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Sarcasm is often criticised as the lowest form of wit, so what do you think is the highest?
Oh, and tell me a joke. I want one from each of you.
Alfonse.
A bartender goes: "What started?! What are you talking about?!"
"No questions. Just give me the beer, faster!!!"
He drinks the beer and screams again: "One more, hurry up!!! Before it gets started!!!"
"What started?!"
"Nevermind!!! Give me my beer!!!"
He drinks the second glass and continues: "Third glass!!! Faster!!! Before it gets started!!! Do it!!!"
Finally, the bartender asks: "Hey, pal. Are you gonna pay?!"
And the man goes: "Damn! It's started..."
hehehe...oh dear. Sorry, can't make tea, Miss Leading has been moving the kettle and tea bags about.
> A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon
> down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and
> stand next to the Preacher.
>
> The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says,
> "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"
>
> The drunk looks back and says, "Yess, Preasher... I ssssure
> am."
>
> The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him
> right back up.
>
> "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked.
>
> "Nooo, I ddddidnt!" said the drunk.
>
> The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings
> him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"
>
> "Noooo, I dddid not Reverrrrend."
>
> The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30
> seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a
> harsh tone,
>
> "My God man, have you found Jesus yet?"
>
> The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher, "Are
> you sssssure thhhis is where he fffffelll in?"
Lame! But funny. Vexxed go make tea
The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk looks back and says, "Yess, Preasher... I ssssure am."
The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up.
"Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked.
"Nooo, I ddddidnt!" said the drunk.
The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"
"Noooo, I dddid not Reverrrrend."
The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone,
"My God man, have you found Jesus yet?"
The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher, "Are you sssssure thhhis is where he fffffelll in?"
One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night... look at the moon."
The other drunk stops and look at his drunk friend, "You are wrong, that's not the moon, that's the sun."
They started arguing for a while when they came upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him.
"Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?"
The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."
The nose then asks the bar keep again "Can I get a JD & Coke and a pint of lager" the bar keep turns round and says "I'm not serving you, your off your face".