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"A question of humour."

Random question.

Sarcasm is often criticised as the lowest form of wit, so what do you think is the highest?

Oh, and tell me a joke. I want one from each of you.

Alfonse.

Doctor: "It's bad news I'm afraid Bob: you've got cancer and the early onset of Alzheimers."

Bob: "Damn, that is bad news. But hey, at least I haven't got cancer!"

I love Doctor jokes.

Doc: "Sorry to tell you this, but this is your last day to live."

Patient: "Then I will have a party. I will invite all my friends, everyone I know, including you Doc. There'll be music, strippers, fireworks if I can get them, and we will drink until dawn."

Doc: "Well that's easy for you to say, you don't have to get up in the morning."

Man, that's some sick stuff lol

Jim starts to feel very ill and starts having tests done with the hospital. Time passes and eventually he gets a phone call from the Doctor.

Doc: "Jim, I'm afraid there's good news and bad news. Which would you like first?"

Jim asks for the good news first.

Doc: "Well, the test results confirm you're dying of cancer and you have 48 hours to live."

Jim: "That's the good news? What could possibly be worse?"

Doc: "Well, I tried to call you yesterday."

Undeterred, and of high moral character, Jim decides to give his son a call and take him out drinking.

Jim: "Son, I've always bought you up to believe that if you get good news, we celebrate, and if things aren't going so well, we celebrate too. Well, things aren't going so well right now, so I think it's time we celebrate."

He explains to his son what's happened, and they go to the pub.

It falls into the night, and they're getting more and more drunk. There's been laughs and tears and plenty of emotion. They both feel incredibly happy to be spending the time together.

After a while in the pub, a friend of Jim's comes up to him and asks how he's doing.

"Ah not good I'm afraid. Found out I'm dying of AIDS."

So the two chat for a little while, before the friend leaves and goes about his way.

Jim's son asks, "Dad, why'd you tell him you were dying of AIDS? I thought you were dying of cancer?"

Jim replies, "Yes, it's cancer son, but I don't want those sons of b**tches sleeping with my wife once I'm gone."

Stupid Pixie wrote:
> I'm not very good at telling jokes but this one when i first
> heard it made laugh harded than i had in a long while.
> I don't think this joke is too rude, but if someone thinks it
> is, tell me and i'll edit it...
>
>
> A little boy and his parents went to the zoo one day for a treat
> because he had worked so hard at school that year. When they got
> there they went straight to the monkey enclosure and found that
> two of the monkeys were having sex, of course the little boy
> asked his mother what they were doing. Not wanting to go into the
> whole sex talk yet she just replied "they're making a
> cake". The boy found this very amusing and carried on with
> his day.
> Later on they came to the Zebra enclosure and they also were
> having sex, this time the boy asked his father what they were up
> to, and he replied "they're making a cake". Again the
> boy was amused and carried on.
> After they had eaten dinner they went visiting the turtle
> enclosure only to find two randy turtles. The boy asked his
> parents what they wre doing and the replied "making a
> cake". By this time, the little boy was getting very tired
> and wanted to go home, the parents agreed and took him back and
> then sent him straight to bed.
> Later on that night the little boy was very hungary so he
> checked his parents were sound asleep and snuck downstairs for a
> bite to eat. Before he could open the fridge he heard his parents
> coming downstairs so dived into one of the cupboards and hid
> there a while. Eventually they went up stairs and so they boy
> took some food and went also. In the morning when he came
> downstairs he asked his parents what they had been doing on the
> table in the night. Very embarrassed, they answered "we were
> making a cake" and the boy replied "i thought so,
> because i licked the icing of the table"


HAHAHA that's really good, wonder how the parents fell after that lol

I'm not very good at telling jokes but this one when i first heard it made laugh harded than i had in a long while.
I don't think this joke is too rude, but if someone thinks it is, tell me and i'll edit it...


A little boy and his parents went to the zoo one day for a treat because he had worked so hard at school that year. When they got there they went straight to the monkey enclosure and found that two of the monkeys were having sex, of course the little boy asked his mother what they were doing. Not wanting to go into the whole sex talk yet she just replied "they're making a cake". The boy found this very amusing and carried on with his day.
Later on they came to the Zebra enclosure and they also were having sex, this time the boy asked his father what they were up to, and he replied "they're making a cake". Again the boy was amused and carried on.
After they had eaten dinner they went visiting the turtle enclosure only to find two randy turtles. The boy asked his parents what they wre doing and the replied "making a cake". By this time, the little boy was getting very tired and wanted to go home, the parents agreed and took him back and then sent him straight to bed.
Later on that night the little boy was very hungary so he checked his parents were sound asleep and snuck downstairs for a bite to eat. Before he could open the fridge he heard his parents coming downstairs so dived into one of the cupboards and hid there a while. Eventually they went up stairs and so they boy took some food and went also. In the morning when he came downstairs he asked his parents what they had been doing on the table in the night. Very embarrassed, they answered "we were making a cake" and the boy replied "i thought so, because i licked the icing of the table"

jubbachainsaw wrote:
> Timmargh wrote:
>
> This guy walks into a pub. As he sits down on a barstool the
> barman notices that he has an orange for a head, so he asks
> him:
> "Excuse me, but why have you got an orange for a
> head."
> The guy replies: "Well, it's a funny story. I was walking
> through the woods one day when I found a lamp -- I gave it a
> good
> polish and a genie popped out and granted me three wishes. I
> wished for a million pounds, which I got. Then I wished that I
> could understand women, which I now can. And then I wished for
> an
> orange for a head."
>
> That is quality, consider it now my joke

I don't get it =(

Timmargh wrote:

> This guy walks into a pub. As he sits down on a barstool the
> barman notices that he has an orange for a head, so he asks him:
> "Excuse me, but why have you got an orange for a
> head."
> The guy replies: "Well, it's a funny story. I was walking
> through the woods one day when I found a lamp -- I gave it a good
> polish and a genie popped out and granted me three wishes. I
> wished for a million pounds, which I got. Then I wished that I
> could understand women, which I now can. And then I wished for an
> orange for a head."

That is quality, consider it now my joke

Why is a tightrope walker like a man receiving oral sex from an eighty year-old?
They're both thinking "Don't look down ... don't look down ..."

Why is a banana skin similiar to the letter F?

Because they both make all fall =D