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I DEMAND TRIAL BY COMBAT
By Aidan Mcgurran
FED up Leon Humphreys shocked magistrates by demanding the right to trial by combat under medieval law.
Jobless mechanic Leon, 60, made his request after being charged with failing to notify the DVLA that his motorbike was off the road.
He claimed he was entitled to ask the court to establish his guilt or innocence by allowing him to fight to the death against a champion nominated by the DVLA.
Leon said the fact he had opted for trial by combat meant he did not have to enter a plea.
But JPs decided to log his unusual request as a not guilty plea and adjourned his case.
Bachelor Leon, of Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk, said after the hearing: "I believe the right to trial by combat is still on the statute books. I am willing to fight a champion put up by the DVLA if they want to accept my challenge."
The right to trial by combat was introduced by the Normans. It was assumed the person in the right would win as God would back the victor.
The law allowed priests, women and the elderly to substitute champions to fight on their behalf.
The practice was commonplace until the 1300s when trial by jury began.
A spokesman for the Lord Chancellor's department said: "I am not aware that anyone has the right to demand trial by combat these days."
By Aidan Mcgurran
FED up Leon Humphreys shocked magistrates by demanding the right to trial by combat under medieval law.
Jobless mechanic Leon, 60, made his request after being charged with failing to notify the DVLA that his motorbike was off the road.
He claimed he was entitled to ask the court to establish his guilt or innocence by allowing him to fight to the death against a champion nominated by the DVLA.
Leon said the fact he had opted for trial by combat meant he did not have to enter a plea.
But JPs decided to log his unusual request as a not guilty plea and adjourned his case.
Bachelor Leon, of Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk, said after the hearing: "I believe the right to trial by combat is still on the statute books. I am willing to fight a champion put up by the DVLA if they want to accept my challenge."
The right to trial by combat was introduced by the Normans. It was assumed the person in the right would win as God would back the victor.
The law allowed priests, women and the elderly to substitute champions to fight on their behalf.
The practice was commonplace until the 1300s when trial by jury began.
A spokesman for the Lord Chancellor's department said: "I am not aware that anyone has the right to demand trial by combat these days."
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Oh come on, mum jokes are below the belt by definition.
Insane Bartender wrote:
> before or after i roll off her?
There was no need for that.
> before or after i roll off her?
There was no need for that.
She rolls on top of you
Squash
Squash
Ho ho, that was below the belt.
Your Honour wrote:
> I could kill you with my mum.
before or after i roll off her?
> I could kill you with my mum.
before or after i roll off her?
I dont think there is an object that exists which you couldnt use to
cut
bludgeon
stab
suffocate
someone with.
These are dangerous times.
cut
bludgeon
stab
suffocate
someone with.
These are dangerous times.
I could kill you with my mum.
Uh uh
I'd punch you
I'd punch you
I could push it into your brain.
a crumb could catch in the lung at an awkward place, cause you to cough dramatically, and die of a brain anurism.
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