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"Rubbish Zoo"

Went to London Zoo yesterday. hadn't been there in years, was really looking forward to it.
And it sucked. Big time.

1st stop the "Reptile House" with pics of snakes and stuff. Except in each display case what did I see? Logs. I think I saw the back of a snake in one, but mostly logs. It was crap. "The Spitting Cobra", cool! No, a log.
You should have keepers that lean in with a stick and angry up the snakes so you can actually see them.
Instead of logs. I can see logs anywhere, look, there's one right outside my window.
Rubbish.

Saw the Lions.
Except we saw 1 lion. It was sleeping. Again, there should have been some sort of prodding to make it move. But it just slept, and you could only just see the damn thing. "The master of the jungle, impressive and regal" said the card.
I saw a flea-bitten, sleeping stupid lion.

Monkeys.
Usually these are comedy gold. Pure, absolute simian-hilarity. Except the Silverback just sat there and looked bored and the 2 chimps hung up the top of the cage and stared at the floor.
I think they were monged on something, because I've seen monkeys on the television and they move and do things.
These apathetic apes just chilled and did nothing at all.

Mammals.
Ok, now this made me angry. It was billed as "Giant Anteater".
I was expecting house-sized. But this thing was no bigger than a family dog. Hardly giant is it? It just shuffled about and then went into it's hut thing. "Giant"? No. It should have been called "Staggeringly Normal Anteater"

We saw two orange wolves. Orange wolves? Ever heard of those? Nor me, I think they were foxes and they just made up some crap about them being rare and from somewhere else. They just lay there asleep as well. Disappointing? Yes. Predatory Canines? Nope.

And no elephants. They were on the map thing, but nobody had seen them or could find them. Biggest animals to walk the land and nobody could find them. Bunch of pants. Penguins stank and hid.

All in all, a rubbish day out. Although I did fit 2 doughnuts in my mouth at once. But I almost choked and had to poke them with some keys to create air holes.

Don't go to London Zoo, it's rubbish.

There was a thing about adopting an animal there.
But even if you adopt it, you can't take it out shopping or have a fight with it.
What's the point?

As a mate suggested, I should adopt a Silverback and teach it to maim goths, that would be funny. I'd have to play Marylin Manson and Fields of The Nephilim really loud 24/7 for about a month.
And dress in black and creep up whilst it slept, then shine a torch in it's face and whack it with a shovel.
Then take it to Camden and let it rip on a primal primate fury-benny.

I'd adopt one if that was allowed. But no. Instead you pay and can go watch it be miserable a lot.

Rubbish.

Nope, they just never took me to the zoo.
*Crys*

This is very upsetting for me you know.

Did your parents ignore you a lot, Mystique?

MoJoJoJo wrote:
> You've never been to a zoo, Mystique?
*****

Never ever ever.
*Crys*

You've never been to a zoo, Mystique?

Have you been locked in a bubble where scientists prod you everyday?

Goatboy wrote:
The camels were
> awake but they just stared like they wanted a fight with me.
> I reckon I could take a camel if it came to it.
******
LOL


I've never been to the zoo :(
All I want to go for is to see Monkeys and maybe a Tiger
*Crys*

"These apathetic apes just chilled and did nothing at all."

Sound like my kind of monkeys!

Zoos. Meh!

brilliant goatboy

im still smiling, very good use of words.

Just remembered,
On a school trip when I was about 7 one of the peacocks flew into the Lions den and the lion mauled it. Ripping it to shreads with blood and feathers going all over the place.
My best zoo moment ever.