The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Went to London Zoo yesterday. hadn't been there in years, was really looking forward to it.
And it sucked. Big time.
1st stop the "Reptile House" with pics of snakes and stuff. Except in each display case what did I see? Logs. I think I saw the back of a snake in one, but mostly logs. It was crap. "The Spitting Cobra", cool! No, a log.
You should have keepers that lean in with a stick and angry up the snakes so you can actually see them.
Instead of logs. I can see logs anywhere, look, there's one right outside my window.
Rubbish.
Saw the Lions.
Except we saw 1 lion. It was sleeping. Again, there should have been some sort of prodding to make it move. But it just slept, and you could only just see the damn thing. "The master of the jungle, impressive and regal" said the card.
I saw a flea-bitten, sleeping stupid lion.
Monkeys.
Usually these are comedy gold. Pure, absolute simian-hilarity. Except the Silverback just sat there and looked bored and the 2 chimps hung up the top of the cage and stared at the floor.
I think they were monged on something, because I've seen monkeys on the television and they move and do things.
These apathetic apes just chilled and did nothing at all.
Mammals.
Ok, now this made me angry. It was billed as "Giant Anteater".
I was expecting house-sized. But this thing was no bigger than a family dog. Hardly giant is it? It just shuffled about and then went into it's hut thing. "Giant"? No. It should have been called "Staggeringly Normal Anteater"
We saw two orange wolves. Orange wolves? Ever heard of those? Nor me, I think they were foxes and they just made up some crap about them being rare and from somewhere else. They just lay there asleep as well. Disappointing? Yes. Predatory Canines? Nope.
And no elephants. They were on the map thing, but nobody had seen them or could find them. Biggest animals to walk the land and nobody could find them. Bunch of pants. Penguins stank and hid.
All in all, a rubbish day out. Although I did fit 2 doughnuts in my mouth at once. But I almost choked and had to poke them with some keys to create air holes.
Don't go to London Zoo, it's rubbish.
And it sucked. Big time.
1st stop the "Reptile House" with pics of snakes and stuff. Except in each display case what did I see? Logs. I think I saw the back of a snake in one, but mostly logs. It was crap. "The Spitting Cobra", cool! No, a log.
You should have keepers that lean in with a stick and angry up the snakes so you can actually see them.
Instead of logs. I can see logs anywhere, look, there's one right outside my window.
Rubbish.
Saw the Lions.
Except we saw 1 lion. It was sleeping. Again, there should have been some sort of prodding to make it move. But it just slept, and you could only just see the damn thing. "The master of the jungle, impressive and regal" said the card.
I saw a flea-bitten, sleeping stupid lion.
Monkeys.
Usually these are comedy gold. Pure, absolute simian-hilarity. Except the Silverback just sat there and looked bored and the 2 chimps hung up the top of the cage and stared at the floor.
I think they were monged on something, because I've seen monkeys on the television and they move and do things.
These apathetic apes just chilled and did nothing at all.
Mammals.
Ok, now this made me angry. It was billed as "Giant Anteater".
I was expecting house-sized. But this thing was no bigger than a family dog. Hardly giant is it? It just shuffled about and then went into it's hut thing. "Giant"? No. It should have been called "Staggeringly Normal Anteater"
We saw two orange wolves. Orange wolves? Ever heard of those? Nor me, I think they were foxes and they just made up some crap about them being rare and from somewhere else. They just lay there asleep as well. Disappointing? Yes. Predatory Canines? Nope.
And no elephants. They were on the map thing, but nobody had seen them or could find them. Biggest animals to walk the land and nobody could find them. Bunch of pants. Penguins stank and hid.
All in all, a rubbish day out. Although I did fit 2 doughnuts in my mouth at once. But I almost choked and had to poke them with some keys to create air holes.
Don't go to London Zoo, it's rubbish.
Page:
Best time to go to a Zoo is around feeding time. All the animals are out an about.
I used to sponsor the Snow leopards at Edinburgh Zoo and would go see them every few months.
Seen the silverback gorilla eat its own poo, poo in its hand and throw it at the crowd and at the reptile hose they would bring out some of the snakes etc to let people touch them.
I used to sponsor the Snow leopards at Edinburgh Zoo and would go see them every few months.
Seen the silverback gorilla eat its own poo, poo in its hand and throw it at the crowd and at the reptile hose they would bring out some of the snakes etc to let people touch them.
That said, my English teacher told us about a scottish zoo he had been to, where they had a massive angry tiger. And the tiger was meant to have been lying in a corner not doing anything much when an annoying fat woman started banging on the cage trying to get it to move a little, at which point the tiger flung itself across the cage straight into the wall of the cage which the woman was banging on, inducing near-coronary failure in the woman, and leaving the tiger a little hurt.
Oh and I saw a monkey eat its owh poo at Monkeyworld near Bournemouth once. Apparently they have to though, because they have crap digestive systems that miss stuff the first time round.
Oh and I saw a monkey eat its owh poo at Monkeyworld near Bournemouth once. Apparently they have to though, because they have crap digestive systems that miss stuff the first time round.
I noticed some dead ones too.
But did you go to the other side of the zoo, through the underground tunnel? That was the best bit, with the beardy pigs, the Slender Loris and the antisocial giraffes.
But did you go to the other side of the zoo, through the underground tunnel? That was the best bit, with the beardy pigs, the Slender Loris and the antisocial giraffes.
I think if I was locked up in a cage 24 hours a day so that the general public could come and look at me and go "ooh it's so cute/scary/big/small/poisonous/gay/sexy/cool" I might get a little bored and sit there in a daze waiting for the next round of meals.
I laughed a lot at it.
But the animals weren't even comedy rubbish. Just either in a drugged up daze or dead.
But the animals weren't even comedy rubbish. Just either in a drugged up daze or dead.
That sounds hilarious. Why wasn't it funny. I don't think you should have taken it so seriously. It's a rubbish zoo, but there are many a hilarious animal.
A bulgy eyed Ninja maybe.
They had a rubbish chicken-thing called Cecil on display. You want to know what it did? It ran. That's it. Ran from one side of the park to the other.
And people applauded the running chicken thing.
They had a rubbish chicken-thing called Cecil on display. You want to know what it did? It ran. That's it. Ran from one side of the park to the other.
And people applauded the running chicken thing.
But pictures can't convey the comedy movement of the fabled Loris. Its stalks through the jungles of Sri Lanka like a ninja in the night.
gerrid wrote:
> NOw Goatbuy, tell me you are angry you missed this fine rodent.
----------
Sorry but a rodent that looks like my nan isn't enough to make up for the crushing depression of London Zoo.
> NOw Goatbuy, tell me you are angry you missed this fine rodent.
----------
Sorry but a rodent that looks like my nan isn't enough to make up for the crushing depression of London Zoo.
Make them walk threw and if they live they get a free coat.
Page: