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It was then that I saw what I had been looking for, something I had looked for all my life and never been able to reach. I held my hand out to grasp this treasure but I let it leave me as easily as I took grasp. I let his hand go because he was going to let me fall anyway.
The light was getting dimmer now, no longer were there many options. Only a few tunnels remained as I stagger about fumbling against my pains. The two things in this life I had known were falling down around me, literally crumbling. Another, my last resort I could turn to that could keep me afloat let me drown. When all that happens, what do you do? How far would you go?
This object, the one I so desired was to be wanted. That feeling of being wanted has been needed ever since I was told I was not loved by my mountains, I had never made them proud and that they never wanted me.
When all these things happen. You realise you will never forget the expressions and the pain. Families don't forget, they only remember.
He walked away when I called to the door that he left shut. He left me to look at her in such a way that all I felt was hatred. How could I even think about hating my mother in that way? Vicious infinite regress.... forget those paths I mentioned earlier, this was a circle... it happens now near every other day, drink drives her. And it kills me. Yet she is blind and the rest of what is left of this household suffers.
Bye bye sister, bye bye brother, bye bye sister, you three left last year. Bye bye dad, you are still here, but you are merely a shell that operates on an excepting level. Its only me now and my little sister. Me, aged 17 and probably more mature than most thirty year olds. My little sister, confused and seeking her parents, although she only really has the good memories which haunt us both.
It rolls down my face now as I type. The tear tells the story on its own... struggling to release itself from my face, then when it finally drops it merely hits another part of my body and there it dries back in.
Over a year now, and too many secrets are kept.
Over a year now, and Joby has tried to end himself twice.
In a year from now, I will be out of this for sure.
The light was getting dimmer now, no longer were there many options. Only a few tunnels remained as I stagger about fumbling against my pains. The two things in this life I had known were falling down around me, literally crumbling. Another, my last resort I could turn to that could keep me afloat let me drown. When all that happens, what do you do? How far would you go?
This object, the one I so desired was to be wanted. That feeling of being wanted has been needed ever since I was told I was not loved by my mountains, I had never made them proud and that they never wanted me.
When all these things happen. You realise you will never forget the expressions and the pain. Families don't forget, they only remember.
He walked away when I called to the door that he left shut. He left me to look at her in such a way that all I felt was hatred. How could I even think about hating my mother in that way? Vicious infinite regress.... forget those paths I mentioned earlier, this was a circle... it happens now near every other day, drink drives her. And it kills me. Yet she is blind and the rest of what is left of this household suffers.
Bye bye sister, bye bye brother, bye bye sister, you three left last year. Bye bye dad, you are still here, but you are merely a shell that operates on an excepting level. Its only me now and my little sister. Me, aged 17 and probably more mature than most thirty year olds. My little sister, confused and seeking her parents, although she only really has the good memories which haunt us both.
It rolls down my face now as I type. The tear tells the story on its own... struggling to release itself from my face, then when it finally drops it merely hits another part of my body and there it dries back in.
Over a year now, and too many secrets are kept.
Over a year now, and Joby has tried to end himself twice.
In a year from now, I will be out of this for sure.
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And how petty my day seems in comparison...
Yeah, I dont ususally. Im normally really good and light hearted. But, I can only take so much, one day in about 3months, I feel like crap. Thanks YH and Joby, yor words were helpful and kind. I thank you.
GasMask wrote:
> Ok, thanks. I feel better now, I just have certain days..
You will have many more of those days in your life Gasmask... just always think of the future... at that time don't dwell on the past.
> Ok, thanks. I feel better now, I just have certain days..
You will have many more of those days in your life Gasmask... just always think of the future... at that time don't dwell on the past.
Ok, thanks. I feel better now, I just have certain days..
Don't you dare do anything Gasmask.
Everybody who knows you would miss you so much, especially your mum or dad and sister. Sure, at time they may completely ignore you. Hell.. I feel like that with my dad at the moment. However I know past his manac and hard exterior he loves me. Yours love you too.
When I have talked to you, you seem bright and are clearly going to become successful. Don't give up. Don't make the same mistake I was so close to doing, since then I have smiled and laughed, and those moments of happiness have been worth it.
Remember.... your midnight pumpkin awaits you. Concentrate on the future.. thats what gets me through.
Everybody who knows you would miss you so much, especially your mum or dad and sister. Sure, at time they may completely ignore you. Hell.. I feel like that with my dad at the moment. However I know past his manac and hard exterior he loves me. Yours love you too.
When I have talked to you, you seem bright and are clearly going to become successful. Don't give up. Don't make the same mistake I was so close to doing, since then I have smiled and laughed, and those moments of happiness have been worth it.
Remember.... your midnight pumpkin awaits you. Concentrate on the future.. thats what gets me through.
Gasmask, that's rubbish mate.
People would miss you for longer than a few weeks. People would miss you for years. My dog died for years ago, and I still remember him, and he was only a dog.
You friends and family would remember you for their whole lives. Not a day would go by when they wouldn't think of you.
We would all miss you on here, we would remember you.
Don't put yourself down so much, you're worth more than you seem to realise.
Imagine how terrible you would feel if, God forbid, one of your friends, or a member of your family died. They would feel like that if you did as well.
People love you, people would remember you. People don't want any harm to come to you.
People would miss you for longer than a few weeks. People would miss you for years. My dog died for years ago, and I still remember him, and he was only a dog.
You friends and family would remember you for their whole lives. Not a day would go by when they wouldn't think of you.
We would all miss you on here, we would remember you.
Don't put yourself down so much, you're worth more than you seem to realise.
Imagine how terrible you would feel if, God forbid, one of your friends, or a member of your family died. They would feel like that if you did as well.
People love you, people would remember you. People don't want any harm to come to you.
I feel for you Joby. I feel exactly the same, and I hope you go on and have a great life. I feel like crying. All things build up, and they annoy me. I feel like, dieing, and nobody would care. Maybe my Mum and Dad for a few weeks, but is that all im worth, a few weeks? My sister wouldn't miss me, only few friends would miss me. I feel like crap. Leave me to die..
A good topic,
I'll be in thie Forum a lot more than before now.
Nice one er-no.
And thanks for pointing it out for me :-D
I'll be in thie Forum a lot more than before now.
Nice one er-no.
And thanks for pointing it out for me :-D
blahpro wrote:
> er-no wrote:
> Me, aged 17 and probably more mature than most thirty year olds.
>
> Yeah right....
> Sorry. I'm really grumpy this morning.
Bit of a childish comment that didn't have to be said. Feel like calling you something very harsh... but its not worth it.
> er-no wrote:
> Me, aged 17 and probably more mature than most thirty year olds.
>
> Yeah right....
> Sorry. I'm really grumpy this morning.
Bit of a childish comment that didn't have to be said. Feel like calling you something very harsh... but its not worth it.
er-no wrote:
> Me, aged 17 and probably more mature than most thirty year olds.
Yeah right....
Sorry. I'm really grumpy this morning.
> Me, aged 17 and probably more mature than most thirty year olds.
Yeah right....
Sorry. I'm really grumpy this morning.
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