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"Ah Mr Bush, people think the election was a joke and you barely got in, despite several recounts. Public opinion is at an all time low and several newspapers are even doubting you won"
"Why?"
"Because you announced your victory based on the yet-to-be-counted results from Florida"
"Yeah? And?"
"Well your brother Jeb is governor of Florida and people thought that was a little suspect"
"He's a good man"
"Well, his daughter - your niece - is being prosecuted for fraudulently obtaining a controlled substance, Xanax. And his former business partner Hernandez Cartaya was charged with drug smuggling, money laundering and gun-running using. Yet after a phone call from the FBI, the charges were reduced to simple tax evasion and he now serves 18yrs in a minimum security prison"
"Goddamn it, we need a war or sumthink"
"...We could go toe to toe with China for having one of our spy planes!"
"Kewl!"
"Phew, your opinion has risen, although not by much"
Several Months Later
"Ah Mr Bush, the people are questioning the methods and effectiveness of carpet bombing a country with zero townships and the terrorists hiding underground where our Daisy Cutter can't reach them."
"Godammit. Let's drop food as well!"
"...ah sir, we're dropping the food into minefields and the instructions are written in English, Spanish, Portugeuse and French. Also, 85% of the outlying areas are illiterate and the food parcels look similar to clusterbombs"
"...well how about this Anthrax thing?"
"But sir, all indications point to a domestic right-wing activist similar to Timothy McVeigh"
"Oh come on now, he's got a beard don't he?"
"We dont know who is doing this sir"
"Well he's probably had a beard at some point. I don't trust 'em!"
"Soooo....you want to whip the country up into hysteria over Anthrax and downplay the domestic angle?"
"Ayuh!"
"But what happens when we get bored and...I mean, when we capture Bin Laden and he denies this Anthrax thing? I mean, after slamming planes into buildings isn't posting spores a little...well...wussy?"
"Ah Joe Schmo is a noony-head, he'll forget all about Anthrax once we start on that there Iraqi thang"
"Good point sir! What about Bin Laden?"
"...who?"
"The dude in the cave?"
"Batman?"
"No Mr President, Bin Laden. The most wanted man in the world"
"He sounds dangerous. Let's whack 'im"
"We're trying sir but he's hiding. It's not very fair"
"...well, let's send a couple thousand troops over, march about some and then come home after a while saying we're sure he's dead."
"Good plan. What if he continues to broadcast though?"
"We'll just say we doubt it's him anyway"
"And any further terrorist attacks sir?"
"Oh we'll blame him for those though"
"...buuuut, we've been saying we dont know if he's alive or not"
"Well goshdarnit, do I have to do everything around here?"
Several weeks later
"Well Mr President, it looks like the Iraq situation is boosting your popularity in the polls. Shall we go in?"
"In a bit, I just want to offer another eulogy to the NYPD for being heroes"
"What about the 4 officers involved in shooting Amadou Diallo, who was shot 19 out of 41 rounds fired at him in front of his Bronx apartment building?"
"...uh..."
"And Abner Louima, who alleged that officers sodomized him with a stick in a precinct stationhouse. The officers, Justin Volpe, 26, Charles Schwarz, 33, Thomas Bruder, 32, and Thomas Wiese, 35, are charged with beating Louima in a patrol car on the way to the stationhouse. A fifth defendant, Sgt. Michael Bellomo, 36, is charged with covering up both attacks."
"...ah...um...Saddam is a Hitler"
"Very good Mr President. Let's go get that guy!"
"Damn straight, he should live in a nice country like the U$A"
"We still have that sniper sir, he's shot 9 people now and we have no clue as to who he is"
"Ssshhh"
"Sorry Mr President. Let's go get Saddam for mom and apple pie"
"Yup, those pesky Weapons Inspectors have finally been allowed in with unrestricted access"
"...Mr President?"
"Yep, Hussein agreed but I told that wasn't good enough. Where's that M1-Abrahms? He gonna pay fer sure. Phone my Pa and tell him Jr done real good"
------
* Satirical essay from the perspective of a pinko commie leftist, and any suggestion that war on Iraq whilst ignoring Bin Laden and Al Queda is obviously wrong and merits several lecturey posts about the ins and outs of Foreign Policy by The United States.
"Why?"
"Because you announced your victory based on the yet-to-be-counted results from Florida"
"Yeah? And?"
"Well your brother Jeb is governor of Florida and people thought that was a little suspect"
"He's a good man"
"Well, his daughter - your niece - is being prosecuted for fraudulently obtaining a controlled substance, Xanax. And his former business partner Hernandez Cartaya was charged with drug smuggling, money laundering and gun-running using. Yet after a phone call from the FBI, the charges were reduced to simple tax evasion and he now serves 18yrs in a minimum security prison"
"Goddamn it, we need a war or sumthink"
"...We could go toe to toe with China for having one of our spy planes!"
"Kewl!"
"Phew, your opinion has risen, although not by much"
Several Months Later
"Ah Mr Bush, the people are questioning the methods and effectiveness of carpet bombing a country with zero townships and the terrorists hiding underground where our Daisy Cutter can't reach them."
"Godammit. Let's drop food as well!"
"...ah sir, we're dropping the food into minefields and the instructions are written in English, Spanish, Portugeuse and French. Also, 85% of the outlying areas are illiterate and the food parcels look similar to clusterbombs"
"...well how about this Anthrax thing?"
"But sir, all indications point to a domestic right-wing activist similar to Timothy McVeigh"
"Oh come on now, he's got a beard don't he?"
"We dont know who is doing this sir"
"Well he's probably had a beard at some point. I don't trust 'em!"
"Soooo....you want to whip the country up into hysteria over Anthrax and downplay the domestic angle?"
"Ayuh!"
"But what happens when we get bored and...I mean, when we capture Bin Laden and he denies this Anthrax thing? I mean, after slamming planes into buildings isn't posting spores a little...well...wussy?"
"Ah Joe Schmo is a noony-head, he'll forget all about Anthrax once we start on that there Iraqi thang"
"Good point sir! What about Bin Laden?"
"...who?"
"The dude in the cave?"
"Batman?"
"No Mr President, Bin Laden. The most wanted man in the world"
"He sounds dangerous. Let's whack 'im"
"We're trying sir but he's hiding. It's not very fair"
"...well, let's send a couple thousand troops over, march about some and then come home after a while saying we're sure he's dead."
"Good plan. What if he continues to broadcast though?"
"We'll just say we doubt it's him anyway"
"And any further terrorist attacks sir?"
"Oh we'll blame him for those though"
"...buuuut, we've been saying we dont know if he's alive or not"
"Well goshdarnit, do I have to do everything around here?"
Several weeks later
"Well Mr President, it looks like the Iraq situation is boosting your popularity in the polls. Shall we go in?"
"In a bit, I just want to offer another eulogy to the NYPD for being heroes"
"What about the 4 officers involved in shooting Amadou Diallo, who was shot 19 out of 41 rounds fired at him in front of his Bronx apartment building?"
"...uh..."
"And Abner Louima, who alleged that officers sodomized him with a stick in a precinct stationhouse. The officers, Justin Volpe, 26, Charles Schwarz, 33, Thomas Bruder, 32, and Thomas Wiese, 35, are charged with beating Louima in a patrol car on the way to the stationhouse. A fifth defendant, Sgt. Michael Bellomo, 36, is charged with covering up both attacks."
"...ah...um...Saddam is a Hitler"
"Very good Mr President. Let's go get that guy!"
"Damn straight, he should live in a nice country like the U$A"
"We still have that sniper sir, he's shot 9 people now and we have no clue as to who he is"
"Ssshhh"
"Sorry Mr President. Let's go get Saddam for mom and apple pie"
"Yup, those pesky Weapons Inspectors have finally been allowed in with unrestricted access"
"...Mr President?"
"Yep, Hussein agreed but I told that wasn't good enough. Where's that M1-Abrahms? He gonna pay fer sure. Phone my Pa and tell him Jr done real good"
------
* Satirical essay from the perspective of a pinko commie leftist, and any suggestion that war on Iraq whilst ignoring Bin Laden and Al Queda is obviously wrong and merits several lecturey posts about the ins and outs of Foreign Policy by The United States.
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Belldandy wrote:
> So one of you here says the left supports Bush, another says the right
> supports Bush...... not really a political issue at all is it ? WE're
> talking about peace here.
Peace... and Bush... not words you often hear in the same sentence
> They are allowed their own opinions,
It save you having to have one of your own huh? :)
> unlike many of the Iraqi people,
> like the missing 20 million odd who didnt get asked to vote.
I did see today they read out articles written by Americans who have takenan anti-war stance... and then questioned whether, by putting their opinions in print, that they had gone to far? ...
> they aren't worth listening to, I'm sick of the "nice" cosey
> interviews on our news shows where nothing awkward is asked and the
> interviewers ask dormant question. Like this morning on BBC 24,
> "do you think the terrorism in Bali will effect tourism ?"
> Well duh, I could answer that from here without asking someone in Bali
> that.
lol... I'm no great fan of the BBC's news coverage... I'm not too sure why you keep bringing them up...
The presenters on Fox and Friends dont ask serious questions, they lead they suggest, they are the televisual equivelent of 'The Sun' or 'The Mail'.
What was the last posing question they asked? Was it when they had senators reading the weather?
I'd say Paxman, et al. do a better job of posing more demanding requests...
> It's not perfect, nowhere is - whats important to me is that it's a
> nation whose leader is willing to take a stand and actually do things,
> instead of sitting around talking endlessly
He's such a hero, attempting to start a needless war, resulting in the death of millions of innocent civilians in the name of popularity and the US dollar... :)
> So one of you here says the left supports Bush, another says the right
> supports Bush...... not really a political issue at all is it ? WE're
> talking about peace here.
Peace... and Bush... not words you often hear in the same sentence
> They are allowed their own opinions,
It save you having to have one of your own huh? :)
> unlike many of the Iraqi people,
> like the missing 20 million odd who didnt get asked to vote.
I did see today they read out articles written by Americans who have takenan anti-war stance... and then questioned whether, by putting their opinions in print, that they had gone to far? ...
> they aren't worth listening to, I'm sick of the "nice" cosey
> interviews on our news shows where nothing awkward is asked and the
> interviewers ask dormant question. Like this morning on BBC 24,
> "do you think the terrorism in Bali will effect tourism ?"
> Well duh, I could answer that from here without asking someone in Bali
> that.
lol... I'm no great fan of the BBC's news coverage... I'm not too sure why you keep bringing them up...
The presenters on Fox and Friends dont ask serious questions, they lead they suggest, they are the televisual equivelent of 'The Sun' or 'The Mail'.
What was the last posing question they asked? Was it when they had senators reading the weather?
I'd say Paxman, et al. do a better job of posing more demanding requests...
> It's not perfect, nowhere is - whats important to me is that it's a
> nation whose leader is willing to take a stand and actually do things,
> instead of sitting around talking endlessly
He's such a hero, attempting to start a needless war, resulting in the death of millions of innocent civilians in the name of popularity and the US dollar... :)
Spoilt rich kids taking drugs? Who'd have thunk it.
Looks like Bush's "War on Drugs" has taken a bit of collateral damage.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/doc_o_day/doc_o_day.shtml
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/doc_o_day/doc_o_day.shtml
Goatboy wrote:
>
> But THIS POST WAS A JOKE.
You're kidding right ?
Damn - and I was so serious when I added my post about Bush being the one who bombs people.
Sheeshh !
>
> But THIS POST WAS A JOKE.
You're kidding right ?
Damn - and I was so serious when I added my post about Bush being the one who bombs people.
Sheeshh !
Goatboy wrote:
and merits several lecturey posts about the ins and
> outs of Foreign Policy by The United States.
----
It's almost like I went forward in time isn't it?
and merits several lecturey posts about the ins and
> outs of Foreign Policy by The United States.
----
It's almost like I went forward in time isn't it?
Points to big neon sign at bottom of original post in this thread that says "SATIRE".
It.Was.A.Joke
Political indoctrination is all well and good,with some very commendable swallowing of facts without question and a blind submission to official versions of events.
But THIS POST WAS A JOKE.
That's the problem with about 99% of people on this planet, they trade humour for pious lectures and it just trails off into one line of people saying "You are wrong" with an opposing line of people with arms folded saying "No, you are wrong".
And in the middle is the clown, trudging back to his car with his head low because everyone is too busy saying "I believe I am right and you are wrong" to LIGHTEN UP AND JUST SMILE.
Gah
It.Was.A.Joke
Political indoctrination is all well and good,with some very commendable swallowing of facts without question and a blind submission to official versions of events.
But THIS POST WAS A JOKE.
That's the problem with about 99% of people on this planet, they trade humour for pious lectures and it just trails off into one line of people saying "You are wrong" with an opposing line of people with arms folded saying "No, you are wrong".
And in the middle is the clown, trudging back to his car with his head low because everyone is too busy saying "I believe I am right and you are wrong" to LIGHTEN UP AND JUST SMILE.
Gah
Argh!
Halfway through reading this thread, my brain short circuited and I lost the ability to distinguish cynicism and satire from well-informed debate.
Now I'm scared.
Halfway through reading this thread, my brain short circuited and I lost the ability to distinguish cynicism and satire from well-informed debate.
Now I'm scared.
Very good.
Something along the same lines as what I'm thinking.
Very good indeed.
Something along the same lines as what I'm thinking.
Very good indeed.
Armatige Shanks wrote:
> You mean those left-wingers who support Bush without question?
So one of you here says the left supports Bush, another says the right supports Bush...... not really a political issue at all is it ? WE're talking about peace here.
> Or the ones who think that the US should start bombing Iraq today,
> right now, if not sooner?
> Of they way they present suggestion and proposition as fact?
> Or how about they way they ridicule anyone who doesnt agree with the
> presidents current statements?
They are allowed their own opinions, unlike many of the Iraqi people, like the missing 20 million odd who didnt get asked to vote. Suggestion and proposition only become fact if you accept it - and you'll find all news networks are equally guilty of this, not just Fox. Ridicule ? If someone cannot take flak on their point of view they aren't worth listening to, I'm sick of the "nice" cosey interviews on our news shows where nothing awkward is asked and the interviewers ask dormant question. Like this morning on BBC 24, "do you think the terrorism in Bali will effect tourism ?" Well duh, I could answer that from here without asking someone in Bali that.
> Maybe I'm wrong, and the US is infact perfect in every way, that
> anyone who disagrees with anything Pres.Bush has to say is a pinko
> subversie who should be shot?... maybe :)
It's not perfect, nowhere is - whats important to me is that it's a nation whose leader is willing to take a stand and actually do things, instead of sitting around talking endlessly - though Blair has been improving a lot in the last two years. I also think that a lot of people in the Uk spend a lot of time criticising the US when our own country needs the attention more.
~~Belldandy~~
> You mean those left-wingers who support Bush without question?
So one of you here says the left supports Bush, another says the right supports Bush...... not really a political issue at all is it ? WE're talking about peace here.
> Or the ones who think that the US should start bombing Iraq today,
> right now, if not sooner?
> Of they way they present suggestion and proposition as fact?
> Or how about they way they ridicule anyone who doesnt agree with the
> presidents current statements?
They are allowed their own opinions, unlike many of the Iraqi people, like the missing 20 million odd who didnt get asked to vote. Suggestion and proposition only become fact if you accept it - and you'll find all news networks are equally guilty of this, not just Fox. Ridicule ? If someone cannot take flak on their point of view they aren't worth listening to, I'm sick of the "nice" cosey interviews on our news shows where nothing awkward is asked and the interviewers ask dormant question. Like this morning on BBC 24, "do you think the terrorism in Bali will effect tourism ?" Well duh, I could answer that from here without asking someone in Bali that.
> Maybe I'm wrong, and the US is infact perfect in every way, that
> anyone who disagrees with anything Pres.Bush has to say is a pinko
> subversie who should be shot?... maybe :)
It's not perfect, nowhere is - whats important to me is that it's a nation whose leader is willing to take a stand and actually do things, instead of sitting around talking endlessly - though Blair has been improving a lot in the last two years. I also think that a lot of people in the Uk spend a lot of time criticising the US when our own country needs the attention more.
~~Belldandy~~
Belldandy wrote:
> Ha ! There is no such thing as neutral, anyone in anything who claims
> to be unbiased or neutral is lying, though the lie is not always on
> purpose.
Which is why the Daily Mail will always be the greatest British newspaper ever!
> Ha ! There is no such thing as neutral, anyone in anything who claims
> to be unbiased or neutral is lying, though the lie is not always on
> purpose.
Which is why the Daily Mail will always be the greatest British newspaper ever!
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