real-life) thinking what just happened in my dream was the day before. Takes me a moment or two to realise what happened was a dream.

Strange thing that happened in my dreams is that I didnt have any power or strength at all. I was like a feather and if I tried to hit someone it was like there was a force around the person and I just couldnt hit them or whatever. There was just no feeling of touch.

Also, one weird thing I started to notice was if I went to sleep lying on my right side... I would have a nightmare. It happened all the time. Like when people say if you eat cheese before bedtime to have nightmares. Well, for me it was lying on my right hand side.

I even used to think I was dreaming sometimes when I woke up in real-life because of the weird things that were happening in the morning.

Used to have dreams with game characters in aswell. One I remember mostly was running round the streets where I used to live trying to escape from those dudes out of Mortal Kombat. Theres a blue one, green one and yellow one. Forgot there names.

Some dreams were good though, they made me happy. And like how the bad dreams made me feel upset in the morning and then happy to think that what happened in the dream didnt *really* happen, the same happened when I had a good dream but visa versa. Woke up all *yay* and then thought... "Bah" because it was all just a dream. I want to dream some more, theyre weird but sometimes nice.

Hmmm...

I used to have this rather strange reacurring dream in which a ghost kept scaring me in all types of everyday normal scenario's where i am alone. Mostly just walking aournd my house. Anyway, my reaction was to always shat myself and wake up. But one-time, i stopped being frightened of it. Dunno why, just never scared me anymore even though it was doing the same things. Saw it this week in a dream actually. Giving off some crap about not going to sleep on time and not living by the hours of god (sleep=dark outside)

I only seem to have these dreams when i go to sleep early.

It scares me a lot when I think about how little time we all have on this earth. When I was younger, I remember crying myself to sleep, thinking about when my gran will pass on, and how it felt like such a little amount of time I would be spending with my grandparents. I, at this gae of around 11 or 12, was asking myself how long it would be before I would be saying the eternal goodbye.

Death scares me. And it scares me further to think thats what all my life will end in .. 80 years, gone into one singular whole in the ground.

And my fate? I hope in fate..but what happens if it turns out my fate is simply to live .. and die? Surely that is not living, but just avoiding death..?

Yeah, there are two things I know for certain.

1) I'm going to die.
2) I'm going to be confused for the rest of my life.

It's really kinda disheartening to realise those are the only two things I can guarentee.

I guess so. Forcing something only causes disharmony.. perhaps leaving things to go by their own accord is the best option, to let things flow as they would without intervention. But what happens when, well, nothing happens..the problem with no intervention is less losing the pro's of intervention and more gaining the con's of non-interruption. Maybe following dreams is an unreachable goal? Who knows, it may be reached, maybe not in this life, but in another, if you believe in that..

I'm not sure. And I doubt I ever will be.

I'll never stop trying... it's just that sometimes it's best not to put too much pressure on things to work.

Perhaps, but equally, wouldn't you like to grow older happy in the knowledge you tried, and either succeeded or even failed rather than not trying to follow the excitement of your dreams at all through laziness, regretting what wasn't, but could of, been?