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Her. She. That girl. I love her. I hate her. She has crippled me with soft eyes and a delicate mind. Why? Because she is the one thing that I want, but can't have, the one thing I need but I won't touch because of my mind and the one thing I want to because of my heart.
Some might say I love her. But I feel like she is my enemy. She hurts me in an invisible way, deep inside everytime she does the simplest thing. What to do? My nerves say no, my mind says stop it, but my heart and soul yearn for everything about her. I am confused - she is a drug that has fogged my mind and I don't know how to get off it. I don't really want to.
Some might say I love her. But I feel like she is my enemy. She hurts me in an invisible way, deep inside everytime she does the simplest thing. What to do? My nerves say no, my mind says stop it, but my heart and soul yearn for everything about her. I am confused - she is a drug that has fogged my mind and I don't know how to get off it. I don't really want to.
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Rejection sucks, but I'm sort of glad I experienced it, even if it was unbelievably painful. I think I needed to experience it.
Heh...still not over her yet. I'll probably end up seeing her in the summer holidays soon, and all those damn feelings will come rushing back.
Heh...still not over her yet. I'll probably end up seeing her in the summer holidays soon, and all those damn feelings will come rushing back.
I've had it easy. I've never asked anyone out. Ever.
My stats are good enough for a 22 year old. I've slept with 11 girls, 7 of them one night stands. I've been in 3 "proper" relationships, and one "on the side".
I don't have the confidence to ask girls out, because I've never needed it. Mine is a story of exception though, and until I put on a lot of weight this year, I considered myself to be quite good-looking.
Got the looks? Got the women.
My stats are good enough for a 22 year old. I've slept with 11 girls, 7 of them one night stands. I've been in 3 "proper" relationships, and one "on the side".
I don't have the confidence to ask girls out, because I've never needed it. Mine is a story of exception though, and until I put on a lot of weight this year, I considered myself to be quite good-looking.
Got the looks? Got the women.
Well do yourself a favour and skip the mistake of asking a work colleague out. ;-)
Thing is, I'm still stuck on the first stage of your post!
What is it about the damn teen years that do this to us ? I had the same thing when I was at school right upto leaving at 16. I fancied this girl named Charlotte for around 2 and a half possibly 3 years ! Thing is, for the first year and a half it was like I was some stalker. ;-))
She hardly knew my name but I practically worshipped her. :-\ Eventually, I got the guts to call her and ask her out, she politely turned me down saying she was with someone, etc. Being in love and completely stupid at the time I didn't see the hidden "sod off mate, I wouldn't go out with you in a million years" side of what she was saying. So about 10 months or so later I tried again with the same reply. I took ages before oneday, I got over her - it was that sudden. It wasn't something that weakened over time, it was like one minute I would have jumped off a cliff onto a spike for this girl, the next, I got half a brain and thought "hold on a minute, what the bloody hell am I doing ??"
Since then I've had quite a few experiences with girls - mostly sour. I fancied a girl at my first job just after leaving sixth form - basically an office job (data input). Her name was Sarah and she was a coupe of years older than me. After a good few months some friends I had there basically told her about it (I actually used to hang around with Sarah along with these blokes but I managed to keep it a secret from her until then.) Anyway, they told her about when I had to go into an operation - I saw her smile at me litterally on the last day of work before I was off for 3 weeks, so I knew they'd told her just by the look on her face.
After 3 weeks of dreading what was gonna happen and be said, I went into work and this girl Sarah really did tease me over it. She didn't so much say anything, she just gave me these looks I'm sure you all know about and gave off hints that she wanted me to ask her out. Of course the guys that told her were urging me on to do it and of course like no doubt a lot of you on this thread, although I had doubts about it, a part of me just wouldn't stop me wondering "what if ?"
After like 2 weeks of this torture I built up the courage to ask her, afterall, she was really leading me into asking her, so I thought I'd go for it. As soon as the other 2 guys went back into the office, I asked Sarah to go out with me - and then came the answer........."No, sorry"
What a heart ripping anti climax of an answer.....I'd gone through all that for 2 words, 2 poxy words that just hit me in the gut like a rock. Thing is, this heartache turned into sheer humiliation too as within 10 minutes of me getting turned down, everyone in the building was having a great laugh over what had happened to me. So besides feeling crushed I had to deal with like a week of going into work with people talking and laughing about it.
Since that time I have never again asked a girl out who I work with no matter what signs they give out. There have been a couple of girls I've liked but I've never even hinted to them or anyone else about it.
I have a girlfriend in the States now who I've been seeing for like 3 and a half years now. We have ours ups and downs, but overall she loves me and I know she'd never do anything to hurt me. That might seem a pretty brave thing to say but when your with a girl for as long as this, you get to know them more and my gf isn't the type to go out clubbing and pull as many blokes as she can or anything - she doesn't even drink.
Its nice to be in this relationship because after having girls in the past that have treated my feelings like crap, its nice to know theres someone that cares. I'm pretty sure anyone whos going through the same kind of stuff I did right now is feeling pretty down and depressed. But don't worry guys, you'll find someone, maybe in place you least expected. I certainly never would have guessed that I'd be with someone who lives in Florida. :-) Just remember, if a girl treats you bad (or vice versa for any girls reading this), they're not worth being upset over. You deserve someone who won't stamp on you as a person and oneday that person will come into your life - probably when you least expect it. :-)
By the way, sorry for the long post. ;-)
She hardly knew my name but I practically worshipped her. :-\ Eventually, I got the guts to call her and ask her out, she politely turned me down saying she was with someone, etc. Being in love and completely stupid at the time I didn't see the hidden "sod off mate, I wouldn't go out with you in a million years" side of what she was saying. So about 10 months or so later I tried again with the same reply. I took ages before oneday, I got over her - it was that sudden. It wasn't something that weakened over time, it was like one minute I would have jumped off a cliff onto a spike for this girl, the next, I got half a brain and thought "hold on a minute, what the bloody hell am I doing ??"
Since then I've had quite a few experiences with girls - mostly sour. I fancied a girl at my first job just after leaving sixth form - basically an office job (data input). Her name was Sarah and she was a coupe of years older than me. After a good few months some friends I had there basically told her about it (I actually used to hang around with Sarah along with these blokes but I managed to keep it a secret from her until then.) Anyway, they told her about when I had to go into an operation - I saw her smile at me litterally on the last day of work before I was off for 3 weeks, so I knew they'd told her just by the look on her face.
After 3 weeks of dreading what was gonna happen and be said, I went into work and this girl Sarah really did tease me over it. She didn't so much say anything, she just gave me these looks I'm sure you all know about and gave off hints that she wanted me to ask her out. Of course the guys that told her were urging me on to do it and of course like no doubt a lot of you on this thread, although I had doubts about it, a part of me just wouldn't stop me wondering "what if ?"
After like 2 weeks of this torture I built up the courage to ask her, afterall, she was really leading me into asking her, so I thought I'd go for it. As soon as the other 2 guys went back into the office, I asked Sarah to go out with me - and then came the answer........."No, sorry"
What a heart ripping anti climax of an answer.....I'd gone through all that for 2 words, 2 poxy words that just hit me in the gut like a rock. Thing is, this heartache turned into sheer humiliation too as within 10 minutes of me getting turned down, everyone in the building was having a great laugh over what had happened to me. So besides feeling crushed I had to deal with like a week of going into work with people talking and laughing about it.
Since that time I have never again asked a girl out who I work with no matter what signs they give out. There have been a couple of girls I've liked but I've never even hinted to them or anyone else about it.
I have a girlfriend in the States now who I've been seeing for like 3 and a half years now. We have ours ups and downs, but overall she loves me and I know she'd never do anything to hurt me. That might seem a pretty brave thing to say but when your with a girl for as long as this, you get to know them more and my gf isn't the type to go out clubbing and pull as many blokes as she can or anything - she doesn't even drink.
Its nice to be in this relationship because after having girls in the past that have treated my feelings like crap, its nice to know theres someone that cares. I'm pretty sure anyone whos going through the same kind of stuff I did right now is feeling pretty down and depressed. But don't worry guys, you'll find someone, maybe in place you least expected. I certainly never would have guessed that I'd be with someone who lives in Florida. :-) Just remember, if a girl treats you bad (or vice versa for any girls reading this), they're not worth being upset over. You deserve someone who won't stamp on you as a person and oneday that person will come into your life - probably when you least expect it. :-)
By the way, sorry for the long post. ;-)
Was it worth doing?
No.
If I could do it all again, I wouldn't. If you catch my drift. No girl is worth risking so much it might kill you. I'm only alive because I have some great friends who never left me alone long enough to slit my wrists or hang myself.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't take the risk, just don't put it all on the line when you do it.
No.
If I could do it all again, I wouldn't. If you catch my drift. No girl is worth risking so much it might kill you. I'm only alive because I have some great friends who never left me alone long enough to slit my wrists or hang myself.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't take the risk, just don't put it all on the line when you do it.
I meant was it a mistake - an actual error, or something worth doing, either for the releif of knowing or the elation of accpetance (sounds like a SP song!)
A very confuzzled 16 year old..............
A very confuzzled 16 year old..............
You will find out for yourself if you make the wrong decission.
How old are you by the way?
How old are you by the way?
Was it really that big a mistake?
Tekken may not be the greatest comparison, but I know the best years of my life were when I could love, and feel loved in return.
I can't love anymore. Only like or feel fond. Make sure you make the right decisions. I made the worng decisions, and it nearly killed me, or rather, nearly caused me to kill myself.
IB
I can't love anymore. Only like or feel fond. Make sure you make the right decisions. I made the worng decisions, and it nearly killed me, or rather, nearly caused me to kill myself.
IB
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