The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Four men sit apon four chairs. The night sky falls apon them, and although they don't realise it, night is apon us.
"Hail Brother Ant." SHEEPY said. "What does thou bring us in this time of woe?"
"Hail Brother." Ant replied. "I bring news of a game."
"What game is this you speak of?" Said I.
"It is the one true game. The one that will bind us all." Ant reached into his sack, and withdrew thy press release.
"It is what I've always dreamed of, and yet, my dreams never seem so real." Said I.
"It is of true beauty." Said Ant.
"An online RPG?" Inquired Snipe. "What's so good about an online RPG?"
Ant and I gave Snipe an evil look.
"You do not see the whole picture, misguided one." I remarked.
"Certainly not." Ant stared at the game again. "Lord Lucas would not be pleased to hear of such blasphemy."
"Lord Lucas? What the hell are you lot blabbing on about anyway?"
"Behold. The Star Wars Online RPG is being developed, and you can now sign up for the beta testing."
"I shall not wait to do so. Goodbye gentlemen." Said I.
Snipe continued to argue with Ant and Sheepy well into the night, until Ant withdrew his +5 attack Lightsaber, and Sheepy attacked Snipe with his +15 force grip.
"Hail Brother Ant." SHEEPY said. "What does thou bring us in this time of woe?"
"Hail Brother." Ant replied. "I bring news of a game."
"What game is this you speak of?" Said I.
"It is the one true game. The one that will bind us all." Ant reached into his sack, and withdrew thy press release.
"It is what I've always dreamed of, and yet, my dreams never seem so real." Said I.
"It is of true beauty." Said Ant.
"An online RPG?" Inquired Snipe. "What's so good about an online RPG?"
Ant and I gave Snipe an evil look.
"You do not see the whole picture, misguided one." I remarked.
"Certainly not." Ant stared at the game again. "Lord Lucas would not be pleased to hear of such blasphemy."
"Lord Lucas? What the hell are you lot blabbing on about anyway?"
"Behold. The Star Wars Online RPG is being developed, and you can now sign up for the beta testing."
"I shall not wait to do so. Goodbye gentlemen." Said I.
Snipe continued to argue with Ant and Sheepy well into the night, until Ant withdrew his +5 attack Lightsaber, and Sheepy attacked Snipe with his +15 force grip.
Page:
Mr Lucas wouldn't agree.
U guys should publish this!
Its wiiiiickccccckkkkeeeeddd
Its wiiiiickccccckkkkeeeeddd
LOL...
Glactic Echo: Page 9: Third Column
"A sighting was made today of the rebel 'Sniper' on the planet of Hoth. The rebel, who had been believed dead, was apparently spotted making various purchases in the local markets with the intent of supplying a ship that he had recently salvaged and had been repairing.
Eye witnesses say that a party of six stormtroopers who had been having a bit of R&R in the local cantina had happened upon Sniper by complete coincidence, recognised him, and promptly tied him up and used him for target practice using a various assortment of weapons for the better part of an hour.
Locals are believed to have sold the various remaining pieces of the body to local merchants for scraggnarok food. It has been confirmed that the six stormtroopers in question have been promoted to squad leaders.
More news, as it happens, from your Galactic Echo.
"A sighting was made today of the rebel 'Sniper' on the planet of Hoth. The rebel, who had been believed dead, was apparently spotted making various purchases in the local markets with the intent of supplying a ship that he had recently salvaged and had been repairing.
Eye witnesses say that a party of six stormtroopers who had been having a bit of R&R in the local cantina had happened upon Sniper by complete coincidence, recognised him, and promptly tied him up and used him for target practice using a various assortment of weapons for the better part of an hour.
Locals are believed to have sold the various remaining pieces of the body to local merchants for scraggnarok food. It has been confirmed that the six stormtroopers in question have been promoted to squad leaders.
More news, as it happens, from your Galactic Echo.
Humm. Wrote this at the same time... Kinda makes some sense...
Actually. No. It doesn't.
Crap.
Actually. No. It doesn't.
Crap.
Four months passed. Four men gave up all hope of finding Fantasymeister, and had returned to ask for Yodas help at Dagobah, which had turned into a tourist trap. Yoda was not pleased.
But on the otherside of the galaxy...
Bleeders the Hutt slurched around the Imperial Art Gallery, looking for something to hang on the wall.
"Yahhhhkkyyyllkk."
"Not today sir, no. The party was last week, and the scraps were fed to the dogs."
"HYYYJKKKK!"
Bleeders swallowed the assistant whole.
"AHHHKlww!"
Another assistant appeared.
"Fantasyhamster. He was taken away a few months back, and frozen in krytoni... CARBONITE."
"Fantjshster?"
The assistant got him down from the wall.
"Yes. Of course, would you like him gift wrapped or just in a bag?"
But on the otherside of the galaxy...
Bleeders the Hutt slurched around the Imperial Art Gallery, looking for something to hang on the wall.
"Yahhhhkkyyyllkk."
"Not today sir, no. The party was last week, and the scraps were fed to the dogs."
"HYYYJKKKK!"
Bleeders swallowed the assistant whole.
"AHHHKlww!"
Another assistant appeared.
"Fantasyhamster. He was taken away a few months back, and frozen in krytoni... CARBONITE."
"Fantjshster?"
The assistant got him down from the wall.
"Yes. Of course, would you like him gift wrapped or just in a bag?"
FantasyMeister came to again, feeling rested but still with a pain in his right thigh. Using his Jedi mind powers, he concentrated until the throb turned to a screeching furnace of pain, then decided he was probably better off leaving the cauterised wound to heal itself. He took in his surroundings; a Class 2 trader, he was just behind the cabin up front where the pilot would be, the mysterious er-no. He could here voices from the other side of the bulkhead door and crept closer to listen. He heard a man talking over the radio....
"Yes, Emperor, I have the one you asked for. I will bring him to you. He should raise a hefty ransom for the Empire."
There was a brief burst of staccato hissing from the person er-no was talking too, then....
"Emperer, is your holoscreen on the blink again? Never mind, I'll be back in a day if you can here me. Merry Krizt Mass and out."
FantasyMeister knew that this was time to act. With his trusty lockpick he deactivated the electronic bulk door's lock and slid it silently open to view the inner cockpit. He could see the hooded form of er-no at the controls. He crept up quietly.....
"Don't try that, Jedi, I am more powerful with the Dark Side than you could ever imagine. Have a seat instead."
FM took the proffered chair next to er-no.
"So, what is your plan?"
"You might as well know, Jedi. You will be taken back the Empirial Headquarters and held as ransom for your friends to rescue. They will be destroyed. We already know where your base is because we scanned your ship for its navigation data when you replied to my Mayday signal, a careless error."
FantasyMeister blushed. It was an old signal hacking trick that he had known about, but he never suspected that he could be caught out that way. He tried his mind power once more.
"Er-no, you will turn this ship around. It will make you feel better. You will take me back to my friends. That is a good idea.....
"Shut-up. It doesn't work on me, Jedi."
FantasyMeister slumped in his seat, resigned to his fate. His chair rocked back with a
*click*
"Yes, Emperor, I have the one you asked for. I will bring him to you. He should raise a hefty ransom for the Empire."
There was a brief burst of staccato hissing from the person er-no was talking too, then....
"Emperer, is your holoscreen on the blink again? Never mind, I'll be back in a day if you can here me. Merry Krizt Mass and out."
FantasyMeister knew that this was time to act. With his trusty lockpick he deactivated the electronic bulk door's lock and slid it silently open to view the inner cockpit. He could see the hooded form of er-no at the controls. He crept up quietly.....
"Don't try that, Jedi, I am more powerful with the Dark Side than you could ever imagine. Have a seat instead."
FM took the proffered chair next to er-no.
"So, what is your plan?"
"You might as well know, Jedi. You will be taken back the Empirial Headquarters and held as ransom for your friends to rescue. They will be destroyed. We already know where your base is because we scanned your ship for its navigation data when you replied to my Mayday signal, a careless error."
FantasyMeister blushed. It was an old signal hacking trick that he had known about, but he never suspected that he could be caught out that way. He tried his mind power once more.
"Er-no, you will turn this ship around. It will make you feel better. You will take me back to my friends. That is a good idea.....
"Shut-up. It doesn't work on me, Jedi."
FantasyMeister slumped in his seat, resigned to his fate. His chair rocked back with a
*click*
FantasyMeister came to. He felt a bit queasy, looked at the singed hole in his thigh with the smoke wisping out of it, and felt even queasier. Then he went pale and passed out again. His head hit the hull with a
*click*
*click*
Three men stood in a circle, those three men, were one.
Grixs brain stood opposite him. "Stop now Grix, you'll get yourself killed. You know you can't win."
"I cannot give up. If he got control of the body again..."
The third Grix lunged at Grix, and Grix swung his lightsaber at the third Grixs stomach, but he backflipped out of the way.
"How the hell did he do that?" Grixs brain said, unaware of the concept of the "third wall".
The third Grix, unfortuantly, was quite aware.
Grix held his white lightsaber tightly, his long coat, which he wore because he thought he looked cool, dragged out under him.
The third Grix struck again, and Grix brought up his lightsaber to defend.
The third Grixs sword went through the lightsaber, with Grix only just dodging out of the way.
Two halves of a wooden stick, fell to the floor...
"Give up now." The third Grix said. "I control what happens here. You can't win under my rules. I've been in here too long, I've learned to break the third wall."
"The third wall?" Grixs brain couldn't understand why the lightsaber had turned into a stick...
"The third wall is the barrier that has to be broken in dreams, so we can control what is happening, and make it up as we go along."
Grix sighed. "I've been trying to control my dreams for years... Uh. Sorry. Nevermind."
"I regain control. The brain may join me, as I promised." The third Grix turned his back on thr lone Grix.
"I am nothing without my mind." Grix said to his brain, who also turned away, and walked into the distance, leaving Grix in the middle of a large field.
____________
Three men still waited over the fourth.
Grix opened his eyes.
"He's back!" Ant shouted. "He's alive!"
Grixs brain stood opposite him. "Stop now Grix, you'll get yourself killed. You know you can't win."
"I cannot give up. If he got control of the body again..."
The third Grix lunged at Grix, and Grix swung his lightsaber at the third Grixs stomach, but he backflipped out of the way.
"How the hell did he do that?" Grixs brain said, unaware of the concept of the "third wall".
The third Grix, unfortuantly, was quite aware.
Grix held his white lightsaber tightly, his long coat, which he wore because he thought he looked cool, dragged out under him.
The third Grix struck again, and Grix brought up his lightsaber to defend.
The third Grixs sword went through the lightsaber, with Grix only just dodging out of the way.
Two halves of a wooden stick, fell to the floor...
"Give up now." The third Grix said. "I control what happens here. You can't win under my rules. I've been in here too long, I've learned to break the third wall."
"The third wall?" Grixs brain couldn't understand why the lightsaber had turned into a stick...
"The third wall is the barrier that has to be broken in dreams, so we can control what is happening, and make it up as we go along."
Grix sighed. "I've been trying to control my dreams for years... Uh. Sorry. Nevermind."
"I regain control. The brain may join me, as I promised." The third Grix turned his back on thr lone Grix.
"I am nothing without my mind." Grix said to his brain, who also turned away, and walked into the distance, leaving Grix in the middle of a large field.
____________
Three men still waited over the fourth.
Grix opened his eyes.
"He's back!" Ant shouted. "He's alive!"
Meanwhile - Fantasymeister had regained consciousness.
Page: