Viewing Thread:
"Recently I've noticed"

That being nice has gotten me no where, only brought people taking advantage of them.

I'm not going to be nice to people from now on, except my family.

Grix Thraves wrote:
> Nice guy?
>
> Can't you see?
>
> [lots more detail]


It amazes me how much I read on this forum without replying...


Anyway, I feel the need to add to this topic. I have met The Ultimate Nice Guy, and he undeniably finishes last beyond measure. Unless you've seen this kind of extreme, you might not be able to see where Grix is coming from, but believe me, he's right.

The Ultimate Nice Guy always thinks of others before himself, and wouldn't dream of offending anyone. Quite often he will either keep his comments to himself, or make unnecessary apologies - just to be safe. The Ultimate Nice Guy is a christian, and of course does not drink, smoke or gamble.

The Ultimate Nice Guy has no real friends. This is despite his being friendly towards everyone. Or perhaps because of it. He is not antisocial or introverted. He knows and talks to everyone, though they all wish he didn't. They tolerate him only because they cannot bring themselves to offend or hurt the feelings of such a geniunely good person.

He really is a child trying to please. He's utterly selfless. He has the same aura of innocence, and is treated the same way. He isn't respected for the way he is, he's regarded as naive. People can't see him as their equal. He isn't real. As Grix said, he 'prides himself on so little'. So little that he has no depth, he provokes no interest. He's not a real person, he's missing something important. He's genuine, yet fake. He dosn't even realise this, bless him.

People can't relate to him, or adjust to his wavelength. This is why he can't form close relationships with people. I have no doubt he has real feeling and emotions. I have no doubt he has intelligent thoughts, inner beauty and whatnot.

I have no doubt that he really doesn't see himself the same way everyone else does. The same goes for all people who are 'nice' (to verying degrees) and cannot undersand where they're going wrong.


Nice is a component you can add to yourself, not a container you should put yourself inside.

I haven't been evil yet though

I will maybe soon

Too much effort

People don't appriciate your kindness until you dish out some nastyness as it were.

Primal wrote:
> Or†ega wrote:
> Its still okay to be nice if you *look* intimidating.
>
> Who'd be intimidated of you? I've seen your pic of SO.

If you mean Sheepy, he looks gentle, compared to most people around Glasgow.

Typical Glasgow face:

(@<^>@)
/ && /
\\/\//

Pretty much, I'd say, though my face is perfect, of course.

Ant wrote:
> mikelar wrote:
> why not occupy the happy medium?
>
> Fore example, instead of opening a door for someone else, open it
> for
> yourself and as you walk through, push the door further open for
> anyone else walking behind.

If the person is right behind me, then I do that, I hold it open for anyone a few metres away.

> Don't be affraid to be the first person to say "sorry" if
> you bump into someone but don't be such an idiot that you'd say
> "sorry" if was obviously their fault. etc etc etc

Gah, I do that all the time, say sorry automatically, it's annoying.

> Agreed, probably what I'd do.
>
> I like to think of myself as a good person, and that I help people out
> a lot...so does that make me weak? That I don't get into fights all
> the time?
>
> And yeah, being nice does suck a lot of the time, but I have a lot of
> friends and no one really dislikes me...I just need to be a bit better
> in confrontational situations...but I'm not sure how, to be honest.

Same here, everyone knows that I'm a nice guy, so they "Extract the urine* with me all the time, knowing that I won't do anything back. And I don't coz I'm a niceguy, and haven't had a girlfriend yet.

*Breaks down into tears*

mikelar wrote:
> why not occupy the happy medium?
>
> Fore example, instead of opening a door for someone else, open it for
> yourself and as you walk through, push the door further open for
> anyone else walking behind.
>
> Don't be affraid to be the first person to say "sorry" if
> you bump into someone but don't be such an idiot that you'd say
> "sorry" if was obviously their fault. etc etc etc

Agreed, probably what I'd do.

I like to think of myself as a good person, and that I help people out a lot...so does that make me weak? That I don't get into fights all the time?

And yeah, being nice does suck a lot of the time, but I have a lot of friends and no one really dislikes me...I just need to be a bit better in confrontational situations...but I'm not sure how, to be honest.

Grix Thraves wrote:
> Nice guy?
>
> Can't you see?
>
> People pride themselves on the fact that they're a "nice"
> person. They truly believe that by never saying what's on their mind
> and just being there to hold people while they cry, that they're a
> "nice" person.

....

> Parenthood turns us into slaves. We become creatures that have this
> sentimental warmth for pleasing people. We're not "nice"
> guys, we're just kids.



That'd be one way of looking at things, one definition of 'nice'.

Another view would be that being 'nice' comes down not to wanting to please people, but genuine compassion and respect for them.
You're there for someone when they need it because you see that they need it, you're there to help them through because you want them to get through.
Not because you know that if you help them you get a pat on the head.

Inevitably some people will be out to seek a pat on the head and a scooby snack (but be disappointed when they don't get a tummy rub?), you're right.
Maybe some do it in a misguided attempt to win favour and get laid, a fairly similar concept.

But not everyone.

why not occupy the happy medium?

Fore example, instead of opening a door for someone else, open it for yourself and as you walk through, push the door further open for anyone else walking behind.

Don't be affraid to be the first person to say "sorry" if you bump into someone but don't be such an idiot that you'd say "sorry" if was obviously their fault. etc etc etc

I prefer being a nice guy. It makes your life so easier.

Yea. Like I hold open doors for people and let the go first, "Thank-You" would be nice. But no. So i've stopped being nice to people.

Oh. And everyone should play football, great fun for releaving stress..