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Four men sit apon four chairs. The night sky falls apon them, and although they don't realise it, night is apon us.
"Hail Brother Ant." SHEEPY said. "What does thou bring us in this time of woe?"
"Hail Brother." Ant replied. "I bring news of a game."
"What game is this you speak of?" Said I.
"It is the one true game. The one that will bind us all." Ant reached into his sack, and withdrew thy press release.
"It is what I've always dreamed of, and yet, my dreams never seem so real." Said I.
"It is of true beauty." Said Ant.
"An online RPG?" Inquired Snipe. "What's so good about an online RPG?"
Ant and I gave Snipe an evil look.
"You do not see the whole picture, misguided one." I remarked.
"Certainly not." Ant stared at the game again. "Lord Lucas would not be pleased to hear of such blasphemy."
"Lord Lucas? What the hell are you lot blabbing on about anyway?"
"Behold. The Star Wars Online RPG is being developed, and you can now sign up for the beta testing."
"I shall not wait to do so. Goodbye gentlemen." Said I.
Snipe continued to argue with Ant and Sheepy well into the night, until Ant withdrew his +5 attack Lightsaber, and Sheepy attacked Snipe with his +15 force grip.
"Hail Brother Ant." SHEEPY said. "What does thou bring us in this time of woe?"
"Hail Brother." Ant replied. "I bring news of a game."
"What game is this you speak of?" Said I.
"It is the one true game. The one that will bind us all." Ant reached into his sack, and withdrew thy press release.
"It is what I've always dreamed of, and yet, my dreams never seem so real." Said I.
"It is of true beauty." Said Ant.
"An online RPG?" Inquired Snipe. "What's so good about an online RPG?"
Ant and I gave Snipe an evil look.
"You do not see the whole picture, misguided one." I remarked.
"Certainly not." Ant stared at the game again. "Lord Lucas would not be pleased to hear of such blasphemy."
"Lord Lucas? What the hell are you lot blabbing on about anyway?"
"Behold. The Star Wars Online RPG is being developed, and you can now sign up for the beta testing."
"I shall not wait to do so. Goodbye gentlemen." Said I.
Snipe continued to argue with Ant and Sheepy well into the night, until Ant withdrew his +5 attack Lightsaber, and Sheepy attacked Snipe with his +15 force grip.
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***introducing a new character 'er-no' ***
"Why do you think they let us go?" Darkness asked, while skillfully driving the Millennium Ant.
"Well it's done its damage," Grix said, pointing at FM who was curled up in a corner mumbling to himself.
"What's he saying?" Dan_UK asked.
Grix and Ant walked over to him. FM ignored them.
"Stardust, Nightshade, Beauty, race, pink, Christie..."
"He's repeating the names of horses and other Barbie stuff."
Ant shuddered, "How could you make Sunflower stomp on that poor Ant on purpose?" He asked Darkness.
"Because I'm CRUEL!"
After about an hour's travelling, they realised that FM wasn't mumbling any more, and looked very ill. They all went over to inspect him.
Ant turned around to check the viewing screen, and they were heading straight towards a huge asteroid.
"Where the vegetable did that come from!" Ant screamed, "Darkness, get your a**e over here!"
Darkness got to the controls, but it was too late, they were going to smash straight into it...
*click*
"Well it's done its damage," Grix said, pointing at FM who was curled up in a corner mumbling to himself.
"What's he saying?" Dan_UK asked.
Grix and Ant walked over to him. FM ignored them.
"Stardust, Nightshade, Beauty, race, pink, Christie..."
"He's repeating the names of horses and other Barbie stuff."
Ant shuddered, "How could you make Sunflower stomp on that poor Ant on purpose?" He asked Darkness.
"Because I'm CRUEL!"
After about an hour's travelling, they realised that FM wasn't mumbling any more, and looked very ill. They all went over to inspect him.
Ant turned around to check the viewing screen, and they were heading straight towards a huge asteroid.
"Where the vegetable did that come from!" Ant screamed, "Darkness, get your a**e over here!"
Darkness got to the controls, but it was too late, they were going to smash straight into it...
*click*
With the Wookie a head and the Stormtroopers dead on their tail, (and Darth Sheepy striding extra fast to catch up!) it seemed that the hero's were trapped.
Yet Grix was preprared...
Out of his pocket he pulled out some raw meat that had fallen out of Dan_uk's head while the N chip was extracted.
He waved the meat under the wookie's nose and then threw it towards the storm troopers. The wookie chased it leaving the way clear to the Millenium Ant.
They rushed on board. FM ran to the controlls, pressed a button and there was a
**click**
Yet Grix was preprared...
Out of his pocket he pulled out some raw meat that had fallen out of Dan_uk's head while the N chip was extracted.
He waved the meat under the wookie's nose and then threw it towards the storm troopers. The wookie chased it leaving the way clear to the Millenium Ant.
They rushed on board. FM ran to the controlls, pressed a button and there was a
**click**
The wilderness stretched in all directions before him, the bleakness, the emptyness, the eternally dismal panoramic view all around him. A cold wind was blowing into his face as he faced what he presumed was an analogy for his future of gaming. There was nothing. Just nothing. And nothing else. He shivered in the frosty air. He felt numb. There was no escape from this endless wasteland. He was doomed......
"Whassup with him?" Ant was stooping over the comatose form of FantasyMeister who was curled up in the corner of the room.
"It was too much for him. He couldn't take it. The Force was not strong enough in him to withstand the Barbie torture. Put him on a stretcher and we'll take him with us." Grix and the others ripped one of the cots off the wall and jury rigged a stretcher onto which they manhandled the still and lifeless body.
"Come on, lets get onto the Millennium Ant and get off this Empirically infested city."
So off they went. Having climbed aboard the Millennium Ant, there was a brief squabble over who should drive. Grix hadn't yet attained his Provisional Galactic Licence, and Ant was having a lot of trouble with the pedals due to his extra appendages, so in the end Darkness took the pilots seat with Dan_UK as co-pilot, which was fine with him as the helmet was helping him keep his head together. The Millennium Ant took off, wobbled a bit, and shot out into space.
________
Emperor Tony glared at Darth Sheepy.
"What is the meaning of this? You LET THEM GO?!!!!"
"It is all in hand, Emperor," Darth Sheepy replied, confidently. "They have been subjected to enough torture for one day. Their abilities to engage against us have been severely weakened by their exposure to Barbie Race and Ride. When we next catch up with them, we can obliterate them at our leisure. We just need them to lead us to the Rebel Alliance HQ, then we can take them all out with one go."
"I see," said Emperor Tony. "I'm not so sure, but you haven't let me down yet. Just make sure that you don't."
Darth Sheepy winced at the ramifications of that statement, saluted, and went off to supervise preparations for the Final Assault.
The Emperor walked over to his Holoscreen and willed it to work. It fizzed into life. He reminded himself to send Tandy a bottle of bubbly as a reward for fixing it. He summoned up a view of the Empire's HQ on Varldak IV. Admiral Ali's grim face focused on the screen.
"Your Will, Emperor?"
"Admiral Ali, I want you to prepare our 'spy' for a little excursion. Get him to track the Millenium Ant. Get him to report DIRECTLY to me as to it's whereabouts at all times."
"Your Will, Emperor."
"Oh! And you have been promoted. You are back to the rank of Grand Moff again."
"The Emperor is gracious. Your Will is done, Emperor."
With a wave of his hand, Emperor Tony dismissed the vision before him. The Holoscreen fizzed into blankness. Much as he trusted Darth Sheepy to do his bidding, this was his insurance policy. Using his 'spy' was a good backup. The hooded one had NEVER failed on a mission, so if Darth Sheepy let him down, his backup plan would allow the Empire to be victorious. The Emperor turned to go back to his throne, then paused. The problem over Darth's son was troubling him. Was Darth becoming weak? Could he trust him to destroy his own son? Was he right to re-promote Ali to a Moff? And should he attempt to put up those pretty lights again as decoration, or was that pushing it too far?
He sat down, and as he did so, his knees went
*click*
"Whassup with him?" Ant was stooping over the comatose form of FantasyMeister who was curled up in the corner of the room.
"It was too much for him. He couldn't take it. The Force was not strong enough in him to withstand the Barbie torture. Put him on a stretcher and we'll take him with us." Grix and the others ripped one of the cots off the wall and jury rigged a stretcher onto which they manhandled the still and lifeless body.
"Come on, lets get onto the Millennium Ant and get off this Empirically infested city."
So off they went. Having climbed aboard the Millennium Ant, there was a brief squabble over who should drive. Grix hadn't yet attained his Provisional Galactic Licence, and Ant was having a lot of trouble with the pedals due to his extra appendages, so in the end Darkness took the pilots seat with Dan_UK as co-pilot, which was fine with him as the helmet was helping him keep his head together. The Millennium Ant took off, wobbled a bit, and shot out into space.
________
Emperor Tony glared at Darth Sheepy.
"What is the meaning of this? You LET THEM GO?!!!!"
"It is all in hand, Emperor," Darth Sheepy replied, confidently. "They have been subjected to enough torture for one day. Their abilities to engage against us have been severely weakened by their exposure to Barbie Race and Ride. When we next catch up with them, we can obliterate them at our leisure. We just need them to lead us to the Rebel Alliance HQ, then we can take them all out with one go."
"I see," said Emperor Tony. "I'm not so sure, but you haven't let me down yet. Just make sure that you don't."
Darth Sheepy winced at the ramifications of that statement, saluted, and went off to supervise preparations for the Final Assault.
The Emperor walked over to his Holoscreen and willed it to work. It fizzed into life. He reminded himself to send Tandy a bottle of bubbly as a reward for fixing it. He summoned up a view of the Empire's HQ on Varldak IV. Admiral Ali's grim face focused on the screen.
"Your Will, Emperor?"
"Admiral Ali, I want you to prepare our 'spy' for a little excursion. Get him to track the Millenium Ant. Get him to report DIRECTLY to me as to it's whereabouts at all times."
"Your Will, Emperor."
"Oh! And you have been promoted. You are back to the rank of Grand Moff again."
"The Emperor is gracious. Your Will is done, Emperor."
With a wave of his hand, Emperor Tony dismissed the vision before him. The Holoscreen fizzed into blankness. Much as he trusted Darth Sheepy to do his bidding, this was his insurance policy. Using his 'spy' was a good backup. The hooded one had NEVER failed on a mission, so if Darth Sheepy let him down, his backup plan would allow the Empire to be victorious. The Emperor turned to go back to his throne, then paused. The problem over Darth's son was troubling him. Was Darth becoming weak? Could he trust him to destroy his own son? Was he right to re-promote Ali to a Moff? And should he attempt to put up those pretty lights again as decoration, or was that pushing it too far?
He sat down, and as he did so, his knees went
*click*
Nice
We are in about 2/3s of the story now. Perhaps a little less.
I think everyone's gone off to Taiwan to make toys for Father Christmas, who will then give the toys made in Taiwan to the children of the World. Hmmmm...
Strange where is everybody?
FM cried even harder.
"I don't believe it," Ant said in shock, "Barbie Riding Club is bad enough, but, b-b-but BARBIE RACE AND RIDE!"
"Calm down everyone," Darkness said, "It'll be fine, it's only a Horse Riding game,"
"BUT IT'S BARBIE RACE AND RIDE!" FM said, crying his eyes out, "You've never played it!"
The posse tried to clam themselves. FM finally stopped crying.
"Come on people," Grix said authoratively. "Let's do it."
FantasyMeister burst into tears again.
"I don't believe it," Ant said in shock, "Barbie Riding Club is bad enough, but, b-b-but BARBIE RACE AND RIDE!"
"Calm down everyone," Darkness said, "It'll be fine, it's only a Horse Riding game,"
"BUT IT'S BARBIE RACE AND RIDE!" FM said, crying his eyes out, "You've never played it!"
The posse tried to clam themselves. FM finally stopped crying.
"Come on people," Grix said authoratively. "Let's do it."
FantasyMeister burst into tears again.
All 9 pages of it!
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