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"Ah Mr Bush, people think the election was a joke and you barely got in, despite several recounts. Public opinion is at an all time low and several newspapers are even doubting you won"
"Why?"
"Because you announced your victory based on the yet-to-be-counted results from Florida"
"Yeah? And?"
"Well your brother Jeb is governor of Florida and people thought that was a little suspect"
"He's a good man"
"Well, his daughter - your niece - is being prosecuted for fraudulently obtaining a controlled substance, Xanax. And his former business partner Hernandez Cartaya was charged with drug smuggling, money laundering and gun-running using. Yet after a phone call from the FBI, the charges were reduced to simple tax evasion and he now serves 18yrs in a minimum security prison"
"Goddamn it, we need a war or sumthink"
"...We could go toe to toe with China for having one of our spy planes!"
"Kewl!"
"Phew, your opinion has risen, although not by much"
Several Months Later
"Ah Mr Bush, the people are questioning the methods and effectiveness of carpet bombing a country with zero townships and the terrorists hiding underground where our Daisy Cutter can't reach them."
"Godammit. Let's drop food as well!"
"...ah sir, we're dropping the food into minefields and the instructions are written in English, Spanish, Portugeuse and French. Also, 85% of the outlying areas are illiterate and the food parcels look similar to clusterbombs"
"...well how about this Anthrax thing?"
"But sir, all indications point to a domestic right-wing activist similar to Timothy McVeigh"
"Oh come on now, he's got a beard don't he?"
"We dont know who is doing this sir"
"Well he's probably had a beard at some point. I don't trust 'em!"
"Soooo....you want to whip the country up into hysteria over Anthrax and downplay the domestic angle?"
"Ayuh!"
"But what happens when we get bored and...I mean, when we capture Bin Laden and he denies this Anthrax thing? I mean, after slamming planes into buildings isn't posting spores a little...well...wussy?"
"Ah Joe Schmo is a noony-head, he'll forget all about Anthrax once we start on that there Iraqi thang"
"Good point sir! What about Bin Laden?"
"...who?"
"The dude in the cave?"
"Batman?"
"No Mr President, Bin Laden. The most wanted man in the world"
"He sounds dangerous. Let's whack 'im"
"We're trying sir but he's hiding. It's not very fair"
"...well, let's send a couple thousand troops over, march about some and then come home after a while saying we're sure he's dead."
"Good plan. What if he continues to broadcast though?"
"We'll just say we doubt it's him anyway"
"And any further terrorist attacks sir?"
"Oh we'll blame him for those though"
"...buuuut, we've been saying we dont know if he's alive or not"
"Well goshdarnit, do I have to do everything around here?"
Several weeks later
"Well Mr President, it looks like the Iraq situation is boosting your popularity in the polls. Shall we go in?"
"In a bit, I just want to offer another eulogy to the NYPD for being heroes"
"What about the 4 officers involved in shooting Amadou Diallo, who was shot 19 out of 41 rounds fired at him in front of his Bronx apartment building?"
"...uh..."
"And Abner Louima, who alleged that officers sodomized him with a stick in a precinct stationhouse. The officers, Justin Volpe, 26, Charles Schwarz, 33, Thomas Bruder, 32, and Thomas Wiese, 35, are charged with beating Louima in a patrol car on the way to the stationhouse. A fifth defendant, Sgt. Michael Bellomo, 36, is charged with covering up both attacks."
"...ah...um...Saddam is a Hitler"
"Very good Mr President. Let's go get that guy!"
"Damn straight, he should live in a nice country like the U$A"
"We still have that sniper sir, he's shot 9 people now and we have no clue as to who he is"
"Ssshhh"
"Sorry Mr President. Let's go get Saddam for mom and apple pie"
"Yup, those pesky Weapons Inspectors have finally been allowed in with unrestricted access"
"...Mr President?"
"Yep, Hussein agreed but I told that wasn't good enough. Where's that M1-Abrahms? He gonna pay fer sure. Phone my Pa and tell him Jr done real good"
------
* Satirical essay from the perspective of a pinko commie leftist, and any suggestion that war on Iraq whilst ignoring Bin Laden and Al Queda is obviously wrong and merits several lecturey posts about the ins and outs of Foreign Policy by The United States.
"Why?"
"Because you announced your victory based on the yet-to-be-counted results from Florida"
"Yeah? And?"
"Well your brother Jeb is governor of Florida and people thought that was a little suspect"
"He's a good man"
"Well, his daughter - your niece - is being prosecuted for fraudulently obtaining a controlled substance, Xanax. And his former business partner Hernandez Cartaya was charged with drug smuggling, money laundering and gun-running using. Yet after a phone call from the FBI, the charges were reduced to simple tax evasion and he now serves 18yrs in a minimum security prison"
"Goddamn it, we need a war or sumthink"
"...We could go toe to toe with China for having one of our spy planes!"
"Kewl!"
"Phew, your opinion has risen, although not by much"
Several Months Later
"Ah Mr Bush, the people are questioning the methods and effectiveness of carpet bombing a country with zero townships and the terrorists hiding underground where our Daisy Cutter can't reach them."
"Godammit. Let's drop food as well!"
"...ah sir, we're dropping the food into minefields and the instructions are written in English, Spanish, Portugeuse and French. Also, 85% of the outlying areas are illiterate and the food parcels look similar to clusterbombs"
"...well how about this Anthrax thing?"
"But sir, all indications point to a domestic right-wing activist similar to Timothy McVeigh"
"Oh come on now, he's got a beard don't he?"
"We dont know who is doing this sir"
"Well he's probably had a beard at some point. I don't trust 'em!"
"Soooo....you want to whip the country up into hysteria over Anthrax and downplay the domestic angle?"
"Ayuh!"
"But what happens when we get bored and...I mean, when we capture Bin Laden and he denies this Anthrax thing? I mean, after slamming planes into buildings isn't posting spores a little...well...wussy?"
"Ah Joe Schmo is a noony-head, he'll forget all about Anthrax once we start on that there Iraqi thang"
"Good point sir! What about Bin Laden?"
"...who?"
"The dude in the cave?"
"Batman?"
"No Mr President, Bin Laden. The most wanted man in the world"
"He sounds dangerous. Let's whack 'im"
"We're trying sir but he's hiding. It's not very fair"
"...well, let's send a couple thousand troops over, march about some and then come home after a while saying we're sure he's dead."
"Good plan. What if he continues to broadcast though?"
"We'll just say we doubt it's him anyway"
"And any further terrorist attacks sir?"
"Oh we'll blame him for those though"
"...buuuut, we've been saying we dont know if he's alive or not"
"Well goshdarnit, do I have to do everything around here?"
Several weeks later
"Well Mr President, it looks like the Iraq situation is boosting your popularity in the polls. Shall we go in?"
"In a bit, I just want to offer another eulogy to the NYPD for being heroes"
"What about the 4 officers involved in shooting Amadou Diallo, who was shot 19 out of 41 rounds fired at him in front of his Bronx apartment building?"
"...uh..."
"And Abner Louima, who alleged that officers sodomized him with a stick in a precinct stationhouse. The officers, Justin Volpe, 26, Charles Schwarz, 33, Thomas Bruder, 32, and Thomas Wiese, 35, are charged with beating Louima in a patrol car on the way to the stationhouse. A fifth defendant, Sgt. Michael Bellomo, 36, is charged with covering up both attacks."
"...ah...um...Saddam is a Hitler"
"Very good Mr President. Let's go get that guy!"
"Damn straight, he should live in a nice country like the U$A"
"We still have that sniper sir, he's shot 9 people now and we have no clue as to who he is"
"Ssshhh"
"Sorry Mr President. Let's go get Saddam for mom and apple pie"
"Yup, those pesky Weapons Inspectors have finally been allowed in with unrestricted access"
"...Mr President?"
"Yep, Hussein agreed but I told that wasn't good enough. Where's that M1-Abrahms? He gonna pay fer sure. Phone my Pa and tell him Jr done real good"
------
* Satirical essay from the perspective of a pinko commie leftist, and any suggestion that war on Iraq whilst ignoring Bin Laden and Al Queda is obviously wrong and merits several lecturey posts about the ins and outs of Foreign Policy by The United States.
Page:
Belldandy wrote:
> When Saddam finally achieves nuclear capability then it is too late to
> do anything.
Better start killing people then! :)
> Explain please how the fact that the
> stock exchanges and the world economy as a whole is doing badly
> because of the fact that conflict in Iraq may be imminent ?
The state of the stock markets are not as a result of any potential conflict, they are as a result of economic slowdown... The US and German economies were on the downslide since before the Sept11. attack
> There's one main reason so many groups are protesting. With the end of
> the Cold War groups like CND are virtually jobless, despite their
> moaning for nearly 40 years global armageddon never came.
Its not the groups who are protesting, its normal everyday, non-politcal people... peopl who would normally sit on their bums shake their heads and just tut are feeling the need to make themselves heard
> Most importantly, all those who oppose the USA on various issues have
> an inability to answer awkward questions like; ...
"why was the war
> against the Taliban and Al Queda in Afghanistan unjust when they had
> one whole month in which to surrender ?","If Saddam's got
> nothing to hide why can't UN inspectors look at his presidential
> palaces, without warning ?", "What happened to 2/3 of the
> Iraqi population that wasn't allowed to vote?", "If Saddam
> isn't making nuclear weapons and has no offensive intentions why does
> he need the equipemtn and material to make them, and why does he need
> missiles that by 2004 would hit mainland Europe ?" , "If
> Iraq is so 'harmless' why did 600 Gulf War prisoners disappear without
> trace in Iraq, to this day Iraq claims it never had them ?",
> "How can you lose 2 tonnes of Anthrax ?" and so on. They
> never get answered...strange that.
No one is saying the Saddam Heussain is the Saint of all goodly commleness... But to kill for the point of killing is wrong...
I'm sure the UN backing its demands with the real threat of force is all fine and dandy... but if Iraq complies with the demands, the US has no right to attack anyway...
They arn't attacking because of any threat posed by Heussain, but because of their own interests.
The US has in the past repeatedly turned its back on countries that have potentially posed a far greater threat, because of their lack of strategic or economic value...
The US has an appaling human rights history, the reason for attack has nothing to do with dissapearing troops, or chemical weapons... There are countries with citizens in far greater daily peril than Iraq, why then, are these people cries ignored?
> When Saddam finally achieves nuclear capability then it is too late to
> do anything.
Better start killing people then! :)
> Explain please how the fact that the
> stock exchanges and the world economy as a whole is doing badly
> because of the fact that conflict in Iraq may be imminent ?
The state of the stock markets are not as a result of any potential conflict, they are as a result of economic slowdown... The US and German economies were on the downslide since before the Sept11. attack
> There's one main reason so many groups are protesting. With the end of
> the Cold War groups like CND are virtually jobless, despite their
> moaning for nearly 40 years global armageddon never came.
Its not the groups who are protesting, its normal everyday, non-politcal people... peopl who would normally sit on their bums shake their heads and just tut are feeling the need to make themselves heard
> Most importantly, all those who oppose the USA on various issues have
> an inability to answer awkward questions like; ...
"why was the war
> against the Taliban and Al Queda in Afghanistan unjust when they had
> one whole month in which to surrender ?","If Saddam's got
> nothing to hide why can't UN inspectors look at his presidential
> palaces, without warning ?", "What happened to 2/3 of the
> Iraqi population that wasn't allowed to vote?", "If Saddam
> isn't making nuclear weapons and has no offensive intentions why does
> he need the equipemtn and material to make them, and why does he need
> missiles that by 2004 would hit mainland Europe ?" , "If
> Iraq is so 'harmless' why did 600 Gulf War prisoners disappear without
> trace in Iraq, to this day Iraq claims it never had them ?",
> "How can you lose 2 tonnes of Anthrax ?" and so on. They
> never get answered...strange that.
No one is saying the Saddam Heussain is the Saint of all goodly commleness... But to kill for the point of killing is wrong...
I'm sure the UN backing its demands with the real threat of force is all fine and dandy... but if Iraq complies with the demands, the US has no right to attack anyway...
They arn't attacking because of any threat posed by Heussain, but because of their own interests.
The US has in the past repeatedly turned its back on countries that have potentially posed a far greater threat, because of their lack of strategic or economic value...
The US has an appaling human rights history, the reason for attack has nothing to do with dissapearing troops, or chemical weapons... There are countries with citizens in far greater daily peril than Iraq, why then, are these people cries ignored?
Didnt think you made it up at all, just like to read for myself.
And, having read it, I really dont care anyway.
*shrugs*
I got laid most of the weekend and there's a game with Mr T in it available to buy.
The rest of the world can do what it wants.
And, having read it, I really dont care anyway.
*shrugs*
I got laid most of the weekend and there's a game with Mr T in it available to buy.
The rest of the world can do what it wants.
Goatboy wrote:
> Heh
>
> Ok Kissinger, put the flag away and get back in the bunker.
Nah, you got that wrong, Saddam should be the one in a bunker..... anyway I bet you thought this was something I'd made up...and oh dear it wasn't. I don't make up any of my points because there is enough real evidence for this.
~~Belldandy~~
> Heh
>
> Ok Kissinger, put the flag away and get back in the bunker.
Nah, you got that wrong, Saddam should be the one in a bunker..... anyway I bet you thought this was something I'd made up...and oh dear it wasn't. I don't make up any of my points because there is enough real evidence for this.
~~Belldandy~~
Heh
Ok Kissinger, put the flag away and get back in the bunker.
Ok Kissinger, put the flag away and get back in the bunker.
Goatboy wrote:
> Belldandy wrote:
> "If Iraq is so 'harmless' why did 600 Gulf War prisoners
> disappear without
> trace in Iraq, to this day Iraq claims it never had them ?",
> ---
>
> Post a link to this story.
> Because anyone can bandy about statements like that, I'd like to read
> the reports about this one please.
You asked, you get; (as usual, remove and spaces in the link)
http://www.pray4pows.org/kuwait/fate.html
http://www.rferl.org/nca/features/ 2000/04/F.RU.000420133410.html
http://customwire.ap.org/dynamic/ stories/K/KUWAIT_IRAQ?SITE=AZTUS&SECTION=HOME
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/ middle_east/1118923.stm
http://www.usvetdsp.com/gw_mia_sp.htm
http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/09/12/ bush.transcript/index.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/2208743.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/1869450.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/1410308.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/1190693.stm
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,65448,00.html
http://web.amnesty.org/ 802568F7005C4453/0/ FB0B5BE26D79C8ED80256A23 003CB67B?Open&Highlight=2,kuwaiti
These two also deal with Iraq's treatment of it's own people;
http://web.amnesty.org/802568F200538089 /0/24FE8CCC9D037845802568F200552932?Open
http://web.amnesty.org/802568F7005C4453 /0/9CA0159B2008093B8025690000692FA3?Open
There are also tons more sites out there.
Believe me now ? Or still convinced Saddam and his regime is just misunderstood.... In all reality these prisoners are dead, accounts from our own SAS who were captured underline the systematic breaches of all treaties relating to POW's and civilians in peace time. Yes, Desert Storm also killed civilians, but that was never the intention. We didn't drag them out of their homes, confine them, torture them, kill them. Iraq did do this, and it's one of the many reasons why Iraq's regime must be met with the only thing it understands and cannot talk it's way out of. Military action.
~~Belldandy~~
> Belldandy wrote:
> "If Iraq is so 'harmless' why did 600 Gulf War prisoners
> disappear without
> trace in Iraq, to this day Iraq claims it never had them ?",
> ---
>
> Post a link to this story.
> Because anyone can bandy about statements like that, I'd like to read
> the reports about this one please.
You asked, you get; (as usual, remove and spaces in the link)
http://www.pray4pows.org/kuwait/fate.html
http://www.rferl.org/nca/features/ 2000/04/F.RU.000420133410.html
http://customwire.ap.org/dynamic/ stories/K/KUWAIT_IRAQ?SITE=AZTUS&SECTION=HOME
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/ middle_east/1118923.stm
http://www.usvetdsp.com/gw_mia_sp.htm
http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/09/12/ bush.transcript/index.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/2208743.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/1869450.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/1410308.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/1190693.stm
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,65448,00.html
http://web.amnesty.org/ 802568F7005C4453/0/ FB0B5BE26D79C8ED80256A23 003CB67B?Open&Highlight=2,kuwaiti
These two also deal with Iraq's treatment of it's own people;
http://web.amnesty.org/802568F200538089 /0/24FE8CCC9D037845802568F200552932?Open
http://web.amnesty.org/802568F7005C4453 /0/9CA0159B2008093B8025690000692FA3?Open
There are also tons more sites out there.
Believe me now ? Or still convinced Saddam and his regime is just misunderstood.... In all reality these prisoners are dead, accounts from our own SAS who were captured underline the systematic breaches of all treaties relating to POW's and civilians in peace time. Yes, Desert Storm also killed civilians, but that was never the intention. We didn't drag them out of their homes, confine them, torture them, kill them. Iraq did do this, and it's one of the many reasons why Iraq's regime must be met with the only thing it understands and cannot talk it's way out of. Military action.
~~Belldandy~~
Belldandy wrote:
"If Iraq is so 'harmless' why did 600 Gulf War prisoners disappear without
> trace in Iraq, to this day Iraq claims it never had them ?",
---
Post a link to this story.
Because anyone can bandy about statements like that, I'd like to read the reports about this one please.
"If Iraq is so 'harmless' why did 600 Gulf War prisoners disappear without
> trace in Iraq, to this day Iraq claims it never had them ?",
---
Post a link to this story.
Because anyone can bandy about statements like that, I'd like to read the reports about this one please.
Humour - "a message whose ingenuity or verbal skill or incongruity has the power to evoke laughter [syn: wit, humor, witticism, wittiness]"
Satire - "A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit"
Satire - "A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit"
I think he was at my school the other day, hiding in the disabled loos, but that won't be much good since we have a lot of disabled (freaks) at our school, and you know that they can't control their bladdres as well as us normal people....
I think I know what happened to Bin Laden then, he probably got flushed down the loo and found his way in other peoples S***T! LOL!
This did not actually happen, if it did then Woodgreen would have been bombed (YEAH!).
I think I know what happened to Bin Laden then, he probably got flushed down the loo and found his way in other peoples S***T! LOL!
This did not actually happen, if it did then Woodgreen would have been bombed (YEAH!).
So...anyone seen Bin Laden lately?
Armatige Shanks wrote:
> He's such a hero, attempting to start a needless war, resulting in the
> death of millions of innocent civilians in the name of popularity and
> the US dollar... :)
When Saddam finally achieves nuclear capability then it is too late to do anything. Needless ? Hilarious. Iraq has broken numerous UN resolutions for 11 years running. More civlians have been killed by the Iraqi regime itself than by any collateral damage a military attack could cause. US Dollar ? Explain please how the fact that the stock exchanges and the world economy as a whole is doing badly because of the fact that conflict in Iraq may be imminent ? Doesn't look that good to me..... And before you mention this being about oil, obviously it is ! Iraq's oil money finances Saddam's military, WMD preperations and does nothing for his own people. A UN agreement allowing Iraq to sell oil for humanitarian supplies was broken consitently, unless the Iraqi people are all driving around in T72's and GAZ trucks and jeeps.....
There's one main reason so many groups are protesting. With the end of the Cold War groups like CND are virtually jobless, despite their moaning for nearly 40 years global armageddon never came. Now, rather than shut up shop they'e branched out into other areas just to survive, and despite never having shown little interest in Iraq until 1991, act like they have the interests of the Iraqi people at heart and that Saddam is just misunderstood. Most people protesting couldn't give a toss about Iraq, it's just yet another issue to oppose the USA on on, so jump on board everyone ! No war with Iraq, freedom for Palestine, capitalist scum, no more oil and all the other tired old cliches.
Most importantly, all those who oppose the USA on various issues have an inability to answer awkward questions like; "why was the war against the Taliban and Al Queda in Afghanistan unjust when they had one whole month in which to surrender ?","If Saddam's got nothing to hide why can't UN inspectors look at his presidential palaces, without warning ?", "What happened to 2/3 of the Iraqi population that wasn't allowed to vote?", "If Saddam isn't making nuclear weapons and has no offensive intentions why does he need the equipemtn and material to make them, and why does he need missiles that by 2004 would hit mainland Europe ?" , "If Iraq is so 'harmless' why did 600 Gulf War prisoners disappear without trace in Iraq, to this day Iraq claims it never had them ?", "How can you lose 2 tonnes of Anthrax ?" and so on. They never get answered...strange that.
~~Belldandy~~
> He's such a hero, attempting to start a needless war, resulting in the
> death of millions of innocent civilians in the name of popularity and
> the US dollar... :)
When Saddam finally achieves nuclear capability then it is too late to do anything. Needless ? Hilarious. Iraq has broken numerous UN resolutions for 11 years running. More civlians have been killed by the Iraqi regime itself than by any collateral damage a military attack could cause. US Dollar ? Explain please how the fact that the stock exchanges and the world economy as a whole is doing badly because of the fact that conflict in Iraq may be imminent ? Doesn't look that good to me..... And before you mention this being about oil, obviously it is ! Iraq's oil money finances Saddam's military, WMD preperations and does nothing for his own people. A UN agreement allowing Iraq to sell oil for humanitarian supplies was broken consitently, unless the Iraqi people are all driving around in T72's and GAZ trucks and jeeps.....
There's one main reason so many groups are protesting. With the end of the Cold War groups like CND are virtually jobless, despite their moaning for nearly 40 years global armageddon never came. Now, rather than shut up shop they'e branched out into other areas just to survive, and despite never having shown little interest in Iraq until 1991, act like they have the interests of the Iraqi people at heart and that Saddam is just misunderstood. Most people protesting couldn't give a toss about Iraq, it's just yet another issue to oppose the USA on on, so jump on board everyone ! No war with Iraq, freedom for Palestine, capitalist scum, no more oil and all the other tired old cliches.
Most importantly, all those who oppose the USA on various issues have an inability to answer awkward questions like; "why was the war against the Taliban and Al Queda in Afghanistan unjust when they had one whole month in which to surrender ?","If Saddam's got nothing to hide why can't UN inspectors look at his presidential palaces, without warning ?", "What happened to 2/3 of the Iraqi population that wasn't allowed to vote?", "If Saddam isn't making nuclear weapons and has no offensive intentions why does he need the equipemtn and material to make them, and why does he need missiles that by 2004 would hit mainland Europe ?" , "If Iraq is so 'harmless' why did 600 Gulf War prisoners disappear without trace in Iraq, to this day Iraq claims it never had them ?", "How can you lose 2 tonnes of Anthrax ?" and so on. They never get answered...strange that.
~~Belldandy~~
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