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Went to London Zoo yesterday. hadn't been there in years, was really looking forward to it.
And it sucked. Big time.
1st stop the "Reptile House" with pics of snakes and stuff. Except in each display case what did I see? Logs. I think I saw the back of a snake in one, but mostly logs. It was crap. "The Spitting Cobra", cool! No, a log.
You should have keepers that lean in with a stick and angry up the snakes so you can actually see them.
Instead of logs. I can see logs anywhere, look, there's one right outside my window.
Rubbish.
Saw the Lions.
Except we saw 1 lion. It was sleeping. Again, there should have been some sort of prodding to make it move. But it just slept, and you could only just see the damn thing. "The master of the jungle, impressive and regal" said the card.
I saw a flea-bitten, sleeping stupid lion.
Monkeys.
Usually these are comedy gold. Pure, absolute simian-hilarity. Except the Silverback just sat there and looked bored and the 2 chimps hung up the top of the cage and stared at the floor.
I think they were monged on something, because I've seen monkeys on the television and they move and do things.
These apathetic apes just chilled and did nothing at all.
Mammals.
Ok, now this made me angry. It was billed as "Giant Anteater".
I was expecting house-sized. But this thing was no bigger than a family dog. Hardly giant is it? It just shuffled about and then went into it's hut thing. "Giant"? No. It should have been called "Staggeringly Normal Anteater"
We saw two orange wolves. Orange wolves? Ever heard of those? Nor me, I think they were foxes and they just made up some crap about them being rare and from somewhere else. They just lay there asleep as well. Disappointing? Yes. Predatory Canines? Nope.
And no elephants. They were on the map thing, but nobody had seen them or could find them. Biggest animals to walk the land and nobody could find them. Bunch of pants. Penguins stank and hid.
All in all, a rubbish day out. Although I did fit 2 doughnuts in my mouth at once. But I almost choked and had to poke them with some keys to create air holes.
Don't go to London Zoo, it's rubbish.
And it sucked. Big time.
1st stop the "Reptile House" with pics of snakes and stuff. Except in each display case what did I see? Logs. I think I saw the back of a snake in one, but mostly logs. It was crap. "The Spitting Cobra", cool! No, a log.
You should have keepers that lean in with a stick and angry up the snakes so you can actually see them.
Instead of logs. I can see logs anywhere, look, there's one right outside my window.
Rubbish.
Saw the Lions.
Except we saw 1 lion. It was sleeping. Again, there should have been some sort of prodding to make it move. But it just slept, and you could only just see the damn thing. "The master of the jungle, impressive and regal" said the card.
I saw a flea-bitten, sleeping stupid lion.
Monkeys.
Usually these are comedy gold. Pure, absolute simian-hilarity. Except the Silverback just sat there and looked bored and the 2 chimps hung up the top of the cage and stared at the floor.
I think they were monged on something, because I've seen monkeys on the television and they move and do things.
These apathetic apes just chilled and did nothing at all.
Mammals.
Ok, now this made me angry. It was billed as "Giant Anteater".
I was expecting house-sized. But this thing was no bigger than a family dog. Hardly giant is it? It just shuffled about and then went into it's hut thing. "Giant"? No. It should have been called "Staggeringly Normal Anteater"
We saw two orange wolves. Orange wolves? Ever heard of those? Nor me, I think they were foxes and they just made up some crap about them being rare and from somewhere else. They just lay there asleep as well. Disappointing? Yes. Predatory Canines? Nope.
And no elephants. They were on the map thing, but nobody had seen them or could find them. Biggest animals to walk the land and nobody could find them. Bunch of pants. Penguins stank and hid.
All in all, a rubbish day out. Although I did fit 2 doughnuts in my mouth at once. But I almost choked and had to poke them with some keys to create air holes.
Don't go to London Zoo, it's rubbish.
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The last time I went to London Zoo some complete joker appeared in his time machine and released a couple of Velociraptors, into the cage where Stinky the depressed Lion was residing.
The funny thing is that the Lion almost looked grateful as the Veloicraptors disembowled it, in front of a touring party of delegates from Elvis Lives! he is the king of our hearts society. Enraged (for stinky was verily their favourite smelly big cat) the twenty or so impersonators sang all of the King's least greatest hits back to back and sonically enraged the raptors so much that they imploded.
So you are wrong to say that the zoo is boring...as the informative info point about Siberian Snow Slugs, I was engorssed in when the aformentioned was happening, proves. I wouldn't have missed the five facts about frozen slime trails for anything.
The funny thing is that the Lion almost looked grateful as the Veloicraptors disembowled it, in front of a touring party of delegates from Elvis Lives! he is the king of our hearts society. Enraged (for stinky was verily their favourite smelly big cat) the twenty or so impersonators sang all of the King's least greatest hits back to back and sonically enraged the raptors so much that they imploded.
So you are wrong to say that the zoo is boring...as the informative info point about Siberian Snow Slugs, I was engorssed in when the aformentioned was happening, proves. I wouldn't have missed the five facts about frozen slime trails for anything.
I went ot Gatwick Zoo (before it closed).
An Iguana tried to attack me when i tapped the glass, but ended up just ramming the glass.
Two Monkeys came up in there cage and shook my hand. I gave the nuts I had in those little food cups. So cool, they actually reach out.
The Penguins followed me, so when i went left they swam left and what not.
Threw some food at a Meerkat by accident, made it jump.
A Wallaby escaped. Great fun ensued :-D
And Gatwick isn't even the ind of place you find decent animals. Seems much better than London :-)
An Iguana tried to attack me when i tapped the glass, but ended up just ramming the glass.
Two Monkeys came up in there cage and shook my hand. I gave the nuts I had in those little food cups. So cool, they actually reach out.
The Penguins followed me, so when i went left they swam left and what not.
Threw some food at a Meerkat by accident, made it jump.
A Wallaby escaped. Great fun ensued :-D
And Gatwick isn't even the ind of place you find decent animals. Seems much better than London :-)
I see that in my absence you have neglected the Loris. You are all crazy for not taking more notice.
I rememeber when I was in America, I saw a caged animal (one of the cat family, I forget which one) and it was pacing back and forth, obviously insane from being locked in a cage. And the cage was tiny. Zoos are evil
I think its sort of sad to see animals in thsose sort of places. I don't really go to zoos. I prefer 'animal sanctuaries'. Same thing I guess but it helps me feel better about what I'm seeing.
A lot of animal sancturies try and put the animals back where they came from. There is a wonderful monkey sanctuary in Looe where they do just that. They only deal with one particular type of monkey, and all the monkeys seem happy, they play and stuff, and the 'keepers' there seem to really love them.
I went to flamingo land about a year ago, but all the animals there are in cages or pits, and they don't do much. At least its got rides too though.
A lot of animal sancturies try and put the animals back where they came from. There is a wonderful monkey sanctuary in Looe where they do just that. They only deal with one particular type of monkey, and all the monkeys seem happy, they play and stuff, and the 'keepers' there seem to really love them.
I went to flamingo land about a year ago, but all the animals there are in cages or pits, and they don't do much. At least its got rides too though.
"Otters were also cool, they go in the water and get wet, then sqeak"
You on those magic mushrooms again?
You on those magic mushrooms again?
My parents tell me that I went to London zoo when I was 3 or 4.
They showed me a panda.
I said "I've seen that, what else is there?"
Probably the only time I'll ever see a panda, but it's not like it did anything, why should I have watched it for longer?
But Shepreth was cool because they had this little kart thing, we put Malibu and Georgia on it, and pushed then down the track. That was funny, and they liked it.
Mind you, the reptile house was rubbish. I saw one big lizard in there, and that was it.
They showed me a panda.
I said "I've seen that, what else is there?"
Probably the only time I'll ever see a panda, but it's not like it did anything, why should I have watched it for longer?
But Shepreth was cool because they had this little kart thing, we put Malibu and Georgia on it, and pushed then down the track. That was funny, and they liked it.
Mind you, the reptile house was rubbish. I saw one big lizard in there, and that was it.
See, I'd like that zoo because the animals sound like they gave an indication of being alive.
I saw Cecil the chicken-thing run about, I saw orange wolves (foxes) and I saw a pygmy hippo that looked like a liqourice sofa.
And a "Giant" Anteater that was, at best, middling. Certainly not a giant.
London Zoo, in fact, licks balls.
I saw Cecil the chicken-thing run about, I saw orange wolves (foxes) and I saw a pygmy hippo that looked like a liqourice sofa.
And a "Giant" Anteater that was, at best, middling. Certainly not a giant.
London Zoo, in fact, licks balls.
I went to Shepreth wildlife park the other day. (Just off the A10 between Royston and Cambridge)
It was cool.
I fed a pony though, and it left pony slime on my hand. That was not good.
The tigers walked around a bit, and Georgia said "Tiger", it was one of her first words.
The wolves were cool. They stood, and walked in water, and looked angry.
Otters were also cool, they go in the water and get wet, then sqeak.
There was an area with gravestones for dead animals. This was sad. And a coati had no tail because it got frostbite when the others wouldn't let it on the warm bed. This too was sad.
There was an insect area, with ants crawling on a bit of rope between tanks, and a sign that said don't touch the ants because they bite and there was a massive spider sitting on top of it's tank, but this made me go away from it because I don't like massive spiders I always think they will jump on my face and poison me to death.
They also had stuff from the movie "The Mummy Returns".
I like zoos, and animals, but not when they don't move, but these ones did move so it was okay.
It was cool.
I fed a pony though, and it left pony slime on my hand. That was not good.
The tigers walked around a bit, and Georgia said "Tiger", it was one of her first words.
The wolves were cool. They stood, and walked in water, and looked angry.
Otters were also cool, they go in the water and get wet, then sqeak.
There was an area with gravestones for dead animals. This was sad. And a coati had no tail because it got frostbite when the others wouldn't let it on the warm bed. This too was sad.
There was an insect area, with ants crawling on a bit of rope between tanks, and a sign that said don't touch the ants because they bite and there was a massive spider sitting on top of it's tank, but this made me go away from it because I don't like massive spiders I always think they will jump on my face and poison me to death.
They also had stuff from the movie "The Mummy Returns".
I like zoos, and animals, but not when they don't move, but these ones did move so it was okay.
There was no monkey sex huh? Zoos are a waste of time and money if you don't see sudden gratuitous monkey sex.
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