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"Sober Rambling"

Here's a thought.

I'm obsessed with dreams. In fact, dreams rarely don't entertain me, or affect me, or make me utterly happy.

They're amazingly realistic, and well, they're a bit hard to tell from real life, sometimes.

And I'm getting really worried about it. Because my dreams are so much more exciting, thrilling and inspiring than anything I see in life itself. They fear me, thrill me... and... I'm worried it's numbing me in actual life.

Because if I dream what it's like to do something, then I'd dream it perfectly. Everything would affect me, everything would be done to impeccable timing. And you just don't get that in real life.

In a way, my dreams are making me disapprietiate life. They make me much more happier than things that happen in real life. Most of the time.

But there are things I still dream about that I know I can never do. And there are things that I can dream about that I know that will never happen. Maybe that's why I feel I need to create things, to try to bring my dreams, in a pathetic but somewhat way, to life.

Because my dreams are the only place where I'm not restricted. And I feel, if there's one thing that makes life not worth living, it's restrictions. Having to wait to do the things that make you happy for really stupid reasons. Like fear.

Sure, we have fear in our dreams. But we can face it.

From now on, I want to be terrified. I want to shock myself in life much more often. I want to risk more. I want to risk being seen.

Will I do it? Probably not. But this is just a sober ramble. Much shorter than drunk rambling.

I only mumble because I'm afraid of being heard, you know.

Life is what you make of it.

Don't think you can do something? Fine, don't do it. But you'll never know that you could have if you don't try...

Well, goodnight people.
I'm off

I really shouldn't be so down, but I guess I can't be 'happy laughy jokey' Paul all the time.

Just depressed, I guess. It's a way of life at the moment, heh.

Azul wrote:
> Will our mind put a voice to things that we have read and deeply
> thought about?

You know, Azul? I desperately, so desperately hope so.

I reckon we'll dream about typing away on SR and clicking our mouses...

;-)

I've been thinking, and writing.

And I'm about to post the results..

With us thinking so hard about dreaming, I wonder what'll happen when we go to sleep tonight....
Will our mind put a voice to things that we have read and deeply thought about?

Why we all so up late tonight anyway people?

I don't think anyone really knows the difference between right and wrong anymore. It doesn't seem to be that way, anyway.

I remember when I had dreams. They were always dreams of things that could never be, from ridiculous things like zombies (when I first saw Resi) to wonderful things like dancing on the balcony of a huge building of some sort, in the evening, with a girl I loved.

This happens no more.

Now my dreams seem so materialistic .. money. But underneath it all, I guess I just want to be recognised, hey, maybe even loved.